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diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Yet another wrong path.

You are a far cry from ready to date and ready for us to encourage it.

Sorry to say, this time is about you. Believe me you haven't even met the woman(or more likely women) that will mean the most to you in the future. There are plenty of great girls out there, that are attractive as well.

Yeah you are right. The only reason I want another girl so bad is because its like a temporary fix to my problem, and that's not fair to the girl. Because even if I started dating someone else, the ex is still going to haunt me, and maybe even ruin the next relationship, and I don't want to do that to her. When you say find myself, what do you mean? Like how I was before I started dating that other girl or what?

Justwantfair · Jun 22, 2009, 02:25 PM

Learning to appreciate yourself for who you are, not who you are with someone else by your side.

Be single, find out about you again. This age is about learning and growing as a person.

liz28 · Jun 22, 2009, 02:26 PM

Your young and will have a lot of relationships before you actually settle down.

This girl wasn't a match for you and she had no respect for you nor the relationship.

So marriage should be the least thing on your mind when it comes to her.

Right now focus on finishing high school and let her go. Know that it is over and accept that. Don't worry about who she is dating or what she is doing with her life because after all it is her life. Worry only about yours.

I know break-ups sucks but you live and you learn. If anything you should have learnt something with this which is you deserve better and being with her was only bringing you down.

So your hurting right now but you need to know that we all have to forgive hurt at some point. And when I say forgive, it does not mean what they did was okay. It means that you are done hurting and are ready to move on.

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 02:34 PM

Liz28; Your young and will have a lot of relationships before you actually settle down.

Haha well isure hope your kidding haha, but anyway I know what your saying, I've already finished hishschool, so yeah. She is young too, and I think about it and she had no respect for me at all, she did what she wanted, She thinks she is just going to live life with no boundaries and I told her when we broke up that that isn't the way it works. God has boundaries and she is definitely went over those with him in her situation. What comes around goes around. She is the one going to have too suffer the consequences for those decision, not me. So that makes me feel a little better. Because she is definitely in the wrong this time no doubt about it.

Justwantfair · Jun 22, 2009, 02:40 PM

If you want to find the right woman to settle down with for life, as you don't sound like you want the dating and learning experience.

I highly suggest you take this opportunity to think strongly about what you can do to finish college in this transformation period. The good, smart, educated women that can offer you the most stable future will be easier to locate in college and with a college education, In my opinion. Also think about the military that can also give you a lot of confidence and direction for the future.

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 02:48 PM

Not much of a military guy, I've gave some thought into it, but its not something I want to do. I want to be a helicopter piolot but its like 85000 to go through just there one year program here in town. So I don't know.

talaniman · Jun 22, 2009, 02:50 PM

I think the first few weeks of a break up, are really the hardest, as the intense feelings make everything around you different, and hard to understand, so some time to let the shock wear off is needed.

Another thing that may help is getting the balance back in your life, by remembering what you were doing BEFORE hooking up with the ex partner.

Its always important to have friends and activities, and people, and places, that bring you joy, and happiness, without your partner. Geez, I'm sure you have friends or relatives you haven't seen. They don't have to know everything about your business, but will be glad to see you, or hear from you again.

Staying busy is the whole thing, and the advice about the stickies at the beginning of this forum, is a must read, and you will realize your not alone, and no reason to be lonely either.

There is a link in my signature.

Justwantfair · Jun 22, 2009, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by diezle21

not much of a military guy, ive gave some thought into it, but its not something i want to do. i want to be a helicopter piolot but its like 85000 to go through just there one year program here in town. so idk.

The military is a good way to help pay for college, it's just a suggestion.

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 02:57 PM

Yeah you are right and I have read the stickies, they make complete sense of what I'm going through, but as far as going back to what I did before I hooked up with my ex is hard because its like all my interest have gone away temporary because of this. BUt I do love talking to people and that's why I'm on here to talk to people. Because its like my place to vent.

