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louiseismyname · Apr 12, 2010, 06:53 AM

Just a quick update to say that I'm keeping to the NC and have not felt this good in ages. NC really does work wonders!! :0)

Im feeling more positive and no longer keep my mobile phone underneath my pillow at night waiting for that text or call from him (looking back that now sounds such a silly thing to do)

Im living proof that NC can be done and it WORKS :0)

amicon · Apr 13, 2010, 03:19 AM

Good-stick to it!

louiseismyname · Apr 13, 2010, 03:49 AM

Hi ami - hope you are well and enjoying the sunshine!!

Im doing well, and NC is working a treat, no longer am I pining for hin. Don't get me wrong I'm not 100% OK and think about him everyday but try and keep myself busy and hope NC will eventually allow me to think about him less and less.

I read a post that really helped me when you said something about "silence is dignity". That's what I'm trying to do, get my dignity back and not text or call him asking him why he treats me this badly or why he all of a sudden wants nothing to do with me. It does hurt that he has turned on me again all of a sudden but I'm trying not to let it hurt me this time. Like you said, he can only hurt me if I let him and I'm not letting him hurt me ever again. XXX

amicon · Apr 13, 2010, 04:07 AM

True-nobody can hurt our hearts-unless we let them.

Its all about h o w we handle our own emotions and how we choose to react when others treat us with disrespect.

(no sunshine here-drizzly rain.. . :-( )

louiseismyname · Apr 13, 2010, 04:20 AM

It hurts like hell that someone I loved and trusted could treat me this way but I'm not letting it get me down this time. I have one life and I can't waste it on someone that cares so little for my feelings and emotions. Its hard just switching your heart off but NC does help ad I'm getting there bit by bit. I do think of him every day and my heart aches when I think of the things he has said and done to me but il be OK and its made me a stronger person in a way

The sun has now officially gone in and the cloud has arrived :0(

amicon · Apr 13, 2010, 05:05 AM

Emotions can't be just switched off,but you will heal much more quickly when you go NC and stick to it.

Just see it as an investment in your future happiness.

And remember,all the loving words in the world are just that-words.

People prove their worth by their actions.

louiseismyname · May 10, 2010, 04:58 AM

Hi all - just thought id give you all an update!! After stupidly texting him for ages and receiving no reply which you all know about I found out yesterday he is back with his ex girlfriend. She is all loved up with him etc etc. I personally can't understand why she would have him back when approx a month ago he was telling me he loved me but hey ho.

Part of me considered telling her AGAIN what a low life he is and that he was trying to be with me up until a month ago until he blanked me AGAIN. Its funny how he cut off all contact with me the week he started seeing her. But the week before he was telling me he wanted a life with me??

Well like I said in the past I'm well over hin, not doubt il hear from him again when they have split up or had a row and he is bored, I'm not going to bother contacting her and telling her what a low life he is, sh has been told many times before but thinks people are lying to her and want to break her and him up!!

I don't understand why she would ant to be with someone when all through there 6 month relationship last year he was begging me to go back to him even asked me to marry him. She even saw the texts and still didn't believe it?? Well they say love is blind don't they. It took me long enough to learn but thankfully I have.

amicon · May 10, 2010, 09:39 AM

Don't worry about their comings and goings,just carry on with your life and let the past stay the past.

NC forever.

jmjoseph · May 10, 2010, 12:56 PM

Go enjoy your life. Don't give him the opportunity to "blank" you again.

Good luck to you.

louiseismyname · May 11, 2010, 06:48 AM

Thanks you both for you kind words, I'm going to keep on the path and try not to think of him and her together. She deserves all that will be coming to her when he cheats and lies to her once again.

I just can't understand why she would want to be with him when she was telling me last year that "i can have him, im fed up of his mind games" she even told me that I'm welcome to him as he can't be trusted!!

Very strange for her to say that and then jump back into bed with him at the first opportunity

amicon · May 11, 2010, 07:29 AM

Lou,it's a waste of time trying to understand people such as these-and it only stops you from moving on completely.

It doesn't matter what they do,think or feel,what matters is that you allow yourself to have the life you deserve-without them in it.

louiseismyname · May 11, 2010, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

Lou,it's a waste of time trying to understand people such as these-and it only stops you from moving on completely.

