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Jackie_Lynn · Jun 23, 2009, 07:12 PM

My wife and I take care of her mother and have for the last 5 years. I work and my wife does the actual home care with no assistance from two of her 3 sisters. The youngest sister comes twice a year for two weeks to give us a break. None of the sisters, (other than the youngest has offered) though pay anything for my wife's work and care that she has provided to her mom.

I don't want to sound frivolous, but we are living on just my income, which is not very much. We watch the other "sisters" (I will leave the youngest of the sisters out of the rest of this dialog, because it would be unfair to lump her in with the oldest two sisters), go off on vacations all over the country, and never have they asked to spell us or very rarely do they even come to visit.

It was brought to my attention that maybe we could apply for medicare for my wife's work in taking care of her mom, but the issue I would like to ask is does my wife have to be a licensed day care giver and does there have to be a doctors order requesting care.

Mom can do some things, but not a whole lot. My wife takes her to Doctor visits. Helps to pay bills, and cleans the house twice a week and does the weekly torture grocery visit, which is Mom's way of getting some time away from home. Other than this, she sits in her living/bedroom and reads the morning paper and watches TV.

Again, the question is, can my wife get paid for taking care of Mom at home? If anyone has the answer please let us know.

Thanks in advance

N0help4u · Jun 23, 2009, 07:18 PM

My neighbor gets paid for taking care of her boyfriend because he has health issues.
I can't remember what the program is called but I will get back to you when I remember.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 23, 2009, 07:35 PM

There are programs, but normally they will not pay family members, at least in our state you will have to work for a licensed agency.

smearcase · Jun 24, 2009, 09:12 AM

This link may shed some light on the issue.
Does Medicaid help pay for home care? Costs Of Home Care (Health & Wellbeing: Home Care)

jenniepepsi · Jun 24, 2009, 09:26 AM

My mom is getting paid here in Arizona for taking care of her mom. ALTHOUGH, I am NOT 100% sure it is her accuall mom. I believe its her adopted mom. Either way, I think it still applys.

Here in az you need to go through a training course, and you have to log EVERYTHING. 'how long you spend doing the landry for her, how long you spend fixing food for her, how long it takes to bathe her, put her to bed, ect' my mom said sometimes it does get annoying. But it is well worth it for the extra help at the end of the month. Its not MUCH, my mom gets maybe 500. Its either every 2 weeks or every month, either way, it helps

450donn · Jun 26, 2009, 09:59 AM

Your situation sounds exactly like ours. Except now both the wife and I are unemployed. Her Mom at 92 is starting to have lots of health issues. Hip replacement, cancer, you name it. We have never gotten one red cent from wife's siblings. Nor do we expect that when she does die that we will have more than two cents left over to rub together. This is not about what you are owed, or who says what. It is about doing the right thing for your family. Keep up the good work. If you need to vent or talk to someone in the same situation, feel free to PM me.