[NallaNeedsYou]

You are right! But now I need to be able to show her that I want to talk, I'm not pressuring and I'm always available to talk to in one text... Hmmmnn any ideas anyone? This has to be good and give her a feeling that I mean it sincerely and it has to be kind of sweet :S any suggestions? Thanks for the advice everyone! :)

[NallaNeedsYou]

And to Redhead... it could be a problem with the going in a group thing because one of the special things about me and Naomie is that she is well, my only real friend. She said she would like to go and see the new Harry Potter film and we had an idea to go surfing sometime in the holidays... she seems positive so I'm trying not to wreck what we have already got.

[NallaNeedsYou]

Ok. Sorry I couldn't wait... I have sent the text and now I'm just going to have to sit around and try to find something to do with myself. I'm embarrised to say that she has completely swamped my mind and I definantly need to rediscover a pass-time! I'm thinking something that keeps me fit and healthy... maybe cycling? Going in the right direction now :) thanks for the help everyone... no doubt I will be back again in 2 weeks (max :P) in a ditch that I just dug and watered! Be prepared :)

[HelpinHere]

I mostly agree with what jaimie and someone said. However, as I AM still a teen (technically =P).

I'd like to say, first off, congratulations, you are more mature than most of these fourteen year olds that say "i no 4 shure i LUV her, you lyeng to me 2 say i don LUV her!".
Second, like jaimie said, DO NOT let her distract you from your schoolwork. No matter what your hormones think, that is the most important thing in your life right now.
Third, sorry jaimie, but only dead fish go with the flow. If you like her, but are worried about having your first girlfriend (I know I was) then don't ask her to be your girlfriend. You can do something simple like start a group night for pizza/bowling/etc. (I did with karaoke, on Thursdays), just spend more time with her (and your other friends). When you get to know her more, you may decide if you actually like her as much as you think you do. Don't be afraid to ask her to something just the two of you. Not so much a date, but just to hang out alone.
Something may eventually become of it, but if you're not ready to have a girlfriend yet, you don't have to. However, if you really like this girl, there are plenty of things you can do together without having that kind of relationship. DON'T go with the flow, and ask her to be your girlfriend just because everyone else is hooking up, you only need to make the next move when you're ready.

PS: You do not need to post the same thread multiple times.
PPS: Oops... my comment on post #6 was supposed to say disagrees... balancer anyone?!

[NallaNeedsYou]

Thankfully I'm clever enough to day dream and do a good job with my Homework :) We are planning to go to the Cinema. So I'm thinking because its along way away I would go and meet her and get on the same bus as her... is this a good idea? :S when we get into town maybe go and get a drink at a nice coffe shop? I'm really new to the whole thing and I don't want to mess it up especially as she has lots of friends and is probably used to something that is 'normal'. We both bite our fingers because of stress etc and I was thinking of getting her a braclet or something to remind her not to? Too cheesy/forward? I could save it till the third time or something. I'm clueless :( any ideas?

[NallaNeedsYou]

Also I should add that when I say Girlfriend I mean it. Not like the stupid excusse 16 yr old boys takeing advantage use. But again entirely new to me. I haven't even had a meaningless hormonal relationship let alone one that I want to keep going. She says she looks for loyalty and compassion but I feel like there is also part of her, a natural part, that wants a guy that looks good and that is what's making things so much harder for me

[AManWithNoName]

Listen, school is important, kind of, just kidding its really important. But really what a lot of people don't realice is, so are relationships."How are relationships just as important Mr.noname? Enlighten me!" Well, sir, if you shut your trap and listen to my words, you may understand my logic, "cool Mr. Noname!" I thought I said shut your trap!
In order to understand where I'm coming from, you must be verry open minded. Ok, here goes. Dating, is like trying out what person you are most compatible with. See, as you date on and on, you date girls that are less like the last in some ways, and more like the last in others. Get it?

[NallaNeedsYou]

I understand the theory. But what do you actually do? What should we do when in town? We are watching a film, do I catch the bus? Or meet her there? Do we eat whilst we are there? :S

[NallaNeedsYou]

Threads merged, how about staying on one thread. (sorry, was needing some attention :()

Hmmmm. OK. There is this girl I have been chatting to for the last week or so. We where talking about films and we ended up talking about going to watch the new Harry Potter film. So now I'm looking at bus times and film times but there are a few things I'm not sure about. We have to go along way away to watch the film so I was wandering if I should get on the same bus as her and keep her company. Good idea? When we are there go to a café. Good idea? Watch the film in an expensive or cheap cinema? (im paying but I prefer quality). We will eat afterwards, again do we go to a burger bar or a nice pizza restaurant? I know some of these things are up to her but id like some feedback before I make myself look like an idiot. Im just really nervous and I want it to be nice. :( its my first thing like this, I don't go and watch films or hang out with 'friends' and I'm completely out of my depth before I'm even looking at her beautiful face and listening to her funny stories... blah help would be much appreciated! (sorry about all the questions!)

