Check out some similar questions!

camron · Jun 27, 2009, 09:00 PM

Hello all,
Here is the situation I am in. So I knew this girl since middle school but hadn't seen her in over 6 years. I began speaking to her on Facebook and we ended up going out to dinner one night and having a greatttt time. During one of our discussions she mentioned she has a boyfriend. That sucked to hear but I had to keep the ball rolling so I played it cool. She has told me before that she has tried to break up with him and he wouldn't let her and also seems to always point out his flaws. While out to dinner I asked her if she would accompany me to a friends wedding as my date and she willing accepted the invite. We end up going to this wedding Im thinking "just as friends". We get some drinks in us and continually get more and more comfortable around each other until it got to a point where she was holding my hand while we were walking around and I had my arms wrapped around her while talking to people. We ended up back at my place where I had a gathering. As soon as we get there she is sitting on my countertop and pulls me between her legs and we began making out. She persisted to get more and more aggressive while kissing me and we were both getting really grabby with one another.;) I then was talking to friends for a bit and she decided that she was drunk and wanted to go home because she didn't know many people. I ended up having someone follow me to her house to give me a ride back so she didn't have to drive home drunk. We talked the next morning and were laughing about the previous night and she "claimed" she didn't remember anything after the wedding reception which I know she remembers kissing ( I don't care how drunk you are, when something like that happens you have memories). Anyway I invite her out to a friends pool party that day and she said she was too sick and couldn't get out of bed. We were still laughing at this point in the conversation. About an hour after getting off the phone I look at her Facebook status and it says she is going out of town to visit her boyfriend with a smiley face. Now my question is, how do I get this gorgeous girl to leave her boyfriend to be with me? I mean I am pretty sure I could get her to dump him but I want to make sure if she did that I had it secured and want to make it so she really wants to be with me. How do I pull something like that off? I really like this girl and always have. Don't get me wrong, I am not a person who can't get a date and doesn't ever have girlfriends to where I don't know how to pick them up. I am not desperate at all I just really like this girl and don't want to mess anything up. I have a few obstacles to overcome like her moving 3 hours away for grad school this August. So I need to make a move and make it happen quickly otherwise Im going to be upstream without a paddle. PLEASE help... I need intelligent expect advice. Thank You so much for any advice you may have!

snow124 · Jun 27, 2009, 09:35 PM

Why would you want to be with someone that would leave their boyfriend for you? What happens when she gets tired of you?

camron · Jun 27, 2009, 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by snow124

Why would you want to be with someone that would leave their boyfriend for you? What happens when she gets tired of you?

She is not the type of girl that would even do something like that. Before the guy she is with now, she was with another person for 5 years and was always faithful. The person she is with now was a rebound for her and I can tell she doesn't care for hime much. The only reason that I would even think about possibly considering a relationship with this person is because I know she isn't a cheater or a person that is quick to change boyfriends. We have ALWAYS had a connection and I think that's the only reason she acted the way she did.

Willrodg · Jun 27, 2009, 10:44 PM

If she likes to be faithful, why would you try and break that and try to take her away. If she doesn't like him she will break it off and then you can make your move. If she still wants to be faithful then let her and don't get in the way. Give her time.

-Will

none12345 · Jun 27, 2009, 11:28 PM

You don't.

Rule · Jun 27, 2009, 11:47 PM

She has to make that decision, not you. If she really wants to be with you she will. Otherwise tell her you would like to remain friends. It's easy to see when your looking into the boat...

StNerevar · Jun 28, 2009, 12:51 AM

If you don't want to mess anything up you should just let something happen instead of trying to make something happen. You did say that you're not desperate, so don't try so hard for this. It sounds like a hard to resist thing for you though, given your circumstances. You might just have to let things fall into place.

talaniman · Jun 28, 2009, 12:21 PM

The only reason that I would even think about possibly considering a relationship with this person is because I know she isn't a cheater or a person that is quick to change boyfriends.

What a hypocrite, she get drunk, and makes out with you, and your still pressuring her to be with you, and basically cheat on her boyfriend, because its with you. Hmm the very reasons you have talked about, is what you want her to do, for your own selfish goals.

We have ALWAYS had a connection and I think that's the only reason she acted the way she did.

Leave her alone dude, let her go, she will be gone out of your life any way soon, so plotting to overthrow her life for some very selfish reasons is unrealistic, and plain selfish of you.

Take her off that dumb a$$ pedestal you put her on, and see the reality of what your doing, trying to get something that is unavailable to you, at the risk of what you see good about her.

firefly07 · Jun 28, 2009, 12:42 PM

Dude... just tell her how you feel. Then take it from there

jmw0713 · Jun 29, 2009, 07:12 AM

Why go after a girl who is so willing to fool around with someone behind their back? That should tell you a lot about the type of person she is.

I mean I am pretty sure I could get her to dump him but I want to make sure if she did that I had it secured and want to make it so she really wants to be with me. How do I pull something like that off?

