[TravelBug]

I don't want to go into all the details because I would have a book on here. I'm sure it's happened to tons of people so I would like some input.

What do you do when you're torn between two guys?

[Alty]

Choose one.

[Fr_Chuck]

Or dump both,

If you are at point in your dating that you can't decide between two, then don't yet, there is no rules in dating that you can't date several people for a while till one stands out above the rest

[jjwoodhull]

I think that if you can't decide, then you do not like either one enough to be with him.

[Triysle]

You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone unless you want to be with that one person, and only that one person.

If you're torn between two right now, regardless of your circumstances, then you should not pursue either of them.

You probably won't listen, of course ;) But that's OK. Best of luck.

~ Tee

[TravelBug]

Not dating either of them, just really close friends with both. Both are aware of the other and the history I have with both.

Obviously if I commit to one and begin a romantic relationship then I'll stop. I'm being truthful with both, not sneaking around. And I say sleeping... but it's not always just sex but the little things like kissing, cuddling, etc.

Is there anything wrong with this? I feel like there should be but I'm not really sure. I've never really dated around before, I've been in relationships. So maybe that's why.

[diezle21]

Yes it is wrong because its like your cheating in a way. You need to choose one or get rid of both of them because your going to end up crushing someone's heart, and be involved with a bunch of unnecessary drama. Its not fair to the guys either and definitely not right in gods eyes.

[liz28]

If you're an adult and was upfront with the both of them than your not doing nothing wrong.

However, if you think it is wrong and can't commit to neither of them then you need to leave them both alone.

I mean how much longer do you plan on sleeping with the both of them? Of course they aren't going complaint becaose they are getting free sex with no strings attached.

[Justwantfair]

I agree with Liz28, it's your choice if you are in fact an adult... which I do question.

The only person you are cheating in this arrangement is you.

Now you are emotionally connected to both and it will be difficult to turn either one of these relationships into a trusting faithful relationship.

[artlady]

As long as everyone involved is being honest and can handle this emotionally than I see no problem with it.

To make a moral judgment,I would say,it isn't something I would do but I do not have to walk in your shoes.

I think you may get stuck in this type of comfortable position,its like having the best of both worlds.I am sure that both men answer some need in you.It may be difficult to give that up.

As long as everyone is honest and protected physically and mentally,go for it.

The fact that you ask the question is something to consider.Is there perhaps a part of your head that is telling you this is wrong? Listen to your inner voice,it rarely steers you wrong.

[liz28]

Yes it is wrong because its like your cheating in a way. You need to choose one or get rid of both of them because your going to end up crushing someones heart, and be involved with a bunch of uneccesary drama. Its not fair to the guys either and definetly not right in gods eyes.

I disagree with you. Both guys know about each other and agree with this set up she got going on. So if somebody gets hurt then they only got themselve to blame.

Also, God got nothing to do with this. I bet you had sex with your girlfriend and the two of aren't married so that act is wrong in God's eye too.

[diezle21]

I disagree with you. Both guys know about eachother and agree with this set up she got going on. So if somebody gets hurt then they only got themselve to blame.

Also, God got nothing to do with this. I bet you had sex with your girlfriend and the two of aren't married so that act is wrong in God's eye too.

yeah your right we did and I was wrong, but I am human, we all sin regardless, I'm not saying I'm any better at all, because I fail too.

[redhed35]

The thing is travelbug,the nature of women is we get emotional attached,particularly if we are having sex with a man.
To answer your question.. your a single women? Yes? As long as your protecting yourself there's nothing wrong with what your doing,if both men are also single..
You say your normally in a relationship,as this is not your usual thing..
If your still hurting from a previous relationship seeing these two men would only serve to cause you more hurt and self doubt..
BUT,on the other hand,if your footloose and fancy free,recovered from old hurts,as long as your being safe,why not?

[TravelBug]

I am 22 and consider myself quite mature. At times almost too much so for my age. Maybe this situation isn't the best example of that lol, but it's true so either believe it or don't.
I don't really think it will last long. And they're not these random guys either, I am good friends with both and care about both. The one I had dated for a few months and we remained friends. Him I hardly ever see due to distance because I moved away temporarily for school. I'm seeing him soon and it will be the first time in quite a few months. I can see something happening but how long this goes on for I guess depends on how the visit goes. I don't really see either one going into anything more then this and I say that because I don't want a relationship right now. I don't want to be attached to someone. I'm full time student and full time worker and that's my main focus right now.

[TravelBug]

And Redhead... I've been in 2 relationships. One was the guy previously mentioned, which was a more casual and laidback relationship. Ended simply because of distance and other things going on in our lives and we were both cool with it which is how we stayed friends. My 1st relationship was pretty deep and I did get hurt in the end but it's something I've gotten over. I don't regret it, I saw it as a learning experience. He was wrong for me and I'm glad I was able to see that after the heartbreak was over.

And thank you for the response. I understand how that can affect it to and it's something I'd like to be careful about, but I think I'm just feeling fancy and free for the time being.

[liz28]

Travelbug I must ask you what was the purpose of this question if your okay with it?

[liz28]

Now I am confused Travelbug because you stated you didn't want anything serious with these guy but on your other thread you stated you was torned between them? And in a love triangle? Which one is it?

I am glad both of your threads got merged. You can't fool us but in the end your only fooling yourself.

[talaniman]

I don't want a relationship right now. I don't want to be attached to someone. I'm full time student and full time worker and that's my main focus right now.

Casual dating is great as long as your not leading someone on, especially not yourself. Why confine it to these two? Broaden the horizons.

Now sex is a totally different thing.

[winding200]

I am shocked. How can a man or woman sleep with multiple people?? Are you guys really saying the word? My mind is attached with my body, and I cannot separate them. Am I too old fashioned and boring? Oh, boy...

[talaniman]

I am with you, but to each his own, I don't advocate sleeping around with muliple partners, or practicing unsafe sex. Never have... to many STD's.