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NallaNeedsYou · Jul 6, 2009, 04:12 PM

Threads merged for the whole story.

Ok... not like me to be talking about girls :P but hey... I have recently met a girl who is 14 (same as me) and she is really nice... like supper nice and I normally don't get on with people my age, especially girls :S so... I'm trying to do homework or watch TV... and I start thinking of her... I know when I'm in love (I hope) but its annoying really... I don't want to get hooked on a friend even though she is the nicest person I know. (apart from all you AMHD people!) I'm confused about what to do! Help :S I have never had a girlfriend and I'm not thinking about her like that, I hope... ohh jeez I'm a teenage boy who has no idea who he really is, what a kiss is like, the security of friends or the rollercoaster of girlfriends and frankly I'm completely lost :( I feel sick and my head is spinning, I don't know what to believe and I'm scared that if I speak to her again I'm going to send her running. Help much appreciated!

jenniepepsi · Jul 6, 2009, 04:14 PM

Sounds perfectly normal :) being 14 your emotions and hormones will not be balanced and 'normal' until after puberty. Which isn't until at least 21. If not later for some boys.

Take a deep breath and remmeber that its not the end of the world, and it will get easier with time, practice and the right girl.

TheOreeoShow · Jul 7, 2009, 08:32 AM

I heard someone say that if you're too scared to speak you lose the one chance you had to speak. Which means that if you don't speak you lost the chance with the person you loved the most they might have even liked you but, you blew it. What you need to do is talk to her about how you feel or you'll lose the one chance you are given.

TheOreeoShow · Jul 7, 2009, 08:33 AM

Just talk to her first and then build up the courage to ask her just don't be silent about it

ZoeMarie · Jul 7, 2009, 08:36 AM

ask her to watch TV or do homework with you. =)

raychi · Jul 7, 2009, 08:43 AM

Well, your in love, and take it from me you will always think about the person you like. But, if you are obsessed with her find out some way how she feels about you. And then, it's the typical teen mag answer, try and get with her. You need to think about how when it happens. And if it makes you feel any better, I've never kissed a boy, and I'm 13. So not far behind you.

someone27 · Jul 7, 2009, 09:14 AM

Hi! 1st I'd say, you really like this girl and it's mostly normal, what you're feeling. Since I'm no longer a teen, I'm going to have to say, when I was your age (sorry), I didn't really want a boyfriend either. I thought it was too much of a "rollercoaster" as you put it.
Have you thought about what would change between you and this girl if you were to tell her how you feel? Are you prepared to accept her as "just a friend" if she doesn't feel the same towards you?
It is a tough decision that has some negative outcomes but, how will you know if you never tried? Take your time, think it over, and the 1st answer is usually your best bet. Good Luck and don't stress, there's plenty of time for that in your 20's... lol.

jaimie02 · Jul 7, 2009, 12:50 PM

Well you definitely like her. A lot. And I know you're confused, but, as hard as it is, try not to over think the situation.

Just go with the flow. What happens, happens.

Just hang out, be a little flirty, and try to read her signs a little. Eventually, after you really know her, see what happens.

Maybe tell her how you feel. If she likes you, she might beat you to it.

Good luck and just relax. And take it from someone who knows, do NOT let it interfere with your school work. That just leads to many more issues.

NallaNeedsYou · Jul 8, 2009, 03:14 PM

OK so... I'm texting her and she says I'm cute and sweet... I'm not exactly obsessed with her, just a little out of my depth :) I don't want her to get hurt by putting her in an awkward situation. I want to love her :S but I don't want to be rejected so my emotions stay locked away. I'm barely friends with someone and I immediately want more than maybe I should. I feel pathetic that I can't just stay friends with someone after they show me some respect and kindness. I feel like I'm a user already! But I know I'm not... I'm so confused :( please... need help

J_9 · Jul 8, 2009, 03:20 PM

I know you feel like you are in love, but really, love comes with time. Love takes quite a long time to actually develop. At 14, you are infatuated. This is normal for someone your age.

AManWithNoName · Jul 9, 2009, 04:27 AM

Girl advice from someone who don't know diddley about girls, but has had a few girlfreinds
First, if a girl says your cute and what ever you allways, allways say something cute back, at the same time you got to be grateful, and throw in a compliment "awwww :P thank you! Your cute too"
2nd, all the confusion and anxiety, normal, its normal maan, nothing to be so worked up over, just play it cool, be subtle, ask her if she wants to hang out, but only after you get to the friendly mutual flirting, but don't get in the friend zone, because then shel think of you as her guy pal, and that... Well it absolutley sux if your trying to date her
Also, your 14, isn't love, your not falling in love, I don't even know what love feels like quite to its fullest, we all say we do, but wer young man, and stupid. Its puppy love. But if its gets to where she says she loves you, say "i love you too" but wait, there's a difference bettween love, and love with some girls and its, so if your texting her, and you flirt enough, but remember, it has to be mutualflirting, and she says " i luv you" either reply "aw, i luv you too" or "ily too" right , right!
Also, be cool, be confident, but don't look like a jerk, don't show off, and be yourself

Faiz03 · Jul 9, 2009, 06:15 AM

Just Happens at this age ! Because it happened for me too!! You just need not worry about it! Just be the way you are . And in the later stage of life u will just turn back and laugh! How funny !

