[Triund]

I was just wondering, that we are told to tie our knots with spouses who are believers. At the same time Paul tells to stay in marriage if you are married to a non-believer.

Help me to understand this, please.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, you are suppose to or should marry those that are Christians, it makes life easier and marriage better.

BUT if you did not listen to that advise, you can not divorce merely for that reason, and you are to stay married to a unbeliever if you married one against the advice of the church.
Paul would assume ( my opinion) that iife with a non beleiver would be harder so he wishes to tell them to stick with it, and not divroce even if you want to, just because of religion

[Tj3]

Ok, you are suppose to or should marry those that are Christians, it makes life easier and marriage better.

BUT if you did not listen to that advise, you can not divorce merely for that reason, and you are to stay married to a unbeliever if you married one against the advice of the church.
Paul would assume ( my opinion) that iife with a non beleiver would be harder so he wishes to tell them to stick with it, and not divroce even if you want to, just because of religion

Good answer.

I would only add that it is also possible for a person to be unequally yoked if one of the partners were to be saved after being married.

[jakester]

Great answers from both of you guys. Like you, Tj3, I would like to add one more thing.

Triund, to understand this we must try to understand the issues behind Paul's statements. Paul is exhorting a high view of the marriage commitment. If someone has not heeded Paul's instruction to not be unequally yoked, Paul's admonition would be to stay committed. One does not have God's blessing to later throw that person away because they do not share a faith in Christ. If it means that a person's relationship may not be a healthy one spiritually—by that I mean that the partners never share a commitment to Christ—that is a reality that the servant of God may have to endure in this life. But God can still teach his servant through this marriage how to love another person; how to be patient; how to be kind even to one who is an enemy of God. Fundamentally, God is interested in us becoming wiser and loving people who will one day inherit the kingdom of God. For this reason, if we marry someone who we know is not a believer, it is good for us to honor our commitment before God rather than forsake it because marriage is a commitment. Besides, it would be cruel and unloving to divorce someone for this reason and that is not honoring of God's character.

Another issue he's addressing is that which Tj3 mentioned: two people are married and one later comes to believe in Christ. Someone who is desiring to do the will of God may come to think that he or she is disobeying God by staying in the marriage since the other spouse does not believe the truth. Again, Paul's admonition is the same: stay married because it is good in the eyes of God to keep your commitment. The believing spouse is not sinning by staying married to the one who is disobedient to the truth.

Fundamentally, the spirit that Paul is addressing is contentment. Whatever station in life we find ourselves in, we must come to accept it from the hand of God. This is not easy to do but it is necessary for our sanctification that we learn to see our lives as from the hand of God and to say: “Father, not my will but your will be done.” To me, this is one of the most important pursuits of our lives: to be content with what God has given to us.

[arcura]

So far I agree with all the above who do provide very good answers.
Fred

[Triund]

Thanks friends, for getting this point cleared up.

I too felt that, even though wavelengths match, chemistry is at its best, curves and grooves in personalities fit in so well and relationship runs like a well oiled machine, yet it is not a smooth ride with a non believer. However, I have given up neither the hope nor the effort to bring that person to Lord Jesus. Lately I have realized that I am no body to change a person, it is to be done by Holy Spirit. Hence, I have started praying to Lord Jesus to let Holy Spirit work on that person. Let's see how long that person can resist from loving Lord Jesus.

[N0help4u]

Sort of like since you are already married to an unbeliever you stay with them. But after knowing not to marry an unbeliever you are to not marry one. Sort of like a grandfather clause.
Staying married trumphs getting divorced.

[jakester]

Thanks friends, for getting this point cleared up.

I too felt that, even though wavelengths match, chemistry is at its best, curves and grooves in personalities fit in so well and relationship runs like a well oiled machine, yet it is not a smooth ride with a non believer. However, I have given up neither the hope nor the effort to bring that person to Lord Jesus. Lately I have realized that I am no body to change a person, it is to be done by Holy Spirit. Hence, I have started praying to Lord Jesus to let Holy Spirit work on that person. Let's see how long that person can resist from loving Lord Jesus.

Triund - great perspective to have on the Spirit of God. I would add though, that a marriage between two believers does not run like a well-oiled machine... hardly. We are still struggling with sin in our relationships and marriages will still have hardships, you can be absolutely sure of that. In fact, Paul said that if you marry, know that you will have trouble.

It's important to grasp that because that is reality... marriage is not as it is portrayed in Disney films where two live happily ever after. That's a myth.

[Triund]

Triund - great perspective to have on the Spirit of God. ........
It's important to grasp that because that is reality...marriage is not as it is portrayed in Disney films where two live happily ever after. That's a myth.

I agree with you Jake. I am also aware that marriage is not a bed of roses. It is a walk on which both have to understand each other, nurture and support each other on all fronts of life. And a marriage might run into rough weather but would never be on rocks if the couple lay down the foundation of their relationship on faith on Lord Jesus.

