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    mocha81's Avatar
    mocha81 Posts: 36, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 22, 2009, 12:42 PM
    Moving in together
    How do you approach the subject of moving in together without sounding like your pushing it on him. We've been together for over a year and it seems like everyone else we know that other started dating at the same time as us or after us moved in together after a couple months.. even two months after they got together.. both of us agreed they were moving way too fast. But now it's been over a year, I'm thinking it's other you know what you want with that person or you don't. Do you want a life together or not. I'm 21 and still live at home I desperately want to move out other on my own or with him. Just want to open up the idea to him now.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jul 22, 2009, 12:46 PM
    Then tell him you plan on moving out. Don't obligate him to join, just discuss how you feel it's time to be on your own two feet. There is a lot to learn about yourself from living alone before you live with someone else anyway, so if he doesn't show any enthusiasm for the idea of living together, then don't worry and move out without him, that doesn't mean you have to stop dating.

    One year sounds like a long time, but it's really not. So do what you have to do to be independent, it will benefit your relationship.
    Torrid13's Avatar
    Torrid13 Posts: 637, Reputation: 149
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Jul 22, 2009, 12:52 PM

    Some people don't believe in living together before marriage. Not saying that's your guy, but that's always a possibility.

    I agree with Justy: move out on your own and be independent. Even if he doesn't join you (unless you want him to to also help pay for the new place?) you'll feel really accomplished, and no doubt he'll be impressed that you were able to go through such a change on your own.

    And true; just because you don't live together doesn't mean you have to stop dating!
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 22, 2009, 12:57 PM

    If you're scared going to be pushing the idea on him by asking him to move in together, then it means you're not ready.

    Moving in together is a huge commitement and you need a strong communication system before. The fact that you need to ask us the question means that the two of you do not have a strong communication system at the moment. It might be difficult to admit, but if you had a strong relationship, you would be scared to bring this idea up to him.

    Don't let others around you influence your relationship decisions. Every relationship is DIFFERENT. Go at your own pace. I suggest you work on strengthening your relationship before you consider moving in together.
    genesisz's Avatar
    genesisz Posts: 21, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jul 22, 2009, 04:13 PM

    There really not an approach you can take. But the best way is to get an magazine with places in it an when you to are justin chillin take it out an be lik I was thinking to move out of my parents place getting a place for myself.then be like I was wondering can you help me caus I'm lost . After when you pick out a few place offer him to come along with you.ask him which one does he like the most.then when he pick just be like I'm not trying to pressure you or anything but I was wonder do you want to get a place together. You don't have to choose today just think about it. Hope this helps

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