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reckless · Jul 21, 2009, 08:30 AM

We had been going out for about a year and a half. She broke up with me, told me she needed space, that she was growing up, that she needed some time alone, that she needed to find herself, etc. I acted very desperate and called her maybe 6 times in a 1.5 month long period. She never picked up.

I got over her and stopped caring. I went out with another girl. While I was going out with this new girl, my ex called me and basically told me that she loved me and wanted me back. Coincidentally the new girl I was going out with broke up with me. I used that as an opportunity to get back with my ex.

Now we've been back together for two months. Things are definitely not as good as they used to be. She has threatened to break up with me over PDA when she was with her friend. I agreed to her boundaries, but she's still treating me badly. When I call, she keeps our conversations dangerously short. I think it's because her long distance best friend is staying over for x number of weeks and she wants to spend time with her, not me. The fact that she threatened to break up with me has really soured my feelings for her.

It's not really all that great to get back with your ex. It is possible, but the reasons she got back with me are all stupid.

1. She was jealous.
2. Things didn't work out with the new guy I found out she was hitting on.
3. She was lonely and doesn't have many friends.
4. I demonstrated that I didn't need her anymore and she was afraid of losing me.

Now I don't know what to do. I straight up asked her, "Do you want me out of your life while your friend is here?" She said, "yes."

Is this just a phase and should I wait it out, or should I straight up just break up with her?

talaniman · Jul 21, 2009, 10:30 AM

Vanish from her life! Get your own that makes you happy.

liz28 · Jul 21, 2009, 10:38 AM

Your just going wait around for her to break up with you?

You tried to work on the relationship again but it still isn't working. Why stay when your unhappy and being treated poorly?

Next time stay out of her life regardless what she saids. Never settle!

Torrid13 · Jul 21, 2009, 10:47 AM

Become Houdini and SHAZAM your way out of there!

All the reasons you listed on why she wanted you back (or possibly wanted you back) seem to ring true.

You got over her, and now you're in a bad place. Dump her. She's a user, and you're much too nice for that (RIGHT? )!

Don't let her turn you into a Sour Puss! Break up with her! Let her use someone else, and go get another saucy mamacita!

I wish · Jul 21, 2009, 11:14 AM

Sounds like she's just hanging on to you until she finds someone better.

Relationships are suppose to be happy and natural. This relationship sounds unpleaseant and forced.

Go find happiness elsewhere.

slapshot_oi · Jul 21, 2009, 11:19 AM

So getting back with the ex ain't so good after all?

Well, lesson learned. The least you can do now is break up with her before she breaks up with you.

Sparky1969 · Jul 21, 2009, 02:37 PM

Walk away and have no contact. If you do have moments of doubt. Log on to this site, read your post and replies.

Romefalls19 · Jul 21, 2009, 02:49 PM

They have this amazing thing on ALL cell phones. It's called a power button, it gives you the opportunity to turn off that phone and get busy with you life, also if you happen to leave your phone on, you can hit "end" when you see her number and it ignores her call so you don't have to listen to her whine.

reckless · Jul 21, 2009, 09:23 PM

Nope, she beat me to it. She broke up with me after a fight I had with her best friend today. It's over. I'm going NC again.

De4rest · Jul 21, 2009, 10:02 PM

Wow, what an ex! She sounds so selfish but I have to say one thing though. You are using her as well lol (getting back with your ex as an opportunity). I'm cheering for you about the NC part. I hope you won't take her back next time she did this again.

friend4u178 · Jul 21, 2009, 11:14 PM

Well this is what I see happening if you stay with her , you'll end up having another fight and she'll...

Oops I see it's already happened :rolleyes:

Your far better off without her , just don't break NC!!

reckless · Jul 22, 2009, 12:20 AM

Now I can't sleep. I feel like calling her and it's 3 am. I know it's not right, so I'm doing this instead. I know that we love each other, but we got into too many fights about little things.

To win her back I go NC right? Nothing I say is going to change her mind about this right?

Sparky1969 · Jul 22, 2009, 12:47 AM

NC is not about winning her back. It's about helping you to move on and enjoy a life for you.

reckless · Jul 22, 2009, 01:25 AM

Then what do I do to win her back. It's 4 am and I seriously cannot sleep.

Sparky1969 · Jul 22, 2009, 02:07 AM

When relationship troubles are on your mind - everyone has trouble sleeping.

You probably think you want her back and are confusing being or your own with missing her.

Do nothing and focus on the new life and freedom you can now have.

slapshot_oi · Jul 22, 2009, 05:03 AM

Originally Posted by reckless

We had been going out for about a year and a half. She broke up with me... now we've been back together for two months. Things are definitely not as good as they used to be... she broke up with me after a fight I had with her best friend today... what do i do to win her back?

Lesson not learned, or you're a masochist.

To your credit, you're at least reliable. She can always count on you to be there when she gets bored and wants a boyfriend again.

ZoeMarie · Jul 22, 2009, 05:26 AM

Originally Posted by reckless

then what do i do to win her back. it's 4 am and i seriously cannot sleep.

Explain, please, why you even want to win her back. You know there are other girls out there right? It sounds like you're just trying to settle for something you're familiar with. Forget about her.

reckless · Jul 22, 2009, 05:57 AM

Well I knew that calling her was a bad idea, but I did it anyway. I got her to forgive me, admit that she loved me, and go on a date with me. We're going on the date "as friends" but I don't think that's even possible. I have a feeling that at the very least we'll kiss, and at the maximum we'll get back together. I can't make the first move though, because it might make her angry.

She's says that we should be friends right now, but admits that later on we could get back together again.

Yeah, I am a masochist. I don't really care. I won't be able to update you guys for my 3 day vacation. I'm leaving my phone here so I can't call her. Hopefully the date on Sunday doesn't turn against me.

N0help4u · Jul 22, 2009, 06:07 AM

Its your turn to tell her YOU NEED space.
Don't waste your life waiting on her to decide to break up again. What if she decides she is in this for the long haul?
You would be living a lie to both you and her.
You aren't in love with her don't waste another minute. She wasn't thinking of you when she needed her space. So why are you so concerned over hurting her feelings?

She got back with you for all the wrong reasons... she made her bed don't lay in it with her.
Get OUT

reckless · Jul 22, 2009, 06:12 AM

Well we aren't technically back together again for the 2nd time around. Regardless, I know we both love each other, it's just we fight about stupid things. Once that stops, everything will be good again. I'm the instigator, so it's a problem with me and not her. I've just been stressed lately, and I'm sure things can be normal again once her friend leaves and she's alone again.