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userdoright · Jul 16, 2009, 07:57 PM

How hi my name is tommie from CA how are you today!Now I understand that you guys can't tell me how this court date is going to be on the dot but relax on giving me the worst outcome because I know this is how you work cool.Now me and the mother have been in court 6 month now fighting over our 10 month old daughter now and it seems like it's finely almost over.The last court date we were in the judge gave me the right to be her father and keep my name on her birth papers.So she asked us to try and come to an agreement and so we were sent to the help center from the court and the mother of our child seemed to not like the fact that we would going on a Visitation time sheet.Like the idea going week by week just sucked a--!So because I was trying to by nice and start right I said that we could try and work this out our self.She had said some time I come around to were you live and I could bring her down and she said I could bring her down to your house and you could have her for a few hours because she said that she wants to come to the idea of the baby being with me.So it was said that if anything goes wrong then we would come back and try doing it by putting it on paper.Will every thing went wrong she turned right back into the reasons I took her to court in the first place.So I asked her to come by to the help center where the court asked us to go and she has not answered me or she just push it away.And for some reason I asked her if we had to go back to court for this last meeting on the agreement they asked us to come to and she says we do not have to go when they said I have to be there because I filed the case and she has to be there.Now right now I just moved 3 and a half hour away and I go to her house to see her for 9 hour every other week.The baby is just now stating to eat food at this point and she is still breastfeeding.So what I'm asking what is the best way to try and get over her for the weekends.I was think about 12 to 13 month to start that what do you think?

N0help4u · Jul 16, 2009, 08:13 PM

So you are saying she agreed to something and now she only wants you to go there and see the baby for a few hours?
You need to go back to court and file that she is not cooperating and you want a support order.
Also you want to maintain seeing your daughter as much as possible if you don't then the court can use that against you.

I am not exactly sure what you are saying is happening at the moment but it sounds like she is trying to sabatoge your having any visits at all. You need to keep going to court and fighting for your rights and make sure you see her as much as possible. Don't put off for a yr that will backfire on you.

stinawords · Jul 16, 2009, 08:50 PM

I think you need to quit playing games with the mother and just go to court and have the judge give you visitation. I know the court sent you to work it out but it obviously isn't working out if you are on here asking questions about how to get more time. Yes at age one (twelve months) is when the infant laws no longer apply and much more visitation time is allowed. So, get ready to finish the battle in court so that neither of you can hold it over the other one that one of you is more giving than the other and she can't hold the child from you because it is court ordered.

userdoright · Jul 16, 2009, 09:01 PM

Originally Posted by stinawords

I think you need to quit playing games with the mother and just go to court and have the judge give you visitation. I know the court sent you to work it out but it obviously isn't working out if you are on here asking questions about how to get more time. Yes at age one (twelve months) is when the infant laws no longer apply and much more visitation time is allowed. So, get ready to finish the battle in court so that neither of you can hold it over the other one that one of you is more giving than the other and she can't hold the child from you because it is court ordered.

Hey thanks man!! I just don't want to come off like a monster and try to start making her give her to me.

userdoright · Jul 16, 2009, 09:03 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

So you are saying she agreed to something and now she only wants you to go there and see the baby for a few hours?
You need to go back to court and file that she is not cooperating and you want a support order.
Also you want to maintain seeing your daughter as much as possible if you don't then the court can use that against you.

I am not exactly sure what you are saying is happening at the moment but it sounds like she is trying to sabatoge your having any visits at all. You need to keep going to court and fighting for your rights and make sure you see her as much as possible. Don't put off for a yr that will backfire on you.

So you are saying she agreed to something and now she only wants you to go there and see the baby for a few hours? Yes.And we got the child support order done I pay her in full last month that was the first one.

