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madb · Jun 30, 2009, 03:24 PM

Ok so my girlfriend and I have been absolute best friends and in love for 2 years. Everything was fine but we sometimes fought no big deal. We graduated from high school this month and I went on vacation for a week with my family. Came back and it was all fine. Last Monday night she told me out of nowhere she only likes me as a friend now and needs space. To make a long story short I have been a disaster. I lost my best friend and the love of my life. She says she still loves me as a best friend and misses me but wants to still be best friends. I think she also has a new boy in her life she met at work because she went to a bbq at his house a few days after but she says he is only a friend. She tells me she doesn't want me to feel pain and to move on in my life and if its meant to be its meant to be and we will get back together. I told her she needs her space because for like a year and a half she never has spent time with friends, just lived a life consumed with me. I went and talked to her 3 times since last Monday and she still says the same things. That she hasn't eaten all week and misses me but we need to move on and needs space and if its meant to be its meant to be. I talked to her on myspace and she told me she needs me in her life as a friend and I told her I need her to be my women or nothing. What do I do? I know I need to cut off contact and hopefully she goes crazy wondering what I'm doing because she is used to being with me 24/7 and comes back. Any advice or input is much appreciated, thank you.

Ashley_2011 · Jun 30, 2009, 03:28 PM

Honestly, I think she met someone new and is keeping you on the side, sounds like she is keeping you close just in case her new thing doesn't work... I know it will be hard but you should start trying to move on yourself

madb · Jun 30, 2009, 03:33 PM

I can't believe it though. The guy is 20 years old she is nothing like that. She is only 17

talaniman · Jun 30, 2009, 03:43 PM

She tells me she doesn't want me to feel pain and to move on in my life and if its meant to be its meant to be and we will get back together.

No more boyfriend/girlfriend that's over.

I went and talked to her 3 times since last Monday and she still says the same things. That she hasn't eaten all week and misses me but we need to move on and needs space and if its meant to be its meant to be. I talked to her on myspace and she told me she needs me in her life as a friend

Translation, friends or hit the bricks buddy! She doesn't want to be your woman

That means leave her alone, and do as she said... move on.

madb · Jun 30, 2009, 03:48 PM

Thanks for the honest answers. What is the chances she will come back if I don't talk to her at all? I know I need to move on she is ruining me. I will be out with buddies and when I wake up in the morning or if Im at work I start to think about her and get upset wondering why she would throw it all away out of nowhere. Hey friends are also my close friends and they think she is going crazy. She is acting weird and feels sick all day. Maybe she is just confused?

talaniman · Jun 30, 2009, 04:13 PM

Stop wondering guy and work to get your own life straight without her. No one can predict what someone else will do, no matter how bad you want them to do as you want. That's not how life works.

Whether she is confused or not, don't make it you who is confused. Leave her alone. Anything you do will make things worse. Sorry guy for your loss.

madb · Jun 30, 2009, 04:20 PM

Thanks for the advice you are so right. If she doesn't want this then she doesn't deserve me.

liz28 · Jun 30, 2009, 04:23 PM

She isn't confused--your just stuck denial.

She broke up with you because she doesn't want to be in a relatiosnship with you. She is young and wants to explore so right now respect her honesty.

Relationship comes with no guarantees and break-ups happens. You need to let go and accept it is over. I know break-ups sucks but life goes on. You can't make someone be with you.

madb · Jul 1, 2009, 01:06 AM

I started no contact today, only last hope. I can heal and get my together and hopefully she misses me and comes back, If not then I'll be strong and ready to keep going.

Romefalls19 · Jul 1, 2009, 05:28 AM

You're on the right path, do NC to heal, not to win her back

madb · Jul 1, 2009, 05:04 PM

She said she needs me in her life because we are so close and I said I can't be your friend only your man.She is still sick feeling and misses me deep down. She said she broke up with me because we don't feel like boyfriend and girlfriend anymore and finally has time to herself. Do I do here I'm so confused. She said she NEEDS me in her life, yet she said she needs time for herself. So if I NC for a while I'm guessing she will go crazy without me and come back. Also she broke up with me exactly 3 weeks before our 2 year anniversary. So she may come back before then. I didn't see this coming, she talked about our 2 year and how happy she is its coming.

Damn women confuse me ;(

paxe · Jul 1, 2009, 05:56 PM

More or less the same story as me... but my ex didn't come back. She just stringed me along until she was well enough to be without me. I am ready to bet she won't come back to you. You should move on as it is quite clear she doesn't want you back especially since she has been with that other guy.

madb · Jul 2, 2009, 06:46 PM

How long does nc last until they call?

liz28 · Jul 2, 2009, 07:20 PM

NC is for you not her. You can sit around and wait for her all you want but your only be holding on to false hope. She may never return to you.

You're the cause for your own confusion not her.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 2, 2009, 07:27 PM

Leave her alone. She may or may not come back. My guess is she won't.
NC is for you. Simply put, it is weaning yourself off her.
I wish you well.

madb · Jul 2, 2009, 08:29 PM

Dang I thought a lot of couples got back together... this sucks... NC is harder than hell!

Homegirl 50 · Jul 2, 2009, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by madb

dang I thought a lot of couples got back together....this sucks...NC is harder than hell!

Nope, you don't always get what you want. Sometimes people break up because they are not meant to be a couple. You guys spent too much time with each other, she sounded too emotionally dependent. Not a healthy relationship. You both need to breathe and grow.
Use this time to reflect and grow. Learn things about yourself, do things apart from her.

PeruvianBlaze · Jul 2, 2009, 09:24 PM

Dude NC is REALLY REALLY hard. I'm on day 2. I'm so depressed and heartbroken. But we just got to keep at it I guess...

paxe · Jul 3, 2009, 06:30 AM

Yea, that's what NC is about. It's hard in the beginning then it gets easier. Be patient and take care of yourself.

slapshot_oi · Jul 3, 2009, 06:40 AM

Originally Posted by madb

I think she also has a new boy in her life she met at work because she went to a bbq at his house a few days after but she says he is only a friend.

Biz Markie has a few words about that.

Your instincts are probably right, she found a new interest. You're both really young so this type of stuff is going to happen.

Stick to NC and after a few months you'll be good.