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    lauriem41's Avatar
    lauriem41 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 26, 2009, 01:14 AM
    what happened?
    I am 41 yr old, single woman, began dating a man who was @ that time 50, It was casual @ first, an then, as expected, progressed further over a period of 3 mo, he traveled for business, an suddenlly decided to date a woman living 18 hrs and in a different country, I was crushed, not because of a "long term cometment" but I felt we were going someplace great, and believed he felt the same. Of course it was a desaster, and he began persueing me again, after several failed attempts I gave in, and a month and a half later, on a business trip he runs into a gal he dated 16 yrs ago and is going to pursue the relationship long sense past, leaving me high and dry yet again. I just feel like I am a fool, but he tells me he values my friendship, should I ever even speak to this man again? Jokes on me right! NOT FUNNY! Please help!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Jun 26, 2009, 07:10 AM
    It sounds like he has broken hearts of women all over the place.

    I call men like this players. They play long enough until a better game happens somewhere else. Or so they think.

    He is really playing with you emotionally. You just start to get over him, and he dumps his current fling, and comes back to you, then repeats himself again.

    I don't think he wasted too much time recovering from his relationship with you- either time- where you were proably crushed.

    Recognize him for what he is. Not good relationship material, and not good friend material.

    Allow yourself time to get over him, and move onto a better relationship with a man you can trust.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 26, 2009, 08:20 AM

    There are 6 billion other people in this world, you don't need scum like him. Move on...
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Jun 26, 2009, 08:42 AM
    Let him go, if you keep accepting this behavior he will be in and out of your life as long as you let him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Jun 26, 2009, 08:52 AM

    We all make mistakes of the heart, hoping for better, it didn't work and it sucks, but don't beat yourself up about it, there is too much life yet to explore.

    Nothing wrong with taking a risk, and it doesn't work out, but learn the lessons you have gained through the experience, and don't repeat them.
    Ren6's Avatar
    Ren6 Posts: 539, Reputation: 121
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Jun 26, 2009, 09:19 AM
    You've learned something about this guy. As another poster pointed out, he's a "player". I would end all contact with him. You can do way better in romantic partners and friends.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Jun 27, 2009, 07:59 AM

    He's a player and he most likely wants to keep you on the side lines for when he isn't out on the field playing.
    He says you are friends. Maybe he wants friends, maybe even friends with benefits, and you are reading more into it because you look at it from a different perspective that puts more value into the relationship.
    See him for what he is. Don't expect him to ever go for you exclusively and don't let your guard down hoping for more.

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