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lost daddy · Jul 27, 2009, 12:26 AM

I just discovered that I am the father of a wonderful girl whom I had no idea she was alive until recently.the grand parents have third party custodybecause the mother is a screw up and lost her daughter on grounds of child adbandoment.it has been proven that I am the father and have been placed on the birth cirtificate and child support has been established.I am in contact with my daughter,and have traveled to their home,but the grand parents are limiting the time,and ill not alow a visit to my home. They are becoming increasingly difficult and I am getting frusterated with the situation.ther has never been anything saying I can't make disisions in my daughters life. What kind of rights do I have in this situation?? thank you

stevetcg · Jul 27, 2009, 03:46 AM

If you have been determined to be the father, you have all the rights of a father. If the child's legal guardians are not allowing you the access to *YOUR CHILD* that you wish, you go to court and have it ordered. They have no choice but to comply... especially in light of the fact that the mother seems to be out of the picture and your *claim* to the child is stronger than theirs, according to the law anyway.

ScottGem · Jul 27, 2009, 05:53 AM

How old is the child? Why were you not aware of her? What attempts were made to locate you when the mother "abandoned" her? What is your home situation? Are you willing to assume full custody?

The answers to those questions will have a bearing on your ability to assert your rights.

But the bottomline is you need to go to court to assert your rights. If you have been declared the legal father and support has been set, you should have also gotten a visitation schedule. If you didn't then go back to court for it.

lost daddy · Jul 27, 2009, 10:33 AM

First off thank you for your replys... she is 4 years old,the mother was a fling and I soon moved out of state,there were no attempts to get a hold of me until grand parrents started receiving cash from the state... my home situation is good.. I am married and a proud father of two.. now three.. and yes I am ready for full costody...

s_cianci · Jul 27, 2009, 10:48 AM

File a motion with Family Court for visitation. Spell out exactly what you want regarding when, where and for how long. Then let the judge sort it out.

ScottGem · Jul 27, 2009, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by lost daddy

First off thank you for your replys.....she is 4 years old,the mother was a fling and i soon moved out of state,there were no attempts to get a hold of me untill grand parrents started receving cash from the state...my home situation is good.. i am married and a proud father of two ..now three..and yes i am ready for full costody...

Yep that's often the way it happens. The state doesn't want to pay for supporting a child when there is a father who they can tap for it. Also the child's is at a good age (not too young, not too old) for the court to consider a change of custody.

Frankly, I would go for full custody. Your explanation is that you were unaware of the child uintil recently and now that you are you and your family are ready to embrace her. The worst that can happen (from your standpoint), in my opinion, is that she will remain in the grandparent's custody, but you will get extensive visitation.

I would also make it clear to the court that you will allow the grandparents more than reasonable visitation is they award you custody. Tell the court you don't want to shut out the grandparents, but, if you knew about the child earlier you would have stepped in.

JudyKayTee · Jul 27, 2009, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by lost daddy

First off thank you for your replys.....she is 4 years old,the mother was a fling and i soon moved out of state,there were no attempts to get a hold of me untill grand parrents started receving cash from the state...my home situation is good.. i am married and a proud father of two ..now three..and yes i am ready for full costody...

Wow! A father who takes responsibility! Don't see that here a lot -

Yes, I absolutely agree with Scott. I don't recall if you said DNA testing was done. If not, it should be done to prove paternity and then make your Motion for custody.

And as a side note - most of the people who post here are running away. You are refreshing.

lost daddy · Jul 27, 2009, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Wow! A father who takes responsibility! Don't see that here a lot -

Yes, I absolutely agree with Scott. I don't recall if you said DNA testing was done. If not, it should be done to prove paternity and then make your Motion for custody.

And as a side note - most of the people who post here are running away. You are refreshing.

Yes<DNA result was 99.999999.hahaand thank you for your compliment;)I also agree that too many guys are running away and not facing them like MEN... and I also thank my wife jodi who has inspired me to be the best father/husband I can b.