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shinna · Jul 9, 2009, 09:20 AM

I'm a girl. I love my best friend so much. She is a girl too. I can't live without seeing her. But at times I feel the urge to be physically close to her. And undeniable urge to hug. I don't know why I feel that way. It's only to her. Not to any other girls. Am I a lesbian?

Justwantfair · Jul 9, 2009, 09:21 AM

How old are you?

xlilazndevilx · Jul 9, 2009, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by shinna

i'm a girl. i love my best friend so much. she is a girl too. i can't live without seeing her. but at times i feel the urge to be physically close to her. and undeniable urge to hug. i don't know why i feel that way. it's only to her. not to any other girls. am i a lesbian?

Well I think u are if u love her then yes srry...

jmooney527 · Jul 9, 2009, 09:23 AM

Only you can answer that question. Just because you want to be close and hug someone doesn't make you a lesbian. Do you think about your best friend in other ways (sexually)? If so, then you might be a lesbian... but then again only YOU can answer a question like that.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 9, 2009, 09:24 AM

If you want to have sex with other girls, yes, you may not find all desirable but you would find more than just one.

This sounds more like a close friendship that has went to almost a level of obsession if you can not stand to be apart.

N0help4u · Jul 9, 2009, 09:30 AM

I agree with jmooney if you can picture yourself actually having more than a big hug and kiss and actually going through with sex then you could be a lesbian but if you can't see yourself getting to the point of naked bodies next to each other then no you aren't. '

Also I wouldn't tell her that you feel this initimate about her because it could make her feel awkward and want to avoid you

Torrid13 · Jul 9, 2009, 10:43 AM

Eh, me and my best friend absolutely adore each other. We hug, and we would die for each other. We love being around each other, and we never grow tired of each other's company.

But we're completely straight. She has a boyfriend, and I seem to be progressing in a relationship with a guy.

Don't worry; I think feelings like that are normal. Unless, of course, you WANT to be a lesbian and then that's completely up to you. But if you're afraid you're "turning" into one or something, I wouldn't worry about it.

heretohelp411 · Jul 9, 2009, 11:08 AM

No this not make you a lesbian. It is perfectly normal to want to be close to someone you care about deeply even if they are of the same gender as you. I would like to personally apologize on behalf of our society that we live in an environment where the desire for a non sexual physical touch is so extraordinary that you would question your oreitation.

Kagan88 · Jul 9, 2009, 11:12 AM

I have a friend that is/was completely straight... and then her and her best friend got together she still claimed to be straight but totally in love with her best friend... the thought of being with other girls made her sick but for some reason she was in love with her best friend... after they finally broke up and went their own ways. She has never been with another girl in fact she is happily engaged to a very nice and attractive man.

pickandgrin · Oct 22, 2009, 05:38 PM

I wonder why we feel the need pigeonhole every feeling we have into this category or that. The best thing we can do with these feelings is to feel them and be whoever we are. The desire to place labels on ourselves or conform to a stereotype is often so strong that we end up denying our true selves for half a lifetime. But in the end, it all comes full circle. We would all do well to take the time for introspection and then follow our heart…for it is wiser than our years and our peers.

bjohnrupp · Oct 22, 2009, 05:48 PM

Yes I think you are. Have you ever thought about going down on her? If so then I would say you definitely are.

talaniman · Oct 24, 2009, 07:49 AM

I think your just really attached to a friend.

LN232 · Nov 28, 2010, 05:20 PM

Well I'm probably the only person answering that is a lesbian soooo haha yeah. I think the number one most helpful question for someone who may feel confused is "Can I see myself with (in this case) a woman for the rest of my life?". I don't really know how old you are but can you see yourself waking up in the arms of another girl everyday for the rest of your life? Moving in together? Getting married or joined? Going to your kids soccer games? Just try to imagine sharing your life with a girl. You need to figure out if you love this girl as a best friend or romanticly. Wanting to hug and be close to someone you care about doesn't make you a lesbian. But are you attracted to her?