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katehaffenden · Jun 20, 2009, 01:49 PM

My daughter is 15 and she has became very abusive and she has started to hit me in the last recent months.
Today she pulled my hair,punched me and through my glasses off my head because none off her friends waned to come out with us,so I took her home while I went out.I didn't really enjoy myself as I was thinking the whole what was she going to do when I get home?
I am a lone parent of two a boy 12 and my daughter and she is driving to the brink now,I just don't know what to do,please help me.

taoplr · Jun 20, 2009, 02:12 PM

In the end, you will have to set up boundaries for her and enforce them. It's normal for a 15 year old girl to test the boundaries of behavior, permission, dominance, and power, but it's not normal for things to get where you have let them get. Briefly stated, she's being a sh*t.

You are the parent. She is your child, not your friend. She is expected to grouse when you limit her liberties, but she must respect you and your authority and responsibility for her life. Right now, she doesn't.

Your situation is fixable. Get thee to a therapist who specializes in families with teenagers. If she will go with you, great. If not, go alone. Until you find the right one, watch some of those shows on TV that depict family situations like yours," Nanny 911" or something. You will get some good ideas. But absolutely get to a professional!

The problem is not in her. It is in the relationship you have with her. She's going nuts with being a 15 year-old and needs her Mama to establish reality, which you haven't been doing. To change this, you have to change within yourself. Be bold, courageous, and honest in the therapy and with her. If you don't it will get worse. If you do, everybody grows.

You can fix this.

Tao

PS: Where is her father? Is he a resource or an obstacle? What other resources do you have?

raychi · Jun 20, 2009, 02:13 PM

Tell her you are concerned for. Be nice and try and make her see that she needs help. Don't be too hard on her but talk it through.

caray0127 · Jul 1, 2009, 10:30 PM

Whoop her. You should never be scared of your child. You birth her. She didn't birth you. Don't ever let your children abuse you.

justcurious55 · Jul 1, 2009, 10:51 PM

I have to ask, how do you punish her? Do you enforce punishments? Did she go through something traumatic to bring on this behavior? The bottom line is, you are the parent. You make the rules, she follows them. But I feel like if we had more details we might be able to give you better advice on how to make that happen.

jaerochelle · Jul 1, 2009, 10:56 PM

Do you defend yourself?? I mean like hit her back?? She does it and will continue to do it because you allow her to. You need to gain back control of this relationship! YOU are the mother... not her! You deserve RESPECT... do what ever you have to do. Don't feel sorry for yourself put your foot down! I have to tell you if I would have attempted to to hit my mama... even now being a grown woman... she would whoop my a**!! Not advising you to do that, I'm just saying! But you need to stand your ground... If you feel threaten all the time you need to send her away... you should feel at peace in your home not wondering whether your child is going to hit you or not... excuse my language, but F*** being a friend you are her MOTHER!! Be firm, strong, confident, and don't put up with anymore of her BS!! Stand yo ground mama!! Good luck n god bless!!