[Mahlia513]

Ok so here's my sappy story haha... My ex-boyfriend Mike and I dated for aboutr a year and a half. We met through friends in July of '05 and he immediately pursued my like crazy. He would drop everything for me. He was my first boyfriend and my first love. We would see each other probably 2 or 3 times a week. I was very non schalont about things with us and he never knew whether I liked him or not. He told me he loved me one month into our relationship. There was one problem thought, he was Muslim. Me being Arabic and understanding that mixed religion relationships don't work out very well broke things off with him about 2 months into things(around the end of September). A few days after I broke things off with him he asked me to give it another chance, but I said no. We continued talking and me being only 17 at the time would just tell him that we were friends. We still talked probably 20 times a day and still said I love you and all that stuff but we didn't hook up. We would kiss and hold hands and cuddle though. So basically we were the same as before except without the title. This went on from September to December. We exchanged Christmas gifts and he called me his girlfriend. In February, my senior year of high school a girl approached me and told me that she had been sleeping with him since September when I broke up with him. It was a very sticky situation. Me being soooooo thankful that I never planned to sleep with him, confronted him about it and he cried on his knees to take me back and that he was sorry. I told him I never wanted to talk to him again and a week later he called me begging me to take him back. A few days after this happened my best friends dad passed away. It was a very difficult time for me and I was vulnerable. We ended up getting back together in March(about a month later). Then in April, he got in a drunk driving accident. The accident wasn't a bad one, and the cops let him go but his parents are very very strict and he got his cell phone and his car taken away for 4 months. I only saw him twice a month probably. He would BEGGG me on the phone at night... "Mahlia I just am so afraid that you're going to get fed up with my bull**** and say forget it, please please be patient baby, please." I believed that he would do the same for me so I did. I waited for 4 months for him. Finally in August he got a car and his cell phone back and things were going good. We were so in love, but I have a pretty strict family so I never slept with him. I'm one of those girls who would never ever ever ever be the first one to call a guy and I would play hard to get and so on. My friends and family kept saying things to me like... Why are you with him? It can never go anywhere... You guys aren't going to get married blah blah blah... This got to me so bad. I finally brought it up to him. I just said that people give me a lot of **** about being with him because of his religion. I wasn't rude or anything to him though. And he told me that he had never htought of it like that before which I find hard to believe though because it was kind of an elephant in the room sort of thing. I sort of feel like everything went down hill from there. We did have other problems though like he was very very very not trusting of me and would be on my *** about everything... what I was wearing, who I was with, where I was going blah blah blah... Coming from an Arbic family though this was normal to me and my dad is like that so that explains a lot. Also we never ever saw each other. Granted he works for his family business and works about 70 hours a week and goes to school full time, but he would always chose to be with his friends over me. Also he would make plans with me and then cancel at the last minute. It would make me so upset. He started becoming distant a little. Granted he would still tell me how much he loved me alll the time and that I was his world and blah blah blah. I broke up with him about 3 weeks ago. Realizing 3 days after this that I love him so much I didn't want to be without him, I told him I thought we should be together. He agreed. The week after we got back together was amazing. I felt very in love with him. I really thought things were going well until a week after we first had broke up, he broke htings off with me. He said that it was because he wasn't happy but I don't know if I buy that. Did he pretend to be happy during the past week? Because honestly I hadn't felt that connection that I did that past week in a longgg time. Then again who am I to tell him that he was happy? I honestly believe that if he wasn't happy with us then he did the right thing by breaking things off. I was sooo shocked that he broke things off with me I was devistated. Things weren't over for me and he still remains my best friend. I love him to DEATH and I know your proly like OK so you love him w/e.. no I really really really do love him. He really has a good heart and makes me laugh like no other. We still talk but just not as much and we still consider each other our best friends. I have had my doubts through out the relationship about whether we would just be better as friends, but I can't STANDDD the thought of him being with someone else. Is that just my attachement to him talking? I just need a guys point of view. Someone who will not beat around the bush. BUT PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE LOL. I know you're probably like wow this girl is crazy to still want to be with him, but maybe I just needed to see it on paper? I dono but I would LOVE your feedback.. MWAHHHHH LOVE U!! :)

[shygrneyzs]

To answer this very briefly - walk away from this guy. You already stated there are some key issues concerning cultures and religions. You are young enough that this will heal. Give yourself the respect your deserve. Do not go chasing this guy. Instead, focus on getting your own self respect to a healthy level and seek a relationship that you deserve. Good luck.

[Morganite]

This guy is deadly! Kick him to the kerb.

"He's a taker, and after he's taken the heart
And the soul that she gives him
He'll take her for granted.
Then he'll take off and leave her,
And take all her heart when he goes."

How many times do you have to be used, abused, lied to, cheated on, and used as a doormat before you see just what this charmer is like in his heart? You deserve much better, so be smart and wait for better.