It doesnt matter what they do,think or feel,what matters is that you allow yourself to have the life you deserve-without them in it.

Thanks ami - why does it still just a little hurt that she is with him after all he has done to her behind her back??
I say this then in the next breathe I really don't care what they do as long as they both stay away from me. It does hurt a little how someone who said they loved me can move on or should I say go back again to this woman

amicon · May 11, 2010, 07:45 AM

That's why you should distract yourself and not think about them-you need to see how toxic the entire situation/relationship was and feel happy that he is not in your life anymore.

louiseismyname · May 11, 2010, 07:53 AM

I do ami - I know how toxic the relationship was to me, and I am glad that I'm out of it and don't have to be subject to his mind games and insults of him calling me a s**g, wh**e and a whole host of other names. He told me he loved me yet went off to be with someone else, so now I can see that it wasn't love that it was just him being a d**k and thinking with it as well!!

I try and keep myself busy and I'm doing well at it but I'm fed up of having to put a brave face on whilst they are out enjoying each other :0(

All I ever did was be there for him, even stupidly after he insults me and what am I left with... nothing but bitter memories and an aching heart somedays.

Il survive like Gloria Gaynor says, it just sucks that all I've done for him and the time I invested he chucks back in my face and walks into the sunset with the woman who I told that her man asked me too marry him :0(

amicon · May 11, 2010, 08:01 AM

Granted it sucks-but let it go,because if you have a serious think about it you will realise how unimportant it really is.

louiseismyname · May 11, 2010, 08:03 AM

Ami - why do you say its unimportant hun? Do you mean because they deserve each other, him because he is a liar and a cheat and her because she has been told time and time again about him but just won't listen and thinks that everybody is lying to her

amicon · May 11, 2010, 08:32 AM

Its unimportant as whatever they do or will do,or have done can't hurt you anymore-unless you you allow yourself to feel hurt.

When we move on,we come to realise that the ex has no power over us,unless we let them.

louiseismyname · May 11, 2010, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

Its unimportant as whatever they do or will do,or have done can't hurt you anymore-unless you you allow yourself to feel hurt.

When we move on,we come to realise that the ex has no power over us,unless we let them.

Very wise words, he can only hurt me if I let him and that will never ever happen again, I never want to feel the way I did back then. Il leave that for his girlfriend to suffer me thinks. Im looking forward to the future and what it holds, those two are very welcome to each other, he thinks he is gods gift to women and she thinks the sun shines out of his a$$ :D:D

talaniman · May 12, 2010, 06:10 AM

Actually its no longer your business, and would be well done with them both. You will never understand how some people tick, but for sure she has done nothing that you haven't done, so leave them alone. As you learned then someday so shall she.

We all learn at our own pace. I am really surprised you still dwell on this, as you say your over it.

roxypox · May 12, 2010, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

hi all - just thought id give you all an update !!! after stupidly texting him for ages and recieving no reply which you all know about i found out yesterday he is back with his ex gf. She is all loved up with him etc etc. I personally can't understand why she would have him back when approx a month ago he was telling me he loved me but hey ho.

Part of me considered telling her AGAIN what a low life he is and that he was trying to be with me up until a month ago until he blanked me AGAIN. Its funny how he cut off all contact with me the week he started seeing her. But the week before he was telling me he wanted a life with me ????

Well like i said in the past im well over hin, not doubt il hear from him again when they have split up or had a row and he is bored, im not going to bother contacting her and telling her what a low life he is, sh has been told many times before but thinks people are lying to her and want to break her and him up !!!!!

I dont understand why she would ant to be with someone when all throught there 6 month relationship last year he was begging me to go back to him even asked me to marry him. She even saw the texts and still didnt believe it ???? well they say love is blind dont they. It took me long enough to learn but thankfully I have.

I now that others already have addressed this... but let it go hon! Let go o it!

He is not your problem, she is not your problem and this is non of your business. Its time to edject yourself from the situation completely!

You got to let go of things you can't control and the love life of these two people are non of your problem and if she is setting herself up for heartache.. well quite frankly, that's her problem and her business.

You should focus on saving yourself and controlling and caring about yourself and things that are a part of your business and your life...

Best of luck! Keep going strong with NC (which also contains.. not listening to stuff about his life As I see it)

Roxy