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-Seven- · Jul 25, 2009, 11:42 PM

I used to have terrible social anxiety, I'm slowly getting over it though. But I was wondering if the reason behind it could be empathy, as if I had a heightened or amplified sense for the emotions of those around me? I'll be around people and feel extremely tight and uncomfortable, I'll come to just observe my thoughts and feelings and wonder why I'm naturally reacting this way, I'll turn my focus away from the people and the environment, and I'll still feel it even when I'm deep in my mind. What are your thoughts on this, any advice on overcoming it if this is the case?

Wondergirl · Jul 25, 2009, 11:45 PM

Actually, you are (were?) not feeling empathy--just the opposite. You were not able to get outside your own skin to feel what anyone else was feeling. You were locked within yourself.

To overcome social anxiety, start small. Talk to a few people every day. Choose strangers if you think they are less judgmental. Choose certain coworkers if that is comfortable. If conversation is difficult, use empathetic words and phrases such as "Tell me more" or "And?" to keep people talking (so you don't have to).

0EntitY · Jul 26, 2009, 12:14 AM

Reality is the present. I try to do things to help keep me in the now. The mind is booby-trapped so to speak, so you don't want to introvert very often. When I find my attention straying there I find an object close by and look at it until my attention is back into the present again. You think better, feel better, and make better decisions when being in the present. Sometimes answers will simply come to you. When you want to figure something out write it down on paper. Writers know this technique all to well...

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2009, 12:22 AM

Originally Posted by 0EntitY

When you want to figure something out write it down on paper. Writers know this technique all to well...

I'm a writer. This technique doesn't work for me.

-Seven- · Jul 26, 2009, 12:24 AM

Great advice.

Also, I'm pretty well versed in the concept of the "now". Though lately I've been wondering where you are when your in your head observing your thoughts and emotions? When your not delving in the past or future? I'm a very intense introvert, I honestly feel like I'm border line autistic. When I become aware of the present moment, every time it's like waking up to my surroundings. The funny thing is that when I go introverted I have what I consider a very profound and deep level of perception. So it kind of makes me wonder where my awareness should be, and where it should stay? (sorry I got off topic)

Oh and how do I give reputation? Or edit a post? All I see is "quote user" and that's about it. : /

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2009, 12:29 AM

Originally Posted by -Seven-

I'm a very intense introvert, I honestly feel like I'm border line autistic. Oh and how do I give reputation? or edit a post? All I see is "quote user" and that's about it. : /

Be careful re autism. A number of members have autistic children and don't use the term lightly.

You haven't been on the site long enough to give reputation. You should have a button that says Edit. If not, that will come soon too--I think after 15, or maybe 30, posts.

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2009, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by -Seven-

Oh, I understand alot about autism. My cousin is autistic. I honestly don't feel there is any reason to be touchy about it. Autistic people have incredible depth perception, they can be more intelligent in specific areas than most people could possibly dream of.

I know. My husband is autistic as is one of our sons, and my husband's father was autistic.

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2009, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I would suggest that anyone considering engaging in a "conversation" with this person read the other posts.

I smell, at best, a troll.

Yes, I was watching...

N0help4u · Jul 26, 2009, 06:03 PM

Sounds to me like you are actually blocking some things out and other things getting more aware of. I don't think it has anything to do with empathy or sympathy.
What you are describing sounds to me like coping mechanisms dealing with anxiety and stress. Like you start feeling anxiety so you numb yourself to some of your environment.

I use to numb myself a lot when I was going through years of stress.

0EntitY · Jul 26, 2009, 07:03 PM

Is it just me or is someone using more than one handle?

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2009, 07:14 PM

Originally Posted by 0EntitY

Is it just me or is someone using more than one handle?

Huh?

0EntitY · Jul 26, 2009, 07:53 PM

A Handle is the forum name that a person uses to post with. Having multiple handles is common by a few users on a few other websites I go too. I'm new here so have not had enough time to spot a user having more than one handle. Something, hunch, or whatever put my attention on it here recently...

N0help4u · Jul 26, 2009, 07:54 PM

WG knows that I think she wants to know which posts/names you are referring to that give you that idea.

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2009, 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by 0EntitY

Something, hunch, or whatever put my attention on it here recently...

Now that you've brought that up, please tell us which name you think is only one of several used by the same person.

0EntitY · Jul 26, 2009, 07:59 PM

None in particular, it's a general kind of hunch. I was hoping someone who has been here awhile would know...

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2009, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by 0EntitY

None in particular, it's a general kind of hunch. I was hoping someone who has been here awhile would know...

Nohelp has been here longer than I, and I've been here a while. Neither Nohelp nor I go by another handle on this site.

I've never encountered an OEntitY since I joined my first online community site back in 1998.

N0help4u · Jul 26, 2009, 08:04 PM

I don't think seven is either
I haven't ran across any in quit a while that I thought were using two names.
The moderators keep up on that because they can see ALL the IP numbers and compare them

0EntitY · Jul 26, 2009, 08:06 PM

Like I stated, it was just a hunch and could have easily happened on another question and answer...

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2009, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by 0EntitY

Like I stated, it was just a hunch and could of easily happened on another question and answer...

No one is obliged to use the same screen name on each site he/she joins.

Your vagueness and ellipses seem familiar...

-Seven- · Jul 26, 2009, 09:44 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

sounds to me like you are actually blocking some things out and other things getting more aware of. I don't think it has anything to do with empathy or sympathy.
What you are describing sounds to me like coping mechanisms dealing with anxiety and stress. Like you start feeling anxiety so you numb yourself to some of your environment.

I use to numb myself a lot when I was going through years of stress.

Yeah I think you might be right. My uncle overdosed on heroin, during which I gave him CPR (we were living together) and for some reason I was the only person in the family and friends that didn't get emotional. I was even questioned as to whether I even cared. I still think about him about every other day but I never get emotional about it. Plus I was the same way with insults as a child, when people would make fun of me I wouldn't even get the urge to defend myself. I've changed a lot since then though.

As for my thoughts on empathy being a possibility, I got the idea because I'm actually highly sensitive to my emotions, I guess I have good depth perception or something. I figured that just in the way they say electromagnetic fields and the such change your mood, so might the emotions of others? Just on a more unconscious note, I'd gander.

Sorry if all my posts seem a little too descriptive, I have an odd way of explaining myself. I contemplate these subjects the majority of every day. It's an obsession.