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Senior Member
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Jul 22, 2009, 10:43 PM
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I am woman, hear me roar.
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made
a mess." "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Lucy raised a hand and said, "Our family are farmers, too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks and the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched." "That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am! My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Marge. She was a flight engineer during Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a Machete. So .. she drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break. Then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until it ran out of bullets! Then she killed 20 more with the machete till the blade broke; then she killed the last 10 with her bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that awful story?"
"Stay away from Aunt Marge when she's been drinking."
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Ultra Member
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Jul 22, 2009, 11:10 PM
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LOL... Good one :)
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Ultra Member
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Jul 22, 2009, 11:12 PM
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Hahahaha. Thank you. I needed a good laugh tonight.
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Pest Control Expert
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Jul 23, 2009, 01:55 AM
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I love it being Aunt Marge instead of uncle somebody, too.
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Uber Member
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Jul 23, 2009, 11:22 AM
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Hahahha nice one, I love little johnny jokes! :D
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Ultra Member
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Jul 23, 2009, 11:24 AM
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LOL!! I like that
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Ultra Member
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Jul 25, 2009, 12:21 AM
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Just read this one a few days ago, but still good!
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Uber Member
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Jul 26, 2009, 07:25 PM
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Aunt Marge is one tough cookie for sure.
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Senior Member
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Jul 26, 2009, 07:33 PM
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For some reason, I imagined Aunt Marge with a moustache and a pink nighty, killing all the enemies with rollers in her hair.
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Ultra Member
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Jul 26, 2009, 07:41 PM
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Lol, like it :D
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Ultra Member
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Jul 26, 2009, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Torrid13
For some reason, I imagined Aunt Marge with a moustache and a pink nighty, killing all the enemies with rollers in her hair.
Agreed, and don't forget the cigar, blowing smoke-rings!
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Senior Member
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Jul 26, 2009, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by HelpinHere
Agreed, and don't forget the cigar, blowing smoke-rings!
And the tattoos! :D
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Ultra Member
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Jul 27, 2009, 08:25 AM
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Loved it.
Someone needs to open a thread for little johhny jokes. They are always a good laugh.
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