You don't. Why be a snake in the grass, and pressure someone to make someone else's life miserable for your own selfish need? My advice would be asking her current BF if you can date her. See how far that gets you. Oh... and tell him what you guys did together already.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a person who can't get a date and doesn't ever have girlfriends to where I don't know how to pick them up. I am not desperate at all

Well, why waste time with a girl is tied up with someone else??? Why don't you go out and pick up a girl who is currently SINGLE like you. If what you really want is a relationship, and not a piece of a--, then this would be a better foundation to form it on than trying to steal a girl from someone else.

I have a few obstacles to overcome like her moving 3 hours away for grad school this August.

LOL... first you would have to go through the crap and drama of breaking her up with her current BF. Then she is going to move away and you would be instantly stuck in a LDR?? LOL, that's way too much work and stress.

But if that's what you want, then go for it.

kctiger · Jun 29, 2009, 07:14 AM

As JMW has stated... just ask her boyfriend if you can date her. That is more manly than anything you have been doing. Wouldn't hurt you to show some sort of resemblance of having a back bone.

Romefalls19 · Jun 29, 2009, 08:01 AM

I agree with JMW, ask her boyfriend. I bet he'd be happy to let you take her off his hands

HistorianChick · Jun 29, 2009, 08:09 AM

She has a boyfriend. She is not available. Period.

I don't understand why people think it is OK to purposefully break up someone you claim to care about just to get with her. You're purposefully breaking her heart... because break ups ALWAYS hurt.

Trying to break up a relationship so that you can step in is the epitome of selfishness.

You don't get a girl that has a boyfriend. It's wrong.

SOCCERGAL · Jun 29, 2009, 12:14 PM

Omg this is like a fairytale. I think you should go after her if she is the one for you. Don't let her go. Well does she like her boyfriend if yes then try everything to tell her you are the better man for her. She won't get tired of you if she ever gets to like you. Ask her to go out with you sometime. Well right now you could send her flowers to her house. Have someone do it like a person on the street to knock on the door and then tell him to say these are for you from whoever your name is. Ummm ask her to go out with you before she leaves and talk maybe something will happen. Go to her house and tell her that you really like her more then anything in the world. Girls always like that. Well I would. If she doesn't change her mind well theni don't know. Call her everyday.

kctiger · Jun 29, 2009, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by SOCCERGAL

omg this is like a fairytale. I think you should go after her if she is the one for you. dont let her go. well does she like her boyfriend if yes then try everything to tell her you are the better man for her. she wont get tired of you if she ever gets to like you. ask her to go out with you sometime. well right now you could send her flowers to her house. have someone do it like a person on the street to knock on the door and then tell him to say these are for you from whoever your name is. ummm ask her to go out with you before she leaves and talk maybe something will happen. go to her house and tell her that you really like her more then anything in the world. Girls always like that. well i would. if she doesnt change her mind well theni dont know. call her everyday.

Your advice gets worse each time you post! It is obvious you aren't in summer school huh?

SOCCERGAL · Jun 29, 2009, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Your advice gets worse each time you post! It is obvious you aren't in summer school huh?

Wow thanks did u ever think that it is a miracle that someone meets up with a person before they leave. Maybe that person should be together. Wow u probably don't believe in miracles or god

kctiger · Jun 29, 2009, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by SOCCERGAL

wow thanks did u ever think that it is a miracle that someone meets up with a person before they leave. maybe that person should be together. wow u probably dont believe in miracles or god

Valid points... :cool:

Romefalls19 · Jun 29, 2009, 12:25 PM

Well played KC, well played

And as far as meeting up with someone before they leave. You bring up miracles and god. How about something I like to call MORALS? Or maybe it would be a miracle if someone had the guts to end a relationship before getting emotionally involved with someone else.

jmooney527 · Jun 29, 2009, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by SOCCERGAL

omg this is like a fairytale. I think you should go after her if she is the one for you. dont let her go. well does she like her boyfriend if yes then try everything to tell her you are the better man for her. she wont get tired of you if she ever gets to like you. ask her to go out with you sometime. well right now you could send her flowers to her house. have someone do it like a person on the street to knock on the door and then tell him to say these are for you from whoever your name is. ummm ask her to go out with you before she leaves and talk maybe something will happen. go to her house and tell her that you really like her more then anything in the world. Girls always like that. well i would. if she doesnt change her mind well theni dont know. call her everyday.

Haha I love the "well if she doesn't change her mind then call her everyday". YES, become a STALKER! What fairy tale is this from? I don't remember reading about the "Cheating Princess" when I was younger.

I strongly discourage you from taking this advice. From your original post and your response, it doesn't seem like you will end up taking any advice anyone is giving you on here. You don't see anything wrong with what you did and you think since she was faithful in a relationship before (which you don't know 100% if it's true). It doesn't matter... she's not faithful in the relationship she's in now... regardless whether she likes the guy or not. If she was a good person and didn't like this guy, then she would break things off with him and be single... but instead she's stringing him AND you along. I know there are extenuating circumstances but as a general rule you don't mess with someone who is already in a relationship... even if she acts like she doesn't like the guy.

If you think she's right for you or she will leave her boyfriend for you, then let her do that on her own... it's not your responsibility to encourage something like that. Let her go... if you need a reason then tell her it's because she has a boyfriend, you like her, and it's wrong to go on the way you did. It's obvious you can't really be friends with her because of what happened before.