[arcura]

I also agree with Jake.
Fred

[homesell]

Without trials and tribulation, we would never grow. Some of the most worthless human beings on earth are the ones that have been given everything their heart desires from the time they were born - they commonly end up as suicides. Just as we grow stronger physically by overcoming resistance(weights) we grow stronger emotionally, mentally, spiritually by overcoming resistance.

"The growing soul is watered best by tears of adversity" - Linus, from the comic strip 'Peanuts.'

[classyT]

Great answers from both of you guys. Like you, Tj3, I would like to add one more thing.

Triund, to understand this we must try to understand the issues behind Paul’s statements. Paul is exhorting a high view of the marriage commitment. If someone has not heeded Paul’s instruction to not be unequally yoked, Paul’s admonition would be to stay committed. One does not have God’s blessing to later throw that person away because they do not share a faith in Christ. If it means that a person’s relationship may not be a healthy one spiritually—by that I mean that the partners never share a commitment to Christ—that is a reality that the servant of God may have to endure in this life. But God can still teach his servant through this marriage how to love another person; how to be patient; how to be kind even to one who is an enemy of God. Fundamentally, God is interested in us becoming wiser and loving people who will one day inherit the kingdom of God. For this reason, if we marry someone who we know is not a believer, it is good for us to honor our commitment before God rather than forsake it because marriage is a commitment. Besides, it would be cruel and unloving to divorce someone for this reason and that is not honoring of God’s character.

Another issue he’s addressing is that which Tj3 mentioned: two people are married and one later comes to believe in Christ. Someone who is desiring to do the will of God may come to think that he or she is disobeying God by staying in the marriage since the other spouse does not believe the truth. Again, Paul’s admonition is the same: stay married because it is good in the eyes of God to keep your commitment. The believing spouse is not sinning by staying married to the one who is disobedient to the truth.

Fundamentally, the spirit that Paul is addressing is contentment. Whatever station in life we find ourselves in, we must come to accept it from the hand of God. This is not easy to do but it is necessary for our sanctification that we learn to see our lives as from the hand of God and to say: “Father, not my will but your will be done.” To me, this is one of the most important pursuits of our lives: to be content with what God has given to us.

Jake,

I logged onto amhd and asked a question because I was totally ticked off with my spouse and after I posted the question... I began browsing and THIS comment really hit me... HARD. I must choose to be content in hard circumstances and ones that I feel are not fair. Like many things in the Christian life... how we deal with our spouse ( equally or UN equally yoked) is a choice. No matter what or how my spouse behaves or even what my spouse believes is truth... I have a choice to do what I know to be right. (ugh! Errrrr sometimes I don't want to hear it) Jesus said... the truth will set us free. I heard someone say once... not the truth about someone else... but the TRUTH about ourselves! You don't know this.. but you answered my question.

[arcura]

homesell,
I agree with you about growth.
Some people do so well, others not well and some never seem to.
Fred

[jakester]

Jake,

I logged onto amhd and asked a question because I was totally ticked off with my spouse and after I posted the question... I began browsing and THIS comment really hit me...HARD. I must choose to be content in hard circumstances and ones that i feel are not fair. Like many things in the Christian life......how we deal with our spouse ( equally or UN equally yoked) is a choice. No matter what or how my spouse behaves or even what my spouse believes is truth ...I have a choice to do what i know to be right. (ugh! errrrr sometimes I don't want to hear it) Jesus said....the truth will set us free. I heard someone say once...not the truth about someone else...but the TRUTH about ourselves! You don't know this..but you answered my question.

T - I totally understand where you are coming from and empathize with you. None of these things are easy for us because they go contrary to our nature. As always, I admire your honesty and your commitment to the truth.

[s_cianci]

The scriptures admonish us to "be not unequally yoked with non-believers..." . As you know, that means that you should only marry someone who, like yourself, is a god-fearing believer in the blood of Jesus Christ and who lives their life accordingly. But, obviously that doesn't always happen. Sometimes believers marry non-believers, sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly. The point that Paul makes is that simply being married to a non-believer is not grounds for ending the marriage "...if (s)he be pleased to dwell with him/her..." [edited for brevity]. This goes on the presumption that both spouses are being faithful to one another in the ordinary sense. Also, and this is just my opinion, Paul is giving the believing spouse the benefit of the doubt in that (s)he unknowingly married a non-believer, i.e. (s)he married a non-believer but thought him/her to be a believer.

[arcura]

s_cianci,
I think you are very right about that.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

[boymama]

A Christian can only marry another Christian (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

In (1 Corinthians 7:12-13), Paul advising people who were married as unbelievers but latter one of the spouse were saved.

OT or the NT never condones believers to be married to unbelievers.