M:)RGANITE

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[s_cianci]

Keep in mind that in most Muslim cultures women are second-rate and take a back seat. You say you are Arabic but not of his religion. I don't know what religion you subscribe to but, as you say, people of such persuasion are often very strict about relationship issues. Frankly I'm surprised that he didn't catch as much flak about you as you did about him. It also sounds like you smothered each other in the beginning and even during the times you were "broken up" and that's never healthy. You gave each other no space whatsoever. After your initial breakup he felt that he could do whatever he wanted. I won't tell you what to do in this situation but, in my opinion, it doesn't sound like he's a good catch.

[LUNAGODDESS]

I was inspired by Morganite's response: Here is a story I read...

“…You know Brer Rabbit said to be the wisest animal in the forest. So Brer Rabbit was walking along one day when Brer Fox came along. Say, Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox says, aren’t you going to the big meeting? Every body going…that is so, says Brer Rabbit sure I am going…so Brer Fox went off a Brer Rabbit he takes a look around. Pretty soon he see hundreds of footprints an all going in the same direction. Then he sees they all rabbit tracks...Mmm, says Brer Rabbit, all them tracks going that way an not a single one coming this way. That aren’t no place for me…” source :“No Tracks Coming Back”:

He be this way before and probably with many other women…you do not need to go to that place with him…are you not better than that?

[talaniman]

You want to see it on paper. Leave him alone. You deserve better.

[Morganite]

Shel Silverstein said it all in “The Taker.”

He's a giver, he'll give her
the kind of attention that she's never known
He's a helper, he'll help her
to open the doors that she can't on her own
He's a lover, he'll love her
in ways that she never has been loved before
And he's a getter, he'll get her
by gettin her into the world she's been hungerin' for

'Cause he's a taker, he'll take her to places
And make her fly higher than she's ever dared to
He'll take his time before takin' advantage takin' her easy and slow
And after he's taken the body and soul
That she gives him, he'll take her for granted
Then he'll take off and leave her
Takin' all of her pride as he goes

Yes, he's a taker, he'll take her ...

He's a charmer, and he'll charm her
With money and manners that I never learned
He's a leader, and he'll lead her
Across pretty bridges he's planning to burn
He's a talker, he'll talk her
Right off of her feet, but he won't talk for long
Cause he's a doer, and he'll do her
The way that I’d never
And damned if he won't do her wrong

'Cause he's a taker, he'll take her
To places and make her fly higher than she's ever dared to
He'll take his time before takin' advantage
Takin' her easy and slow
And after he's taken the body and soul
That she gives him, he'll take her for granted
Then he'll take off and leave her
Takin' all of her pride as he goes

Yes, he's a taker, he'll take her …

http://www.lyricsdownload.com/kristo...is-lyrics.html

[LUNAGODDESS]

This is a section from a short reading from " John Henry", by Leadbetter ( Huddie Leadbetter)

"...John Henry was sick, he Polly Ann to his bedside, and this is what he asked Her:
Baby, who's going to shoe your little feet, baby, who's going to glove your hand, tell me who's going to kiss you sweet little lips, tell me who's going to be your man, Lord, Lord, tell me who's going to be your Man...tell Me who's going to be your man, Lord, Lord, tell me who's going to be your man...

This is what she told Him:
"... My pap's going to shoe my little feet, my mam's going to glove my hand,. my sister's going to kiss my sweet little lips, and you know I don't need no man, Lord, Lord, you know I don't need no am... and you know I don't need no man, Lord, Lord, you know I don't need no man... "

from the beginning of story Polly Ann prove she could do what ever an man can do and she needs no man to tell her she is of value...

[Wildcat21]

Morganite - that can also work with women as well. I've known a few women like that - huge takers.

[King Ali]

To make this short and simple its what you believe just because of different religions doesn't mean anything its not up to everyone else on who you love don't be pressured into breaking up with anyone if you don't see the need I had a similar experience except mine was with age I was 15 this girl was 13 and it was all because she was 2 yrs younger did I listen to people yeah at first but then just seeing her around was killing me so forget it I went back out with her the point is WHO CARES what evrybody else thinks forget them all its up to you. BUT if all he wants from you is to you know sleep with you its not worth don't ruin your life like that you have all the time in the world for that you seem pretty young like me Im 17 and still a virgin and I'm not ashamed of it and I'm going to be one for awhile cause I've got more stuff on my mind other than that. IT Isn't WORTH IT.

[LUNAGODDESS]

Using rhymes is a lot easier on some people then get a life we don't care... many women believe if they are not with a man they are useless... and that is not so.. especially if she in a country that promotes higher education for the women... she has selfworth.. and do need to move on... he is keeping in touch with her only to take advantage of her for his purpose... I only hope she has brothers that are carrying a heavy attitude towards any man that desires to abuse their blood... if she does then she will be just fine...