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inertia · Jul 20, 2009, 07:38 AM

Below my standards wouldn't work, now would it? Cute simply means "I'm attracted to her" and trust me, personality influences how "cute" they are. Everyone thought my GF in college was ugly, but I thought she was pretty hot. After they got to know her, they thought she was hot too. C'mon. All I'm saying is, I've hit a dry spell and it's frustrating, not that I can't get a date. You are right about me processing everything they say, but that's me, always has been. If they have gone almost 30 years saying exspecially, ain't or regardless, it won't work (ha, even spell check didn't catch irregardless). If celeb tabloid news is considered news at all, I've lost interest.

sweet1028 · Jul 20, 2009, 08:08 AM

No girl in the world is perfect. A good personality will take you far pretty or not pretty. So you are saying that if they say certain words, you "ain't" going for them? That's pretty ridiculous, I'll let somebody else help you out I've done said all I can say. If no one else can help you out, they have toys for men too.

redhed35 · Jul 20, 2009, 08:33 AM

Hey inertia,longest I went without sex when I was married was 18 months,ex husbands idea not mine..
And 4 years in my thirties,I suppose that was through choice though... 37 now and in a relationship,so far so good,he was worth the wait!

Like you I was fed up of the dating/club stuff, and moved to a quite area,I was not even looking for someone,he just happened to be my neighbor!

My point is,the drought will end,hopefully before 4 years! But it will end,have a look around you,is there a woman that you not even considered?
Someone right under your nose.

jmw0713 · Jul 20, 2009, 09:17 AM

I'm right there with you buddy. Going on a few months now with out any sort of connection (physically and mentally). I think I miss the mental aspect of sex with a person I love a little more than the physical aspect of the act itself.

A drought is a drought no matter what the circumstances. Good luck. I hope the drought ends for both of us sooner than later.

Hang in there!

inertia · Jul 20, 2009, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by sweet1028

No girl in the world is perfect. A good personality will take you far pretty or not pretty. So you are saying that if they say certain words, you "ain't" going for them? That's pretty rediculous, I'll let somebody else help you out I've done said all I can say. If no one else can help you out, they have toys for men too.

Woah!! Did I strike a nerve or something? Ridiculous in your eyes, maybe. How we speak says more about us as individuals than what we wear, what we do or what kind of music we listen to. My English is far from perfect and my vocabulary could always most certainly grow, but in order for me to respect the person I'm dating, we have to be in the same ball park. I'm certain someone with a PhD in literature would find my speech atrocious. Everyone talks about respect on this board and while I think it's important to always be respectful to other human beings; true mutual respect is necessary in romantic relationships. I also work out. Again, I'm not looking for a swimsuit model, but in order for us to be compatible, we have to place importance on similar things.

I never said other people's standards were ridiculous. If girls like guys with long hair, I'm certainly not their type. I don't yell at them for being closed minded.

jmw0713 · Jul 20, 2009, 09:41 AM

No girl in the world is perfect. A good personality will take you far pretty or not pretty. So you are saying that if they say certain words, you "ain't" going for them? That's pretty ridiculous, I'll let somebody else help you out I've done said all I can say. If no one else can help you out, they have toys for men too.

She's just mad that she can't have you that's all.. LOL!

inertia · Jul 20, 2009, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by redhed35

hey inertia,longest i went without sex when i was married was 18 months,ex husbands idea not mine..
and 4 years in my thirties,i suppose that was through choice though...37 now and in a relationship,so far so good,he was worth the wait!

like you i was fed up of the dating/club stuff, and moved to a quite area,i was not even looking for someone,he just happened to be my neighbor!

my point is,the drought will end,hopefully before 4 years!! but it will end,have a look around you,is there a woman that you not even considered?
someone right under your nose.

