[cynjrana]

I just don't know where to start... I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter and is getting very hard to raise her anymore. My mother in law lives with us and she makes it so difficult to raise my child. I know grandparents spoil, but this lady goes beyond to defy me and my way of raising my daughter. I have spoken to my husband on for many months now and all he tells me is that he's sick and tired of hearing me bi**h about the situation. I just don't know what to do anymore. I work full time so my mother in law looks after my daughter, obviously my daughter is close with her grandma because she spends the most time with her but to top it off my mother in law lets her get away with everything and anything. So here I am trying to reprimand my child and my daughter does the obvious and runs to grandma or grandma runs to her.

It has come to the point where my daughter doesn't even want to be with me anymore or spend any time because grandma lets her do everything. I cannot tell you how much it hurts me when my daughter chooses her grandma when she's hurt, sick or wants to play over me.

I keep praying that the situation would get better but it doesn't iit just gets worse. My husband doesn't even understand my pain. I feel like I have failed as a mother and that I'm losing my child to my mother in law. Sometimes I just want to leave because if I leave I know that my daughter would not miss me. I just don't know what to do.

[Jake2008]

Snap out of it!

YOU are the mother here! You are in charge of her childcare, and it is you (and your husband) who should be making decisions together about discipline, rules, schedules, etc.

You need to be heard, and this unhealthy relationship with your mother in law has to change. I suspect she can wind your husband around her little finger too.

Why does she have to live with you in the first place. She really seems to be a negative influence on both you, and your daughter.

Because your mother in law is 'family' does not give her power and control to raise your child without your instructions and guidance. It is NOT her child, it is yours!

Have you considered putting your daughter in daycare for a few days a week, or is it possible that you can cut your work hours to be home more. Would your husband consider counselling to address this issue?

It will, in my opinion, only get worse as she gets older, and that is really a disservice to her, because she will not have had sufficient or effective parenting when she starts school. School with consequently be very difficult for her.

You really need to put your foot down here.

[Wondergirl]

My sister-in-law allowed her mother to babysit her 2 y/o son while she worked full-time. The same thing happened. Bonnie decided to put her son into daycare and eventually was able to work from home. Thank goodness, they all didn't live under the same roof!