[zippit]

This is a good op for anyone dealing with this situation
Mother / father son or daughter the pain is there
Hopeless mom has done an excellent job putting the feeling into words

[Jake2008]

Zippit, thank you. I did miss it.

I too, find much truth in the words of that poem, and can appreciate the pure love you put into it. It must have been very hard to write, and I'm so glad you took the time to do it. It really is heart wrenching.

Hopeless- you are fighting the good fight. I keep thinking that myself on the down days; it has been a rough couple of weeks actually. I've put in a formal complaint about some things I just cannot accept, so a new battle looms. But, the bottom line is the safety and well being of my daughter. Sometimes I just have to shake those cages and bring up the fact that they are dealing with a human being.

I don't know yet what the ultimate conclusion will be, I still have hope where nobody else seems to, maybe I'm right. Time will tell.

We have all been given a full plate that's for sure.

Thanks again Zip, and you Hopeless, if you don't mind, I'm going to copy that poem for a few individuals that might benefit from the wise words.

[zippit]

Can anyone tell me <or us> how you would handle this?
What do you do if he/she all of the sudden shows up at your door?
What do you do if/when you get that call
"hey mom,its me!"
Please!
I wish there was more input from others here
And I'm really disappointed that there isn't.

[zippit]

Zip

[Hopeless Mom]

Dear Jake-

I hope all works out with your latest battle.

The one consolation that no one can remove from us is the belief that we have done our best. Regardless of how others interpret your actions, I hope following your conscience gets you through!

There's an old saw that "no good deed goes unpunished." I've come to believe that with the increased "entitlement" concepts that have crept into society, the number of people who can recognize or appreciate a moral commitment is shrinking and therefore, the amount of negative backlash one faces grows proportionately.

It's a pity that it comes from our own.

As to the poem, if you think it can help anyone, I'd be honored that you use it.

Zip-

I've been concerned about the same issues you asked about.

If my son were to call my cell, I would likely let it go to voice mail and listen to his message before I would interact with him.

If I lived somewhere he could appear on my front porch, I'd hug him, and ask what he wants. What I would say to him would be totally dependent on what he said.

If he asked for something, I'd tell him I'd think about it and get back to him. I would do so and write him a letter telling him whether I'd go along with his request and why. Between you, me and the lampost, the likelihood of my son getting anything from me except love is very unlikely!

If there wasn't an apology, recognition or commitment in what he had to say, I would know that whatever he needed at the moment, that brought him to my door, was not borne of carring or love.

I can't imagine taking an apology at face value if there were a request attached.

HM

[zippit]

I feel the same in regards to a request
He is real stuborn so I dought it will happen that way I hope it doesn't because he will have to be in serious need I.E. the girlfriend kicks him to the curb,he lives with her family and has put everything into her.
My main goal at that point would be to develop a relationship where he fully understands what he has put me through and I would want to move slowly and make sure it never happens again.
At least once a week I have a dream with him in it,it was my real dream that him and I would work together either in our own company or something else and we did work a large wal-mart landscape job where I was foreman and he worked with me and it was great,I just want him to know I would rather have nothing than to let him bounce in and out at his leisure