Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    smilenlaugh's Avatar
    smilenlaugh Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Jul 3, 2009, 12:59 PM
    What should I expect after a second date and having known him for 5 weeks?
    Hi I have been chatting online and or via text with someone I met online for about 5 weeks now. We have gone out for dinner twice and things went well. Last week he sent me a message stating that he was watching his nephews that weekend but that he wanted to get together with me for a third date at some point that weekend.. well that never happened seeing as he went out with the kids on both days and when we chatted via text he never mentioned again about going out. He is someone who plays tennis and has practices and of course every Wednesday night is guy's night. Needless to say we may chat online 1 or if I'm lucky 2 times a week or just a few text messages via phone. I have asked him if he is still interested in me and if not to please just let me know so that we can both move on... of course he said he was but said that he wants to take things slow... I was shocked as seeing as I'm not moving fast at all. I'm not asking for a commitment... I just said that I thought the relationship/friendship would move forward not backward. See we started chatting online for about 2 weeks prior to our first date and those two weeks we chatted online at least 4 days a week. I don't know what I should expect from a guy after knowing him 5 weeks and after having 2 dates... I don't want to be on a back burner... I don't know if he is dating others and or whether he is keeping me on the side just in case? I just think that is someone is interested they will make the time to either see you or talk...

    Please help me...
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
    Vision Expert
    		  
    #2

    Jul 3, 2009, 03:56 PM
    Don't call him or text him or message him online for a week, if he contacts you he might just be a busy fella. If he doesn't, he's probably not interested.
    smilenlaugh's Avatar
    smilenlaugh Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #3

    Jul 3, 2009, 07:14 PM

    Thanks I will. I last spoke to him online on Tuesday and heard from him via email on Wednesday and as of right now I have not heard from him and I will not send him any communication unless he sends me first
    smilenlaugh's Avatar
    smilenlaugh Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #4

    Jul 3, 2009, 07:15 PM
    I just think that if someone really wants to see you they would. Seeing as its been 2 weeks since I last saw him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #5

    Jul 3, 2009, 07:17 PM

    Very obvious you would like another date, but he is busy, or whatever.

    Thats a very clear signal not to tie yourself down waiting for him. Enjoy other options, and opportunities, to do your thing, and enjoy yourself, as its not smart to wait for any one to make time for you.

    Why should you be available for someone who is not as available to you?

    Read my signature.
    smilenlaugh's Avatar
    smilenlaugh Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #6

    Jul 4, 2009, 08:30 AM

    Talaniman thank you so much for your words of wisdom. Sometimes we need to read/see the truth of what we need to do from someone else's eyes/words... thank you again.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member
    		  
    #7

    Jul 4, 2009, 08:40 AM
    Take back your power. The ball's in your court. If this sort of stalling or whatever you want to call it is acceptable to you, then fine. If not, then take the bull by the horns and put a stop to it, simply by telling yourself that this is not acceptable and move on, without worrying about what he feels or wants. You make the rules when it comes to deciding how you're going to let others treat you. Now my own personal gut reaction tells me that this guy's really not interested so I would back off. Now if I'm wrong then I'm sure he'll get back in touch with you and I'm sure he'll have gotten the message that he can't string you along - it's either all or nothing.
    smilenlaugh's Avatar
    smilenlaugh Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #8

    Jul 4, 2009, 08:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by s_cianci View Post
    Take back your power. The ball's in your court. If this sort of stalling or whatever you want to call it is acceptable to you, then fine. If not, then take the bull by the horns and put a stop to it, simply by telling yourself that this is not acceptable and move on, without worrying about what he feels or wants. You make the rules when it comes to deciding how you're going to let others treat you. Now my own personal gut reaction tells me that this guy's really not interested so I would back off. Now if I'm wrong then I'm sure he'll get back in touch with you and I'm sure he'll have gotten the message that he can't string you along - it's either all or nothing.


    Thank you S_cianci that is exactly what my gut tells me as well. That is why I asked him whether he's interested or not because it' s not fair to either one of us and he said yes he was but I think he's full of b---!:eek::eek:https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/images/smilies/eek.gif
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member
    		  
    #9

    Jul 4, 2009, 08:54 AM
    That is why I asked him whether he's interested or not because it' s not fair to either one of us and he said yes he was but I think he's full of b---!
    Probably. And he probably doesn't have the heart to come right out and tell you no, he's no longer interested. Consider it a kindness on his part, though misguided, that he wants to spare your feelings and move on.
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Received court summons in my door and have 2 weeks to court date [ 9 Answers ]

I received a summons on my door for a $5,000 debt to american express. Lawyer office is about 1 1/2 from my home... I am willing to pay the debt, do I have to show up for court? I am going to be out of town and won't be around on the court date... can I call the attorney's office and settle the...

Baby is 4`1/2 weeks in growth and I thought I was 6 weeks [ 14 Answers ]

Hello, I am a new wife of 6 months with an amazing husband... we recently in August had a miscarriage and now became pregnant again... here's the thing... My last period was on dec 22nd and I am NOT regular.. between 32-39 day cycles... I had an ultra sound today and it said my baby was only about...

26 weeks, 3 weeks behind in growth, dr's concerned. [ 7 Answers ]

My baby is now 26 weeks, but measures 23, the Dr.'s are very concerned and have brought up the possibility of having a skeletal disorder(dwarf) because she is behind on growth, we did an amnio and also blood tests which all came back fine. They have also not found any other abnormalities. Is this...

Shoplifing court date in 10 two weeks! [ 1 Answers ]

I am a 24 year old Chinese girl studying my Master in Ga. I got eating disorder one year before (I can't stop eating until it make me feel so bad that I have to use my hand to get the food out), and this is a mental illness to me since it makes me couldn't control myself when I am in this feeling....

Ladies: What do you expect from a guy on your first/second date? [ 22 Answers ]

... and what should he expect from you? I'm asking this question in relation to a thread I posted in the Relationship Section, but I'm just curious from a female's perspective as to what you all expect from a guy you just met on your first and/or second and third dates. Do you expect the guy...

View more questions Search