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 03:11 PM

So I got to question, when a girl says that they want to spend the rest of there life with you and can't wait to get married, and how they are the luckiest girl to have you in there lifes and how they know they couldn't find another guy with your kind of heart... and a couple days later they don't want you they want another guy that is just the opposite of what she has told you. But she has justified in her own mind that it he is great and bla bla bla, what all does that mean?

sully123 · Jun 22, 2009, 03:19 PM

Please, as hard as it is, do you really want this girl after all she has done to you. That's not a person who is in love with you. Do yourself a favor and look for someone who you can trust and want to spend time with. I wouldn't waste another minute of your time on this girl. Sure it hurts, but you know something in the long run you will look back one day and say what was I thinking. You deserve better.

bigdee · Jun 22, 2009, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by diezle21

So i gotta question, when a girl says that they want to spend the rest of there life with you and can't wait to get married, and how they are the luckiest girl to have you in there lifes and how they know they couldnt find another guy with your kind of heart....... and a couple days later they dont want you they want another guy that is just the opposite of what she has told you. but she has justified in her own mind that it he is great and bla bla bla, what all does that mean?

It means that she had a change of heart. This happens a lot. Especially with emotional people (like your ex). If it didn't happen often, then we wouldn't see so many divorces, would we? Your situation is hardly unique. But I sympathize. I've been there. Like many others on this board.

liz28 · Jun 22, 2009, 03:29 PM

People lie and people do have a change of heart. You have to remember that the two of you are still young and I guarantee her words didn't match her actions. However you believe her because you let your feelings interfere with your common sense.

It is over and once you finish healing your going be shouting for joy that it is over too.

There is no sense in crying over spilled milk especially when you can buy another carton.

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by bigdee

It means that she had a change of heart. This happens a lot. Especially with emotional people (like your ex). If it didn't happen often, then we wouldn't see so many divorces, would we? Your situation is hardly unique. But I sympathize. I've been there. Like many others on this board.

Yeah for sure, like I know now what I got to do for me, but for some reason I like to think and hear that it isn't going to work with that other dude especailly going through a divorce, it makes me feel good inside. Haha I know its screwd up but yeah.

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

People lie and people do have a change of heart. You have to remember that the two of you are still young and I gurantee her words didn't match her actions. However you believe her because you let your feelings interfere with your common sense.

It is over and once you finish healing your going be shouting for joy that it is over too.

There is no sense in crying over spilled milk especially when you can buy another carton.

Yeah and I don't want to cry over it, but it makes me feel good to talk about her wrong doings you know? Especially after she went for a married man with a kid and isn't quite done with his divorce. You know?

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 03:41 PM

Originally Posted by diezle21

yeah and i dont want to cry over it, but it makes me feel good to talk about her wrong doings ya know? especially after she went for a married man with a kid and isnt quite done with his divorce. ya know?

Me and my friends down here kind of made it a game how long she was going to last because everyone thinks its so wrong and weird, so I kind of make a joke out of it here and there, as retarded as that sounds, but it makes me feel good when I can plainly see that she and him won't have any support.

bigdee · Jun 22, 2009, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by diezle21

me and my friends down here kinda made it a game how long she was gonna last because everyone thinks its so wrong and weird, so i kinda make a joke out of it here and there, as retarded as that sounds, but it makes me feel good when i can plainly see that she and him wont have any support.

Best just to let it completely go. That means not giving a crap what goes on in her life. Reveling in her downfall is not letting go. Best to try to cut out any information you get about her life. That is the best way to move on.

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by bigdee

Best just to let it completely go. That means not giving a crap what goes on in her life. Reveling in her downfall is not letting go. Best to try to cut out any information you get about her life. That is the best way to move on.

Yeah but as crazy as this sounds it helps me move on faster, when I hear people say that she is a dumb girl that is dating her cousin and its not going to work, makes me just that more excited to move on. I know it doesn't make sense, but it does help.

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 04:23 PM

Threads merged for the last time, any new ones on this subject will be deleted, stick with this one

Why does it feel good to talk about my ex's wrongs? You would think that it would hurt more, but as for me it feels good.

excon · Jun 22, 2009, 04:25 PM

Hello d:

Cause it makes you right. We ALL want to be right.

excon