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Geoffersonairplane · Jan 7, 2007, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by kay13

His Dad wrote him a short note at Christmas saying that he was sorry mistakes had been made. My son's reaction was to say it wasn't about their relationship anymore, but about how he'd seen me treated. That made me feel quite proud.

I think you have every reason to feel proud of your son. He obviously has a good head on his shoulders and is able to judge situations well. Forgiveness is an important quality to have but he is obviously not ready for this and his decision to change his surname to your maiden name shows that he wants to stand by you regardless of his father's attempts to apologise. This is a good thing and I expect it was somewhat hard for your son to make that decision.

Here's looking at 2007 being a great year for you and your son and in fact for everyone.

kay13 · Jan 7, 2007, 09:45 AM

Hi Geoff, yes I think it must have been very hard for him. I was very close to my father but he died at a very young age. I remember him supporting me through all my achievements and sorrows and I feel hurt that my son never had that from his own father.
He is a strong willed young man with the courage of his convictions, and for that I greatly admire him. Had I found a tiny bit of his courage, this situation would have died a death a long time ago.
2007 here we all come!

kay13 · Jan 19, 2007, 12:41 PM

Hi all, just a quick question really, you've seen me through so many emotions can I ask just a little more help?

Is it normal to still feel a little resentment when I get to hear of some of the things ex hubby has planned? He's taking his new squeeze on a cruise in March. Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous and I don't want to go back but when we were together I often asked if it was something we could do as a family and he always said that he didn't fancy the idea. So why now? Why couldn't he do it with his family? It seems that he is living all the dreams I had. Sorry for banging on, but I don't like this feeling and I don't quite know how to handle it.

talaniman · Jan 19, 2007, 01:36 PM

Kay every time you hear that your ex has farted you will feel pangs of resentments. That is normal and human. Somedays will be better and some will be pretty damn bad , but know you will get over it. Let him fart all he wants.

momincali · Jan 19, 2007, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Kay everytime you hear that your ex has farted you will feel pangs of resentments. That is normal and human. Somedays will be better and some will be pretty damn bad , but know you will get over it. Let him fart all he wants.

Very well spoken, let him fart until he turns blue... Kay, you must see by now that he is now, and has been for the last many years a miserable old fool who realizes he truly has nothing and has to pretend he has something, so he buys them. He bought a house, he bought a fancy tub, he bought a cruise and this is how he continues to buy his tart of a girlfriend... pathetic really. He will never fill that void, ever. You are rich in comparison with your son and daughter by your side!

T- tried to rep you, still rollin'

kay13 · Jan 21, 2007, 09:19 AM

Tal, you made me laugh - yes I do resent him farting:D
Momincali - I do feel rich indeed, thanks for making me see what rich really means. X

talaniman · Jan 21, 2007, 10:15 AM

With the relationship you have with your kids ,your ex will be spending a lot of money, and never have what he really wants. You think he isn't jealous of you?

ordinaryguy · Jan 21, 2007, 12:04 PM

Kay, you have so much to look forward to. First, the full realization of how pathetic and desperate he's being; then, the wave of relief as you realize that it has nothing at all to do with you, it's out of your life entirely, and you haven't thought about him in days.

K_3 · Jan 22, 2007, 06:14 AM

It is normal to have little resentments pop up when he does things now that you would have liked to do. It has nothing to do with you. Nothing to do with this new woman. It is a different time in his life and he wants to do these things now. When he was younger and with you he did not, whether it was for financial reasons or that he was not ready yet, who knows. The fact is, he is still the same person inside. He may have bought a house, hot tub, trips, that is all superficial. He is still the person that rejected you and his children. We can all change where we live, the clothes we wear and where we go and what we do and even our hairdo. The fact of the matter is, we are still the same sheet of paper we started with. His children will never hold him dear to their hearts nor will they respect him or ever have a close relationship with him. You have a house full of love, warmth a hot tub could never give and memories of your children that a cruise could never replace. You are blessed. He is searching.

kay13 · Jan 22, 2007, 11:21 AM

Tal, yes I think he is jealous of the relationships I have with the special people in my life, I only wanted him to enjoy being one of them, he didn't want to be.

Ordinary guy, does him living such a full life show he's pathetic and desperate, is he just trying to out-play me because I took our kids on holiday last year? You're right about one thing, he's out of my life for the first time in 20 years - it's hard to adjust to but it sure is an easier life.

K_3 - I certainly am blessed and yes he is the same person he always was. Perhaps he is still searching, I just don't know what for anymore.

kay13 · Jan 25, 2007, 08:09 AM

Just bumping this up friends, I'm having such a tearful day for some reason.

wap · Jan 25, 2007, 08:19 AM

A couple of us have felt low this week Kay. Chin up, keep as strong as you can : )

Geoffersonairplane · Jan 25, 2007, 08:28 AM

Yes, I have had a couple of down days but like Wap has said to me, I think it is o.k to have moments of weakness or down times, it is only natural. Keep your head up high and know that the down days will become few and far between the longer that time moves on.

wap · Jan 25, 2007, 08:38 AM

We will all be in a better place soon : ) and be stronger for it

kay13 · Jan 27, 2007, 07:06 AM

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Here's hoping that better place is just around the corner. X

talaniman · Jan 27, 2007, 07:16 AM

Hmmm, does that mean its time to shop until you drop?

momincali · Jan 27, 2007, 10:26 AM

T- Was that a rhetorical question? It's always time my man!

talaniman · Jan 27, 2007, 10:44 AM

I know my wife and daughter are so long gone.

kay13 · Jan 29, 2007, 11:13 AM

Oh yes Tal, shop till I drop is definitely on the cards! Not only that but lots of plans for home improvements which should keep me busy until the next millennium! Feeling better already!

momincali · Jan 29, 2007, 11:28 AM

Kay, I hope things are picking up for you today and I hope you were able to shop until the salesman dropped. It's funny how that works for us.

I was kind of bummed out the other day cause I wasn't able to go to a school competition my daughter had been preparing for because I am recovering from gall bladder surgery. I felt so sad cause I wanted to be there for her. So, I put a nice note in her backpack and she called me when she got it. Then my hubby called me from time to time to give me a play by play and it helped. Well, I got my handy dandy laptop and shopped eBay until they came home. I didn't go nuts buying stuff, but I did find a really cool gift for my daughter and that really lifted my spirits. I also downloaded some itunes she'd been wanting on her laptop and surprised her that way. Shopping saved the day once more...

She came in 2nd place in regionals in a graphic arts design and engineering. Yaaaay!!