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diezle21 · Jun 21, 2009, 10:36 PM

Threads merged, and edited.

Ok here is my situation, she cheated on me once and I took her back and forgave her, well not too long after that she started texting her unrelated cousin and it started to getting suspicious because she was talking to him all the time. She is 17 and he is 20 Ive poured into this girl like no other but she just spits in my face every time, and I want to fix things. I'm nothing like that other guy, like the opposite actually, me and her were engaged, but she cheated on me once, and was sneaky, then she came back, and I forgave her, and after a while here came the next guy, because she was hiding her phone, and it was making me mad because I couldn't trust her doing that. Well her and this other guy decided they were going to date, but he is going through a divorce, and he has a kid, and the mother of the kid doesn't even know that they are dating. She has already moved in with him, and I'm guessing sleeping with him, and that breaks my heart because I was ready to marry this girl.

What's going to happen? Do you think it will last long? Is she going to come back? Help, thanks

nikosmom · Jun 21, 2009, 10:41 PM

Did I miss something but what's an "unrelated cuzzin"? (Yes, I get that you mean 'cousin' but then that makes them related).

In a nutshell, it just sounds like you need to leave her alone. There's no way of saying if the relationship with them will work but it's doubtful. The cousin is dealing with a lot right now going through a divorce and is probably looking for companionship and she's convenient.

She will come back- after that fling has run its course. You should move on with your life and get as far away from this mess as possible.

diezle21 · Jun 21, 2009, 10:44 PM

Well like they are cuzzins by marrige, but that marrige was divoreced, so they have justified it in there own minds that its OK.

Wondergirl · Jun 21, 2009, 10:47 PM

Are they related by blood?

nikosmom · Jun 21, 2009, 10:49 PM

I stand by my original stance that you need to separate yourself from this mess. It will only bring drama into your life.

Wondergirl · Jun 21, 2009, 10:50 PM

Sounds like it has already...

Originally Posted by diezle21

they are or were cuzzins by marrige but that marrige was divoreced so idk what to think, its still weird

If they are not blood relations, and not CLOSE blood relations, there is no reason they can't marry, much less date. It doesn't sound like she's too into you any longer especially since you're giving her a real hard time.

diezle21 · Jun 21, 2009, 10:55 PM

So I have no hope of her ever coming back cuzz this guy is like the opposite of me, he is like half of an alcoholic, and high school drop out, and all this stuff that I wasn't, hurts me a lot to watch her do this:(

And I've admitted all my mistakes and we still talk here and again it just makes me sick, because we were engaged but she started being sneaky with her phone again and just puttin me through hell because I still love her no matter what.

nikosmom · Jun 21, 2009, 11:03 PM

She doesn't sound like she wants to be with you. Some girls are into the "bad boy" type (I'll never understand it). But you should go find someone that will appreciate you. You really shouldn't even consider reconciling with someone who is dumping you for someone else.

diezle21 · Jun 21, 2009, 11:07 PM

Yeah you are right, but this is so not right in gods eyes, she is already living with him and it kills me to think that she is sleeping with him, kills after she tells you that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you and that you are the best guy she has ever met, and never met anyone who has loved her anymore, because she wasn't just a piece of to me, she was so much more than that.

nikosmom · Jun 21, 2009, 11:13 PM

Well you have to let God deal with her on that, whether the situation is wrong.

Focus on you and getting yourself together so you can get past this.

diezle21 · Jun 21, 2009, 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Well you have to let God deal with her on that, whether the situation is wrong.

Focus on you and getting yourself together so you can get past this.

Do u think she will ever come back? For future reference

nikosmom · Jun 21, 2009, 11:22 PM

Sure she'll come back when that cousin is tired of her and moves on. She'll come back, use you until you make her feel better... then she will do the same thing to you again.

Seriously dude, a girl that cares about you will not treat you like this. She would not leave you for her cousin and move in with him in the blink of an eye. So her feelings (if she even has any) were never on the same level as yours.

diezle21 · Jun 21, 2009, 11:38 PM

Yeah your so right too, maybe it was at the moment, but not for long, why is it the thing I love I can't get, but the thing I can't get and love really isn't that great, I don't understand it at all. I hate it I wish I could just get rid of her and not think anything of it, but its not an easy process you know.

kctiger · Jun 22, 2009, 09:02 AM

Don't invite a snake back into your bed. Your ex is a complete slu*, and you deserve better. God willing, she is out of your life forever now!

As for you, get yourself together and bag some self preservation and pride as well. You were completely trashed by this girl and some self respect on your part is due.

You can't recycle trash like her, so the best thing to do is just to throw it away for good.

jmooney527 · Jun 22, 2009, 09:03 AM

Please rewrite this in a way we can understand. I have no idea what you are trying to say.

jmooney527 · Jun 22, 2009, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Don't invite a snake back into your bed. Your ex is a complete slu*, and you deserve better. God willing, she is out of your life forever now!

As for you, get yourself together and bag some self preservation and pride as well. You were completely trashed by this girl and some self respect on your part is due.

Apparently you understood it KC lol. Kudos.

Second that... don't get back together with someone who cheats on you... the trust is completely demolished and very difficult to rebuild.

jolienoire · Jun 22, 2009, 09:13 AM

Why on earth do you want her back? You don't trust her, she is unfaithful, and she left you. I think you need to work on yourself because there is something that suggest either you are in denial, insecure, or just unaware that this was not a healthy relationship, and why do you feel the need to make more out of it than it is.
As far as what is going to happen no one here can predict that. I strongly suggest you work on yourself and worry about getting yourself back, or come back down to reality and realize why would you ever want someone back in which they left you and cheated?

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 09:21 AM

You are right but I haven't quite grasped the concept of letting go, it hurts, because one day she wants to spend the rest of her life with me then all the sudden its done, over a cousin by marrige that has a kid and is going through a divorce. What's going to happen to her do you think?

jolienoire · Jun 22, 2009, 09:25 AM

IF someone wanted to spend the rest of their life with you they would do so, and again why would you ever want to marry someone like this? I know it hurts I wrote all about this if you check my link "how to get/him her back.

The only fix to this healing process, and I know it sounds cliché but time is the only thing that will heal you.
You need to forget about this woman, and believe me there is a woman out there who would want to marry you, love you and give you the upmost respect. Why settle for rocks when you can reach for the stars?

diezle21 · Jun 22, 2009, 09:30 AM

Well its even harder because she is my first relationship since 7th grade and those ones don't count, so yeah, so besides me what do u think is going to happen to her knowing a little bit of the situation.