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inturmoil · Jul 10, 2009, 04:28 AM

Hi, I'll tyr to keep this short.

15 yrs ago I had a long time best friend (friends for years before anything happened). I was 17 and very stupid. My best Friend started seeing my cousin. While seeing her we became closer than we had been and started seeing each other behind my cousins back (Not proud of that one). It was exciting and dangerous. I was single so didin't see that I was doing anything wrong. We saw each other in secret for 11months. My cousin then found out and the hit the fan. My family and her family were not talking all over me. I felt very guilty and stopped things with this guy. This is something I have always regretted. Everyone got over it. At this stage my ex best friend got back together with my cousin. I met someone else, he was a nice guy but I knew I could never feel the same for him as I did about the other guy. We had a family wedding coming up and I knew that my cousin and my ex friend would be there, so I asked this new guy along just to annoy them.

I was then going out with the new guy. I have never told anyone this but I was working evening shift at the time and was working late one night. On my way home I met my ex friend and he invited me to his flat. It was nice, talked for hours and I ended up sleeping with him. I then cooled things off with the new guy, just met him whenever. Well, this Saturday night I was driving and went out with the new guy, had sex with him and on the way home I, just by chance, me my ex and he asked me for a lift home (he was still with my cousin) one thing led to another and we slept together. I was covered in hicky's from my ex and had to pretend I was sick and stayed in bed for days. I was totally ashamed of myself. I avoided my ex. I started going out with the new guy. About six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I'm now 18, pregnant and don't know who the father is. I was scared. My partner automatically thought he was the dad and I didn't tell him any different. Am I a Skank? I was about 8 months pregnant and my ex then decided to ask if the baby was his, I said NO.

I had my baby and then a month later my cousin was pregnant with my ex's baby. I was crushed. My cousin and I now talk and our children are in the same class at school. I am now married to the new guy and we have 2 more children. I see my ex from time to time. We text. He is an was the love of my life. He told me last week that he still has feelings for me. What do I do with that?

I wish · Jul 10, 2009, 11:04 AM

Sounds like an extremely complicated story, but I'll help you simply it.

1) Your ex best friend is as cheater.

2) You are an accomplice in the cheating affair by going against your cousin's back.

3) You have a husband and a family.

4) Your ex best friend wants to go back to his old ways of being a cheater. But this time, he's asking you to cheat on your husband.

What do you think the best answer is?

Answer: Stay away from this cheater. Don't be a cheater yourself. Focus on your family.

I feel extremely sorry for your cousin. She is with a cheater. Then gives him a second chance and now he wants to mess things up again.

jolienoire · Jul 10, 2009, 11:15 AM

Been reading this story over and over again it doesn't make one bit of sense, Are you 18 now and pregnant, when did the other two kids come into play, You met up with the ex this Saturday and found out 6 weeks later you are pregnant? Post is not very clear.

Anyhow, in a nutshell your situation is nothing but lies.

jmooney527 · Jul 10, 2009, 11:54 AM

OH BOY.

I really don't even know what to say to this one. You've built your relationships on deception and lies first of all. Second of all you are thinking of ending your marriage with your husband because of someone who CHEATED on your cousin with you.

NO... NO NO NO NO NO. How much more damage can you do? This so called "relationship" with your ex best friend is nothing but toxicity and messes up everyone's life INCLUDING your own. AND to top it off, if you did this again now you would be messing up your CHILDREN'S lives.

If you are even remotely thinking about this "love" you have with this ex best friend, then you should end things with your current husband first. I feel bad enough for him already.

jolienoire · Jul 10, 2009, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by jmooney527

OH BOY.

I really don't even know what to say to this one. You've built your relationships on deception and lies first of all. Second of all you are thinking of ending your marriage with your husband because of someone who CHEATED on your cousin with you.

NO..... NO NO NO NO NO. How much more damage can you do? This so called "relationship" with your ex best friend is nothing but toxicity and messes up everyone's life INCLUDING your own. AND to top it off, if you did this again now you would be messing up your CHILDREN'S lives.

If you are even remotely thinking about this "love" you have with this ex best friend, then you should end things with your current husband first. I feel bad enough for him already.

I'm glad you understood this post, she doesn't even refer to her husband as her husband he in her eyes is the "new guy".

inturmoil · Jul 10, 2009, 01:53 PM

Jolienoire, Thanks for your words of wisdom. I'm now 33. My ex isn't with my cousin anymore and hasn't been for over 10 years. I referred to my husband as the new guy because I was trying to explain the story. And by the way I wish this situation was nothing but lies.

My ex through me when he revealed that he still loves me. I would NEVER cheat on my husband or children. Do none of you ever think of the one that got away or maybe think that your making such a HUGH sacrifice for the sake of peace, harmony and children.

makapuu · Jul 10, 2009, 03:39 PM

If you think you made a HUGE sacrifice, you are mistaken. You LIED. There is a difference. Your child and your cousin's child could be siblings. Do you think about that at all? Your affair tore the family apart 15 years ago, and you want to do it again?

inturmoil · Jul 10, 2009, 03:59 PM

I do realise that the children may be siblings. It haunts me every day. You get me wrong, I don't want to have an affair with my ex. Yes, I still love him and always will, he is my soulmate. The consequences are far too high and I have my own family now. That ship has truly sailed.
I would love to rekindle our friendship (thats all) We text each other a couple of times a week. Is there any harm in that? Am I being nieve?

ajGambino · Jul 10, 2009, 04:24 PM

Wow, get away from him. You still think about him because you've kept in touch all these years. You need to do it for the both of you, you don't seem too great with all the back stabbing moves and he seems like the source. You cannot rekindle a friendship with him, he is a snake. Can't you see his fangs by now? There is too much damage that will be done by simply keeping in touch with him.

You can make your own decisions right? Just move on from the whole situation. NC his @ss.

Oh, by the way, you should really see who the father is, don't do that to your kid, that's just horrid. Don't try to hide the truth because the consequences are great for YOU, this is your freakin' kid. He/She deserves to know.

COCADA · Jul 10, 2009, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by ajGambino

Just move on from the whole situation. NC his @ss.

.

Jajaja I love that, good one ajGambino

talaniman · Jul 10, 2009, 05:49 PM

Haven't you done enough damage? Hasn't there been enough drama, lies, and deceit, cheating and trauma?

Obviously not since your still friends with the cause of it all. You could easily be classified as a skank.

I would love to rekindle our friendship (thats all) We text each other a couple of times a week. Is there any harm in that? Am I being naïve?

Cut contact with the guy you makes you a skank, and make your family your focus, and end the confusion of whether you're a skank or not.

Yes your being very naïve, like your convincing yourself that this cheater is a friend. I guess that's how cheaters and the skanks they cheat with think.

So what are you? Someone who has made mistakes, but has changed? Or a skank, who was a skank, and still is?