Check out some similar questions!

louiseismyname · Jul 2, 2009, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Thats one good step that you took them off your facebook. You dont need to see it. Its not worth the hurt.

How could someone who says they love you and would die for you treat you this way? I just don't understand? Do you think he doesn't love me? I know they say actions speak louder than words.

88sunflower · Jul 2, 2009, 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

how could someone who says they love you and would die for you treat you this way? i just dont understand? do you think he doesnt love me? i know they say actions speak louder than words.

If he loved you he would not treat you this way. He is a player, a user, a loser. Leading you on. Don't fall for it. They are just words. Actions do speak louder then words and he is acting like an arse. Your stepping in the right direction staying away from him.

NeedKarma · Jul 2, 2009, 11:29 AM

How old are you Louise?

jolienoire · Jul 2, 2009, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

how could someone who says they love you and would die for you treat you this way? i just dont understand? do you think he doesnt love me? i know they say actions speak louder than words.

You are asking the wrong questions.
“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.
Anthony Robbins

Everything will change the only question is growing up or decaying.

slapshot_oi · Jul 2, 2009, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

how could someone who says they love you and would die for you treat you this way? i just dont understand? do you think he doesnt love me? i know they say actions speak louder than words.

I think it was Churchill who once said "People often say what they mean, but rarely mean what they say".

Your ex is a case in point.

louiseismyname · Jul 2, 2009, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

How old are you Louise?

I'm 31 needkarma

88sunflower · Jul 2, 2009, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

im 31 needkarma

31? For real? Your dealing with these childish games at 31? No offense please but I was thinking much younger. Leave him to his immaturity. You don't need that. Move on and find a man that can treat you like a woman and not a school girl. A man who knows what a relationship is.

louiseismyname · Jul 2, 2009, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

31? For real? Your dealing with these childish games at 31? No offense please but I was thinking much younger. Leave him to his immaturity. You dont need that. Move on and find a man that can treat you like a woman and not a school girl. A man who knows what a relationship is.

Sunflower thanks for the advice, I'm not moping around after this guy, I have my own house, a degree as well as a Masters. The ex lives at home at aged 30 (need I say more really!! ) I've got a good job, lots of friends the only thing that's screwing it up is the ex!! :(:(:(

I wish · Jul 2, 2009, 11:46 AM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

sunflower thanks for the advice, im not moping around after this guy, i have my own house, a degree as well as a Masters. The ex lives at home at aged 30 (need i say more really!!!) ive got a good job, lots of friends the only thing thats screwing it up is the ex !!!!! :(:(:(

If he's the only screwed up part of your life, then get rid of him. Block him out of your life.

talaniman · Jul 2, 2009, 11:53 AM

He has told my friend that he enjoys playing mind games and that he is good at it, I personally don't know what kind of person admits to that and is proud of that fact.

A dirty lowdown rat that likes to torture people.

I agree with the others, you need to erase him from your life. Totally ignore the fool.

88sunflower · Jul 2, 2009, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

sunflower thanks for the advice, im not moping around after this guy, i have my own house, a degree as well as a Masters. The ex lives at home at aged 30 (need i say more really!!!) ive got a good job, lots of friends the only thing thats screwing it up is the ex !!!!! :(:(:(

No no no no, the ex isn't screwing it up. He is screwing it up. You sound like you have your life together. Snap out of his little game and find someone on the same level as you.

louiseismyname · Jul 2, 2009, 11:59 AM

Is it possible to love someone so much but know that you will never be together because of there lies?

jolienoire · Jul 2, 2009, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

is it possible to love someone so much but know that you will never be together because of there lies?

There are endless possibilites if you act instead of react, every time he reaches out to you stop reacting, and start acting to not put yourself in an emotional rollercoaster.

Love him from a distant.

88sunflower · Jul 2, 2009, 12:07 PM

Originally Posted by louiseismyname

is it possible to love someone so much but know that you will never be together because of there lies?