Life is Short !
Live it Up!

NallaNeedsYou · Jul 11, 2009, 05:11 AM

Well... we are texting like crazy and then she stops for a little bit and I ask her why she stopped and then I realised that I had been texting her nonstop for the last 4 days and apologised. She said "yeh you need to leave me alone more - not cus i want u 2, jus cus its normal to and i can't afford it! lol xox" and... I'm a little stuck... did she feel like she was pushing herself past friends or did she feel I was being excessive? I can't bare the thuoght of losing her as a friend, I have just opnend up to sumone for once in my life and they have been really kind to me but here I am putting it all on a knife edge that is wobbling towards dispare :( I don't know how to set things straight again and if I lose her now its just going to make me more insecure and more reluctant to be outgoing and positive :( help! Everything is happening so quickly... I'm going to wait for my feelings but I need to sort this hicup out first :S

ZoeMarie · Jul 11, 2009, 12:10 PM

Just ease up on the texting a bit and see where it goes from there. I would ask her if she'd like to get together, study or whatever you want and see what she says. Texting is nice, but hanging out in person if you get the chance is way better.

AManWithNoName · Jul 11, 2009, 12:32 PM

Texting costs money
Not every one has unlimited

artlady · Jul 11, 2009, 01:44 PM

Be yourself! You are bright and funny and very mature for your age.
Be who you are and understand that she may be feeling the same confusion that you feel.
Relax and know that it is highly unlikely you are going to scare her off.
Let her set the pace if that is a major concern.
I think you will do just fine.

artlady · Jul 11, 2009, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou

well... we are texting like crazy and then she stops for a little bit and i ask her why she stopped and then i realised that i had been texting her nonstop for the last 4 days and apologised. she said "yeh you need to leave me alone more - not cus i want u 2, jus cus its normal to and i can't afford it! lol xox" and... im a little stuck... did she feel like she was pushing herself past friends or did she feel i was being excessive? i can't bare the thuoght of losing her as a friend, i have just opnend up to sumone for once in my life and they have been realy kind to me but here i am putting it all on a knife edge that is wobbling towards dispare :( i dont know how to set things straight again and if i lose her now its just going to make me more insecure and more reluctant to be outgoing and positive :( help!! everything is happening so quickly... im going to wait for my feelings but i need to sort this hicup out first :S

A good alternative to texting is AIM or an of the other chat /text services,provided she has Internet access of course.

NallaNeedsYou · Jul 12, 2009, 05:50 AM

She has MSN hotmail but she is on holiday at the moment... I hope your right Artlady, thank you for the support. I know she likes me as a friend, I'm sure of that and that is more than I anticipated, maybe I should just be thankful with what I have? She hasn't had a boyfriend, people have asked her out and she says some of them where nice people but she says she didn't really like any of the people that asked. She wants someone who is loyal and loves her lots... I can... but I'm lacking on the other things she hasn't mentioned like looks... maybe she doesn't care much about looks... :S please help I'm not sure to go forwards or back

redhed35 · Jul 12, 2009, 05:57 AM

You seem to be doing OK..
Just remember if she does not text back it could be she has no credit or her phone is being charged,don't assume the worst!

Let her enjoy her holiday,you could send a quick message saying hope you enjoy the holiday(unless you already have!).

Maybe when she gets back you could ask to hook up.. not a date.. just go out somewhere,going with a group of friends will help take the pressure off,and also you may get some feedback as to what she's thinking.

artlady · Jul 12, 2009, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou

She has MSN hotmail but she is on holiday at the moment... I hope your right Artlady, thankyou for the support. I know she likes me as a friend, im sure of that and that is more than i anticipated, maybe i should just be thankful with what i have? she hasnt had a boyfriend, people have asked her out and she says some of them where nice people but she says she didnt realy like any of the people that asked. She wants someone who is loyal and loves her lots... i can... but im lacking on the other things she hasnt mentioned like looks... maybe she doesnt care much about looks... :S please help im not sure to go forwards or back

I think you just need to let her set the pace a little bit.Tell her you are there if she wants to talk and just try to relax (I know ,easier said than done) and not look so much to what the future holds,no one can predict that.
Enjoy the friendship and see where it goes.