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AJ_007 · Jul 13, 2009, 01:13 AM

Am dating this guy from past 6 months and he has this habit of making fun of my family and friends while we get into some silly debates...
When I convey my dislike, all he sez is he din mean it and since he didn't mean he wunt apologize. What do you think of this guy? Immature?

redhed35 · Jul 13, 2009, 03:58 AM

Immature and disrespectful.

He is mocking the people you love,he is hurting you, and really sounds like he does not care.

If I said something in jest and I realised I had hurt someone's feelings I would be gutted.
I certainly would not repeat the mistake nor ignore the hurt I had caused.

If he has done this more then once and you have asked him to stop and he has not,he's not going to stop.
Its up to you if you want to continue dating someone who does not respect your feelings.

zippit · Jul 13, 2009, 04:05 AM

Originally Posted by AJ_007

habit of making fun of my family and friends ?

This is something that couples sometimes do after being together for years,and its
<to me> the lowest of the lows,usually saved for the worst arguments.
When he's knocking you'r family he's knocking you,and what made you.
He doesn't even know your family you have been together long enough

zippit · Jul 13, 2009, 04:12 AM

Opps posted too quick

Let me ask does he make fun of a lot of things like strangers on the street etc. if so he might just be the type of guy that likes to people watch and criticize and make fun of and its not the nicest way to be but lets face it we'er all guilty of making fun of someone.I would just ask him to leave family out of it,if he continues it's a big time red flag

N0help4u · Jul 13, 2009, 04:37 AM

If he is doing this when he is arguing he is really immature and uses mocking as his defenses when he doesn't know what to say because he has to win in his eyes. In a way it is a diversion tactic to get off the fact that he is not winning. If he plays card or board games with a group of people does he act like a sore loser or big baby when he loses? That would be a good sign that he is immature.

It is probably a compulsive attitude that he will refuse to quit as much as he refuses to apologize.

You may need to have a talk with him when he is not being like this and tell him that you can't stand that behavior and it may end up causing you to break up with him. Like zippit said when he's knocking you'r family he's knocking you. He knows that so he deliberately does it. Yet it is a form of compulsive behavior because it is such a habit that he can't help it and may not even have self control to stop it.

AJ_007 · Jul 13, 2009, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by zippit

opps posted too quick

let me ask does he make fun of alot of things like strangers on the street ect. if so he might just be the type of guy that likes to people watch and criticize and make fun of and its not the nicest way to be but lets face it we'er all guilty of making fun of someone.i would just ask him to leave family out of it,if he continues its a big time red flag

nopes... he's not that sarcastic kind... I have seen him being fair-minded when it comes to certain professional issues.
but hey, now I recollect, that he doesn't value/care much about his own friends or his relatives (but his parents)... Maybe daz y he doesn't think twice before making fun of ma kith n kins... and Like y'al suggested, am going to talk to him and try sorting it out.

thanks a ton!! You all have been a grt help :)

I wish · Jul 13, 2009, 06:34 AM

He just has some growing up to do. I'm sure if you continue to talk it out and show your displeasure, he will eventually get the hint.

Some people just take a bit more time to mature than others. Just keep in mind that communication is key!

roxypox · Jul 13, 2009, 08:02 AM

He does seem immature and disrespectful.

Like I Wish said: Communication really is the key . If you don't like this behavior tell him, and if this is a really big negative for you... then it might be a good idea to sit down and say so... even if he hasn't just knocked your family.

my suggestion is that you can ask to talk to him about this since it bothers you.

1. high light the positives about him and your relationship

2. but there is one issue that really bothers you that you have mentioned on other occasions.

3. when you do this... it hurts my feelings.

of course this is just a suggetion!

my last boyfriend used to knock my family and friends all the time, the only person he never dissed was my sister. And it can be very hurtful and it is a very low and disrespectful thing to do.

Of course with my x there was no hope of him maturing at all, lol he was in general a lost cause for me. (at the age of 28 he is just self-invoved and unsympathetic in many ways.)

But that's not to say that there is no hope for your SO. ;)

best of luck!