Well my ex lives less than a mile away (just kidding). No one under my nose I'm afraid. This is a true dry spell. It's a little scary. I'm just at the age where all of my old friends and female contacts are married with kids or about to be. The good news is, I've decided to back to grad school, so I suppose there is a chance I may meet someone there.

jjwoodhull · Jul 20, 2009, 10:04 AM

Grad school is a great place to meet people. And the people you meet will have the same education level as you and likely have similar interests.

As for the grammar/vocabulary debate... I understand completely. That is a pet peeve of mine, also.

slapshot_oi · Jul 20, 2009, 10:06 AM

Now I remember, you're the one who started a thread where you wrote that all of your friends are married, and their suggestion to explain why you aren't is that your standards are too high. From the demeanor of your post, particularly this quote:

Originally Posted by inertia

Woah!!! Did I strike a nerve or something?

(re-read your reaction, you're defensive, she struck a nerve with you) I can see what they mean. I don't think sweet1028 was wrong at all in what she said.

You can't expect to have much luck in the sack if you scrutinize everyone you come across. This isn't a bad thing, but if something's not working, it's probably time for a change. And if you refuse to put yourself out there and go to bars and singles gatherings I don't know what else to tell you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Best of luck.

inertia · Jul 20, 2009, 10:37 AM

Oh slapshot, you got me. What can I say? The "your being defensive" accusation is pretty weak, don't you think? I realize I'm somewhat antagonistic, but I don't name call. This (AMHP) is my private little interactive journal. Trust me, I argue with myself more than I argue with all of you. It's how I reason. That will never change because it works. I'm not sorry to say that I'm a catch. I'm looking for another catch. A dry spell and "something's isn't working" are completely different. I have been pretty successful thus far. My love life can't always be satisfying. I'm going through a somewhat lonely period. Sure, I could "lower" my standards and snag someone up today, but in the end, I'll hurt them and I know it. "Lower your standards" is horrible advice to anyone. It isn't as if I'll only date movie stars or something. I am going on dates and I certainly give everyone the opportunity. I'm not naïve enough to assume I can determine compatibility in minutes. I get rejected too. It's what being single is about.

inertia · Jul 20, 2009, 10:45 AM

Everyone is so quick to dispense advice on how someone should change here. Sometimes things just suck. You ride it out. My God, I think someone could seriously develop personality disorders if they spent too much time on this site. As a matter of fact, I think I'm done here. I'm eternally grateful to the folks that saw me through my recent break up. This site does offer plenty of wonderful tools to use in getting over a bad break up, however I should move on if I'm just looking to complain a little with other folks that are probably in the same boat as me.

I'm not leaving on a bad note, I just realize that I have somewhat outgrown the use of this site as a sounding board. I'd like to point out KCTiger, Romefalls and Talaniman are pretty much right on in everything they say. Although, I do like to argue with KCTiger because he does too.

kctiger · Jul 20, 2009, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by inertia

I'm not leaving on a bad note, I just realize that I have somewhat outgrown the use of this site as a sounding board. I'd like to point out KCTiger, Romefalls and Talaniman are pretty much right on in everything they say. Although, I do like to argue with KCTiger because he does too.

Right back at you buddy! You'll get out of this soon... lowering your standards would compromise yourself as a person and that clearly isn't the answer... never is. Stay the course and eventually you will get there. (Best advice I could do right now, I know it ain't much)... :cool:

talaniman · Jul 20, 2009, 10:52 AM

Nice rant/vent, tame by my standards, but okay in of itself.

inertia · Jul 20, 2009, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Nice rant/vent, tame by my standards, but okay in of itself.

Well, I'm sure I'll develop into the uncompromising old badger you are some day. You remind me of my dad. I'm still young enough for a bleeding heart.

slapshot_oi · Jul 20, 2009, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by inertia

I realize I'm somewhat antagonistic, but I don't name call. This (AMHP) is my private little interactive journal. Trust me, I argue with myself more than I argue with all of you.

I believe you, people who strive for perfection are always hard on themselves and then hold others to the same standards.

Hope it all works out for you!