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jc2009 · Jun 28, 2009, 06:54 PM

I have been hanging out with this girl for about 3 or 4 months now we have a lot in common, I really like her and she really likes me the thing is she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend who broke up with her about 7 months ago, they were dating for about 2 years. I have really strong feelings for her but she is confused on what to do and doesn't want to commit to having another boyfriend yet. Her and her ex still talk every so often through texts but its just arguing. I am will to wait it out to see how it goes. Any suggestions on what to do?

JBeaucaire · Jun 28, 2009, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by ;jc2009

I am will to wait it out to see how it goes. Any suggestions on what to do?

Exactly what you said you would do, wait and see how she handles this.

Wouldn't it be much better to keep your eyes open in the mean time?

JoeCanada76 · Jun 28, 2009, 07:56 PM

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Exactly what you said you would do, wait and see how she handles this.

Wouldn't it be much better to keep your eyes open in the mean time?

Wish I could rate another answer.

She is not ready to have another boyfriend? Do not hang around waiting forever, and you never know somebody else might come along that does not have any hang ups to anyone from the past.

Be open, eyes open.

talaniman · Jun 29, 2009, 09:24 AM

No way do I keep hanging with someone who hasn't let go of the ex, worse yet they are still in contact?

Sorry guy, your really wasting your time, as there is a lot of other females out there who have no baggage from the exes, and are ready for the fun that you are.

Man that sucks to be stuck on someone like that, for that long, and still have made no progress.

CurrySexii17 · Jun 29, 2009, 01:37 PM

I think you should do what you said and wait it out just to see what happens. She just got out of a 2 year relationship and everything takes time. I don't think she's quite ready to open up yet so just give it some time it will work out.

jc2009 · Jun 29, 2009, 10:28 PM

Well there has been plenty of progress in a short period, she was really surprised at how much she likes me and became attached only about 1 or 2 months in. She has slept with only 2 people and I am one of them and she told me it takes a long time for anyone to get anywhere with her. It took her ex about 6 or 7 months before she gave him any action and we started fooling around only like 1 or 2 months in. But now she feels like she needs to step back which is totally understandable.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 30, 2009, 05:54 AM

Did you read any of the advice.?

jc2009 · Jun 30, 2009, 09:23 PM

Yes I did and I am processing it all so thanks :) I just like to hear what other people think and what they suggest but overall no matter what its my choice in the end, and I am will to wait for this girl. I've been pretty torn about the situation but the passed few days I have been feeling a lot better, maybe because I express all my feelings to her and I told her I'm will to wait even it turns out worst for me at least it will be worth the try.

N0help4u · Jul 1, 2009, 09:41 AM

Take it slow, be friends, don't get your expectations up and DO NOT put your life on hold.

slapshot_oi · Jul 1, 2009, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by jc2009

I am will to wait it out to see how it goes.

Bad idea.

The feelings for her ex-boyfriend won't disappear suddenly, as long as you to are together, she'll hold on to them. Tell her that it's clear she's not ready for a relationship and that you can't be waiting on the back-burner like this.

Originally Posted by jc2009

Well there has been plenty of progress in a short period of time, she was really surprised at how much she likes me and became attached only about 1 or 2 months in.

Ya that's actually not a good sign. Like talaniman says, relationships that move too fast will always crash and burn.

Jake2008 · Jul 1, 2009, 12:15 PM

It is important that you understand why it is necessary for this girl to have her space.

She is still contacting her 'ex' boyfriend. As long as there is contact, there is a relationship.

She knows what you want, which is a relationship. She is not ready, and you applying even the slightest pressure toward that goal will push her away even further.

You cannot go from one relationship, directly into the next, without thought, reflection, time, insight and learning. To go from the frying pay into the fire is only over-cooking your bacon.

She is not really available unless she has first of all, stopped contact with the 'ex', and gone a period without being with someone else. (you) Realize that she may think she needs a new and fresh start right away, but to do so isn't likely to be successful.

To get the best possible outcome you have to invest. You invest in respect, patience, understanding, and tolerance. You respect your own life, and get on with it, without waiting to pick up the pieces of someone else's life.

You have already planted a seed, just give it time, and let it grow on its own.

jc2009 · Jul 1, 2009, 10:25 PM

Wow thank you so much :( as ty as I feel you are all right. Over all I love this girl and maybe I am just pathetic but any space I put I feel loss, but its even harder cause we work at the same job. Sometimes I feel she just wants to hang out with her friends more that me who are pretty much all guys and if she senses a hit of jealously from she comforts me with a kiss or a touch. She knows how willing I am to be with her, should I tell we should take some space or should I just contact her less, bllah I hate this .

jc2009 · Jul 1, 2009, 10:26 PM

p.s. sorry for the mess I typed at the beginning of that last message haha