[Debasheesh]

My daughter who is 14 years old and studying in std.ix is showing unusual interest in boys.she is talking over telephone with her boyfriends in spite of our refusal to do so.she is not paying any heed to our words although we are giving her good advice.Doing bad in the exam.Behaving rudely with everybody in home

[dawgsnkats]

Sounds like you have a teenager. Sexual cusiosity is natural in teens. Trying to stop curiosity is futile. Try educating her on sex and all the responsibilities and life altering things that happen when she engages in sex. Education/knowledge/curiosity isn't where the bad things happen with sex. The bad things happen when practicing starts. Especially if the practitioner is uneducated.

[JudyKayTee]

What do you consider to be unusual interest? I don't know that talking on the phone (for hours) with anyone (boys or girls) is terribly unusual at her age.

If she is not passing in school and otherwise disobedient, I don't see how that's related to unusual sexual interest - it seems to be a problem of bad behavior.

[Justwantfair]

When children are born they are completely dependent on us as parents.
As they age their need to be dependent on us lessens until the are only dependent on themselves, hopefully by the age of eighteen.
Adults and children have to work through that transition together.
You are dealing with a teenager, whose independence is growing.
Instead of forcing direction, now is the age of giving children's your suggestions on their behaviors.
Start suggesting instead of dictating to your child. There are still consequences for bad choice, but it shows your teenager that the choice is theirs.

Example: For the phone, purchase a cell phone that monitors minutes. She needs to now earn money to pay for those minutes on the phone. When there is a consequence to spending one night talking for hours to a boy and she is out of minutes for the rest of the month, then the consequence has taught her the lessen of how to value her time on the phone and use it appropriately.

Example: Suggest the type of grades that will make you happy as a parent, suggest homework time instead of talk time, if she is able to continue with acceptable grades there aren't consequences, if she can't limit her freedoms.

Example: Behaving rudely, suggest and acknowledge that you are not addressing her in such a fashion. If she continues then the conversation is done and she is left with limited freedoms for making a poor choice, but it's her choice. She will learn to be respectful if she wants to be treated as an adult.

Remember to reward the things that you approve while suggesting the things that you would like different.

As a growing child, she is looking for direction, not dictation.

Also sit down with her and open the dialogue about dating, sex, abstinence and protection. Start with a level you believe that she is ready for and open the door for further communication in the future.

Your child still needs your direction but in a different way then she needed it when she was younger. It's time to learn and grow together.

[Jake2008]

What does, "std.ix" mean?

[Alty]

Welcome to the teen years. It only goes down hill from here. ;)

[stevetcg]

What does, "std.ix" mean?

If I understand correctly, I believe it is essentially English as a Second Language for Hindi speakers.

EDIT: I do not understand correctly. It seems to be something of the sort of high school curriculum.

[danni_sweetie]

You honestly can't stop the curiosity. It sounds like you are being very close minded with her though.. maybe make it more open for discussion. Sex is meant for love and reproduction if you turn it into something that is bad or that shouldn't be talked about then she might want to experiment more given it's a big NO NO! Maybe try talking to her and tell her that if she has any questions to come to you this will allow her to possibly be more open with you. Which will help you form a better bond with her.
You just can't stop it though. It's just not something that can be stopped.
But make sure you tell her about all the life altering things that can come out of sex when people aren't ready or in the right time in their life.

Good luck!
Danielle

[JudyKayTee]

In the event the OP is NOT in the US, Canada or GB the morals and customs may be VERY different than what we are accustomed to - including arranged marriages at early ages.

I don't know if this is the case but it is something to be sensitive to.

[topkay]

At this stage of a child's life, she needs her parents to be her friend. First give her sound sexual education with practical examples. When she puts on certain irrational behavior, be calm and call her to order later. Show interest in her friends, male or female. Be very friendly with her and before you know it she will be so open to you and your corrections.

[Alyeska]

Maybe your daughter doesn't want to have sex yet, but you upset her by assuming that she does. Confronting her about sex embarrassed her, and now she's angry. Ask her about what she really wants to do with boys. Maybe she's just flirting so they like her, not asking them for sex.
But if your daughter talks about and researches sex a lot, ask her why she needs it, instead of saying "no sex" right away. I am 14, and I would be upset if my parents thought that I was a naughty sexually active little girl. I am not telling you to let your daughter to have sex, but don't yell at your daughter for her feelings. You can't control what she feels, but you cancontrol her actions. Give her more advice than confronting and babying her.