N0help4u · Jul 16, 2009, 09:08 PM

You NEED to tell the Judge you want a court order visitation. She is only going to keep dangling a carrot for you to chase and never let you get anywhere with it. Take it to court and have the Judge make the decision and its done and over with. Then if she violates it you take her back to court. She is hoping and counting on your being passive about this.
Then if you visit very little or sparatic she will use that against you in court.

userdoright · Jul 16, 2009, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

You NEED to tell the Judge you want a court order visitation. She is only going to keep dangling a carrot for you to chase and never let you get anywhere with it. Take it to court and have the Judge make the decision and its done and over with. Then if she violates it you take her back to court. She is hoping and counting on your being passive about this.
Then if you visit very little or sparatic she will use that against you in court.

Wow how sad!

cadillac59 · Jul 16, 2009, 10:25 PM

The baby is just now stating to eat food at this point and she is still breastfeeding.So what im asking what is the best way to try and get over her for the weekends.I was think about 12 to 13 month to start that what do you think?

I don't understand your question? What does "get over her for the weekends" mean ? What does " about 12 to 13 month to start" mean?

cadillac59 · Jul 16, 2009, 10:32 PM

If your question is how to have overnight visitation, file a motion and ask for it. Unless you are a danger around the child (alcoholic, drug abuser, violent) you should get it. You have to go to mediation before the judge can rule on it, but the courts arrange for this for free.

That's it.

N0help4u · Jul 17, 2009, 04:41 AM

Yeah I am not sure if he meant get her over for visits or get over her being in his life for a while but in either case he NEEDS to get an order and see her so he establishes a good history for court.

Don't let her use breastfeeding as an excuse.
She can use a breast pump that should be helpful for at least a day or so.

userdoright · Jul 17, 2009, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by cadillac59

The baby is just now stating to eat food at this point and she is still breastfeeding.So what im asking what is the best way to try and get over her for the weekends.I was think about 12 to 13 month to start that what do you think?

I don't understand your question? What does "get over her for the weekends" mean ? What does " about 12 to 13 month to start" mean?

Sorry I meant So what I'm asking is what's the best way to try and get overnights and weekends and I was thinking I would give it till the baby is 12 to 13 month to have her over.

userdoright · Jul 17, 2009, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

yeah I am not sure if he meant get her over for visits or get over her being in his life for a while but in either case he NEEDS to get an order and see her so he establishes a good history for court.

Don't let her use breastfeeding as an excuse.
She can use a breast pump that should be helpful for at least a day or so.

See because I was trying to be nice and it seem trying to get my girl over is so hard I was trying to push this when I go back to court Monday July 20th when she turns 12 or 13 month do you think that's a good idea?

userdoright · Jul 17, 2009, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by cadillac59

If your question is how to have overnight visitation, file a motion and ask for it. Unless you are a danger around the child (alcoholic, drug abuser, violent) you should get it. You have to go to mediation before the judge can rule on it, but the courts arrange for this for free.

That's it.

No I do not have a record at all.Just she always says that she wants me to get her overnights when she is 4 years old.It seem since I took her to court and the older the baby get it get hard to see her.

N0help4u · Jul 17, 2009, 11:45 AM

No you don't tell the Judge in 12 or 13 months,
That is what I was saying. You just go get a court date and leave it up to the Judge.
If your ex has objections you come up with things like ''what about a breast pump then?''

If you go into court letting her run the show or you going along with whatever she says or you come off as too passive like 'Oh maybe 12 or 13 months' you aren't going to get anywhere. The Judge will think that if you aren't that interested for the next 12 to 13 months maybe you just don't care.

Generally Judges have like a basic outline for scheduling visitations and so you should just tell the Judge that you want him to write up the court order.

userdoright · Jul 17, 2009, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

No you don't tell the Judge in 12 or 13 months,
That is what I was saying. You just go get a court date and leave it up to the Judge.
If your ex has objections you come up with things like ''what about a breast pump then?''

If you go into court letting her run the show or you going along with whatever she says or you come off as too passive like ''Oh maybe 12 or 13 months you aren't going to get anywhere. The Judge will think that if you aren't that interested for the next 12 to 13 months maybe you just don't care.

Generally Judges have like a basic outline for scheduling visitations and so you should just tell the Judge that you want him to write up the court order.

Hey think you so much for all your help!! I will tell you everything on momday!I think you gave me just what I wanted to know.