You seem so insecure right now. Your emotionally dependent on him and its draining you. You need to have NC and stick it out.

57373 · Jul 2, 2009, 12:41 PM

Do yourself a favor,and when it gets hard,think of the girl he slept with,then came running to you after.

That is very F*** up.

And I've been in that position,but didn't realize it until after.

If he can do it to her,he can do it to you,how do you know you're the only one he ~loves~?

Get in contact with her if you need some support.

Get over the idle jealousy and lean on someone who understands (if possible)

88sunflower · Jul 2, 2009, 12:56 PM

If you do contact her for any reason, do it for your own closure and nothing else.

louiseismyname · Jul 3, 2009, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

If you do contact her for any reason, do it for your own closure and nothing else.

If I'm truthful I don't want to go and tell the girl about the lying scumbag she is with, he will think that I care enough to go and find her if I do!!
Its day 4 of no contact, its really really hard, but when I'm down I think of the time he slept with the girl he told me he was just mates with and I know I can do better than to be with someone like that.

sully123 · Jul 3, 2009, 03:24 PM

Louise think more of yourself than that. Who care who he sleeps with and who cares what he does. Forget him, your setting yourself up for hardache. You don't need this guy. He's a dishonest and he isn't worth your time.

Gemini54 · Jul 4, 2009, 12:19 AM

I would ask why you continue to 'love' someone that is clearly toxic and that consistently lies to you?

You sound as if some of your life is healthy and stable - you're an adult, not a teenager - so what is it about your connection to this person that keeps you in such pain and angst?

In your heart you know he's not worth your thoughts, time and affection. In your heart you know that even if you had him he wouldn't be trustworthy - why do you continue to obsess about him?

He's proven time after time that he's not to be trusted, he lies and he cheats - yet you still yearn for him. Why? What is it within you that keeps you connected to him?

Think a little more deeply about your motivation in staying connected to this person after such a long time. What is it within you that seeks this distress? If you can find the answer you may find it easier to literally erase him from your thoughts and your life.

louiseismyname · Jul 4, 2009, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by Gemini54

I would ask why you continue to 'love' someone that is clearly toxic and that consistently lies to you?

You sound as if some of your life is healthy and stable - you're an adult, not a teenager - so what is it about your connection to this person that keeps you in such pain and angst?

In your heart you know he's not worth your thoughts, time and affection. In your heart you know that even if you had him he wouldn't be trustworthy - why do you continue to obsess about him?

He's proven time after time that he's not to be trusted, he lies and he cheats - yet you still yearn for him. Why? What is it within you that keeps you connected to him?

Think a little more deeply about your motivation in staying connected to this person after such a long time. What is it within you that seeks this distress? If you can find the answer you may find it easier to literally erase him from your thoughts and your life.

I thought id give you all an update (I hope you don't mind). Its day 5 of no contact now, its been a lot easier than the previous times of NC as I think this time the nature of how he treats me has really hit home. Im not a little teenager that thinks I deserve this treatment, I'm a grown woman with my own house, nice car, good kob and lots of friends that knows she deserves better. But when he texts I go all weak and tell him that I love him too?? Im trying to be strong this time, I'm not even bothered anymore about him being with someone (at one point in time that thought would have killed my heart) so does this mean that I'm starting to heal and move on??

Im not sat around waiting for him, I'm living my life to the full, id never put my life on hold for anyone. Its like someone commented on here and I've said myself before, even if I did get back together with him (which won't happen) id just be constantley looking over my shoulder and wondering what lies he was telling me and that's not a healthy adult relationship. So why do I yern for him? Ive not got sky high confidence but then again my confidence is not that low, if I could understand why I yern for a guy that is no good for me then maybe I could snap out of this situation.

Any ideas of why I yern for this bad guy would be appreciated, that's for keeping with this thread, I really appreciate all your help and advice

Louise xx