[danielnoahsmommy]

It would be a nice idea for you to meet with her and ride the same bus. Also it would be nice if you asked her what she would prefer to eat... and you choose the location .

[HistorianChick]

Yes, I definitely think you should ride the same bus. You could meet her at her bus stop and go from there.

I'm with you - there are several theatres where I live, all ranging from "$4 a ticket!" to $12 to the IMAX at a whopping $20. I'm a HUGE stickler for quality... and especially if you're on a first date, definitely take her to the nicer theatre. Not necessarily the "most" expensive, but the most comfortable one. The cheap ones are great for second dates, but probably not the first one.

If you buy popcorn and drinks (best movie food = large popcorn, bag of peanut M&M's. Pour M&M's into bag of popcorn!) at the movie, you will probably not be all that hungry afterwards... what about going for an ice cream or desert and coffee somewhere? Of course, she'll say that she's "not hungry" because most girls have this weird thing that they don't eat on dates! A slice of cake and a cup of nice coffee would be a great end to an evening - complimented by reviews and critiques of the movie!

Have fun!

[slapshot_oi]

Ya ride the same bus like a gentleman, treat her but don't spoil her. Above all, be decisive and stick to your decision.

And if you can see the movie in IMAX (I don't know if it's even released in that format), do it. I saw The Dark Knight in IMAX.

[danielnoahsmommy]

Nothing wrong with spoiling! Only start spoiling if you can afford it to continue.

[I wish]

You want a first date to be memorable. So definitely meet her at her bus stop and bus with her. IMAX sounds much better.

As for eating afterwards, why don't you ask her what she feels like eating right after the movie, in case she has a craving.

[jmw0713]

Ride on the same bus and spend a little extra on the tickets and food. That would be a good idea on the first date. For the most part, you get what you pay for. Quality over quantity.

I agree with everyone else on this. Make sure you don't come up short on cash!!

[kctiger]

Once again I am going to buck the trend on the whole "1st Date" issue. There seems to be this stigma that you have to unload on cash and impress who you are taking out... the whole first impression junk? Here are my thoughts:

1. First date isn't really a date in my eyes. It is a meeting. Treat it as such. INFORMAL, little pressure and casual is the way to go. Comfort over anything else.

2. If you two hit it off, then take her out in style, but don't break the bank for someone you barely know.

3. Less is better. What does that mean? The first date is about YOU! Can YOU entertain her as a person, do you interest her, do you act like a gentlemen?? That type of stuff. It isn't about what you can afford, but more or less doing the least amount of things requiring ubber bucks while at the same time being comfortable enough with yourself to show her a good time personality wise.

The first date is about the two of you finding out how much you can talk without boring the other. IF the first date goes well then by all means break the bank the next time, but I will NEVER break a bank on the first date without knowing whether we are even going to like each other...

Goes about confidence. I am confident enough to take a girl anywhere on the first date knowing that I can most often assure her of a good time! We tend to over exude on the first date, and that usually isn't who we really are. I don't see a point in picking an IMAX theater or taking her to a classy joint just yet. Make her laugh, smile and give plenty of eye contact, and also remember it is YOUR job to make her comfortable and open up. If you aren't feeling it after awhile, cut it short and be on your way. Easy enough!

[slapshot_oi]

nothing wrong with spoiling! Only start spoiling if you can afford it to continue.

That's the worst advice ever, to spoil is to try too hard and it can be insulting to some; it's a turn-off.

Money won't get you anywhere with a girl, but if she requires it... don't date her!.

EDIT: "Require" meaning she wants you to spoil her, for instance, if she expects you to treat her to dinner at a 5-star restaurant on the first date. My sister is like this, it was no surprise when her boyfriend broke up with her.

People are reading into this way too much. All you have to do is be a gentleman.

[jmw0713]

He doesn't have to "unload tons of cash", but he doesn't want to come off as a cheapskate either by coming up short on dough.

I think he has a great first date plan going.

Make sure you have fun. If you are having fun, she will too!

Like KC said, if things are not going well, don't be afraid to cut it short.

EDIT: Like slapshot said: Being a gentleman will ALWAYS get further than money. On the other hand, it's comforting to always be prepared as well!

[I wish]

Keep in mind that whatever you spend today, sets a standard for future dates. And if she judges you on the money that you spend, it will just make her a gold digger, which isn't what you want.

Slap makes a really good point. Nor matter how much money you spend on her, the most important part is how well you treat her and being a gentleman.

[danielnoahsmommy]

I never meant to sound like you need to over indulge her. It is very nice to give her flowers, for instance! He is young and I was not insinuating for him to spend a fortune. It was in regards to how slapshot wrote that comment of his.