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rodmeier · Jul 21, 2009, 01:27 PM

My wife and I were divorced over 7 years ago. We were both remarried within 3 years of our divorce. Our oldest daughter got married while serving with the Marine Corp by the justice of the peace before her husbands second deployment. They are both out and would like to have a "wedding" with family. The grooms parents cannot afford to help. My wife I gave them a honeymoon when they got married last year. The brides family lives in the midwest and the groom is from the west coast. My daughter is wanting a California wedding and a mid west reception. My question is who should pay for what? My daughter has indicated that her mom will most likely not want to pay for anything. Emails to my ex go unanswered.

jennica90 · Jul 21, 2009, 01:40 PM

Hi, now that's a big question... you know I completely understand that there is always wedding drama, so here's a way to do it. Have the grooms parents plan the wedding, but to keep inventory of all dues owed. Have them write down everything that the bride and groom want for the wedding make them write down the prices, the types and etc. I know it's going to be hurting your wallet when it comes to your daughter's wedding, but it's going to be hurting their time having to plan it. Make them plan it and you pay for it. But before any major plans begin, you should get a legal document saying that the grooms parents must plan the wedding and that you will pay. The leagl document is in case anything happens down the road or any problems jump your way. If they plan it and you pay for it, you both have to put in almost the same amount of work. Good luck to the bride and groom and to you the new father in law.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 21, 2009, 01:56 PM

They got married, had a honeymoon, if they now want a "big" wedding, they pay for it.

stevetcg · Jul 22, 2009, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

They got married, had a honeymoon, if they now want a "big" wedding, they pay for it.

It's their party, it's their bill. Its not a wedding... they are already married. Its just an excuse for a party.

crisluvsu731 · Jul 22, 2009, 01:45 PM

Well, the brides side pays for the weeding, and the grooms side pays for the reception. Your daughter should delegate what needs to be paid for.

h_leann_b · Jul 22, 2009, 03:31 PM

The whole 'bride's family pays' is old and out-dated. If you have money to help; then do it. But if not... they should pay for their own wedding. And like previous posts say... they are already married. And they are expecting you to pay for their party?

I think if you want to help, give them a budget of what you can help with. Give them that money. And they should plan around that.

crisluvsu731 · Jul 22, 2009, 03:39 PM

I still believe in that

h_leann_b · Jul 23, 2009, 06:46 AM

However, the groom generally pays for the honeymoon; and the brides parents paid for that.