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lindey_marie · Jul 3, 2009, 08:07 PM

My boyfriend has a good life. A loving family, a good paying job with a great future, and is the happiest person I know. I love that about him, and I'm so glad that someone I care so much about has a very good life.

But I'm starting to feel weird.

My family isn't what you'd call the closest of families. Actually we're not close at all. We're raised in a very strict religious family doesn't allow us to have friends outside the church. The general mood in the house is angry or depressed. We fight a lot. I hate it. There's a fight whenever we leave the house about what time we better be home at and that if they find out we're seeing people that we shouldn't be or doing things we shouldn't do we're done.

And I'm starting to feel strange. Whenever I hear my boyfriends family over the phone doing fun things and acting like a sweet family, it hurts. It hurts so much I just want to get off the phone. I cry about it a lot. It used to make me happy to hear them but now it's just plain depressing. I wish my family was like that so much. Actually I don't even wish that anymore I just want to be with him and his family. But my parents don't even know we're together, since I'm not allowed to date (I'm 17).

Oops I pressed enter too soon. I meant to say I need to stop feeling jealous about it because I feel it's selfish of me and I don't want to hurt him or our relationship. I'd appreciate any tips on making this situation better :)

Alty · Jul 3, 2009, 08:11 PM

All families are different, sadly not always different good.

We always want what we don't have.

Jealousy is also common, but why be jealous over something you can't change?

You're 17, soon you'll be an adult. Go to school, get a good education, go to college then get a great career, then build your own life, the way you want it to be.

This is just a short period of your life, you have the rest to look forward to.

none12345 · Jul 3, 2009, 08:28 PM

Out of curiousity, what religion is your family involved in that won't allow you to have friends outside the church?

Don't be jealous but be happy for him and that you have someone that cares for you. I know you might think he has the perfect family but the truth is that no one has a perfect family, and you're not seeing the times when they fight and he still has his problems in life like everyone else but doesn't mean he lets it get to him.

lindey_marie · Jul 3, 2009, 09:21 PM

We're just christian. My parents just take it all very seriously

Just Dahlia · Jul 3, 2009, 09:34 PM

Maybe your boyfriend can join your church youth group? Christians, I believe allow all of GODs children. :)

Then you won't be breaking any rules about 'no friends outside the church'

ZoeMarie · Jul 3, 2009, 09:47 PM

I know where you're coming from to an extent. My husband's family (mom, dad, brother an sisters) is really close. My mom and I were close, my brother too. But I've never been close to my dad. When my mom died I felt like all I had was my brother. When I first met my husband I couldn't believe all the things they did together. Things that I never got to do with my dad. I remember shortly after we started dating his parents invited me to breakfast with them and I went with. Then we did some shopping, got ice cream. We were all laughing and having a good time. I got back to his house and we were sitting in his room and I just cried. He asked me what was wrong and I remembered saying "so this is what family feels like?" I know it's s different situation all together but the concept is the same. We both wish our families were different. But think of it this way, one day you'll have your own family and you can do things the way you always wanted. Hang in there. Everything will be OK.

I do like the idea about inviting him to your church. You might want to think about that.

lindey_marie · Jul 3, 2009, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by Just Dahlia

Christians, I believe allow all of GODs children. :)

Yeah I know right? I'm going to use that one :cool:

talaniman · Jul 4, 2009, 12:51 PM

The grass always looks greener on the other side, but once you jump over the fence, you'll see that they just take care of theirs, more than you do yours.

Point being enjoy your own family, as life is to short not to. You will be grown, and gone, making your own life, and family soon.