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guesswhoiam · Jun 22, 2009, 10:51 AM

Moved to its own thread

Well, folks I am not having any luck with carrying on my longtime friendships.. I seem to just shut people off. My closest girlfriend of 25 yrs just seems to be so shallow and self centered... it has to all be about her... so I have cut her off... our personalities are clashing big time. I just wish I could find a good girlfriend where we can go shopping, chit chat on the phone... you know the usual girlfriend stuff. I am happily married to a wondeful man for 5yrs. So I am completely fulfilled in that soul-mate department... just missing that good girlfriend part of my life. Any advice?

talaniman · Jun 22, 2009, 11:09 AM

Hobbies, activities, clubs, social groups, VOLUNTEERING, church, are really great places to meet people, and start new healthy relationships, and have good clean fun with other adults. Do you work??

teastalk · Jun 22, 2009, 04:15 PM

To have good long term platonic relationships you must upkeep it. Just like your romantic relationships. Call them occasionally, suggest to go out to eat lunch, ask to go on a double date, send them emails, give them souvenirs from your trips, ask them to go watch movies with you... etc.

bizygurl · Jun 22, 2009, 04:33 PM

Its tough sometimes finding a really good friend. Iv had many instances like that. But it happens, people can be the best of friends and then slowly grow apart, due to life changes, lifestyle, distances etc. Sometimes its painful when you realize a friendship isnt what it use to be. Just be yourself and you will attract the kind of friend(s) that your looking for. Sometimes you will find a really good friend without looking for it. good luck!

winding200 · Jun 23, 2009, 06:16 AM

guesswhoiam,

I agree with you that it is really hard find a good girl friend since we are getting older. I am happily married woman with successful career, and have a few but very best girl friends I can talk about anything (include my faults and issues). I met my girl friends at work, worked together for years, known each other by chatting & lunch things, and finally become really close soul-mate type friends when I had to go through crisis and needed help (I did not know askhelpdesk.com by then ha ha). I opened my heart, talked to the sincere girls with tears for help & advise (without pride), and they became my best friends. How lucky I am! However, I only have a few friends just like that.

How old are you? What are you interested in?
I am interested in salsa dancing class, writing class, shopping, well-being and traveling.

guesswhoiam · Jun 23, 2009, 06:42 AM

Winding200,
I am 42 yrs old... no salsa here (hehe) I can't dance. Even though I am from the Caribbean. Love to shop (cautiously though) I love the magazine shows on TV... like Dateline... also love the investigative type shows too. But just easy going... work hard.. has 1 daughter, and a 2 yr old grandaughter - LUV HER!! No kids with my current husband though.

guesswhoiam · Jun 23, 2009, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by bizygurl

Its tough sometimes finding a really good friend. Iv had many instances like that. But it happens, people can be the best of friends and then slowly grow apart, due to life changes, lifestyle, distances etc. Sometimes its painful when you realize a friendship isnt what it use to be. Just be yourself and you will attract the kind of friend(s) that your looking for. Sometimes you will find a really good friend without looking for it. good luck!

Yes I agree 100%. Good friends are hard to come by. As you get older your priorities change and a lot of times you just grow apart. Sometimes I connect with my High School friends on a social network... and I would see that they are still close with the girls that they were close with back then.. and I find that so wonderful. I just hope I find a wonderful friend when I least expect it... Im getting old :-)