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jane667 · Jun 17, 2009, 04:36 AM

Been with my partner for 2yrs. He never wants sex about once every 6 months if I am lucky. I have told him it can't carry on he says he will change but never does. There is nothing physically wrong with him as he masturbates I am at my wits end its driving me mad. Any ideas or should I give up.

Romefalls19 · Jun 17, 2009, 05:08 AM

If you have already talked to him about it, maybe try talking again. This time not asking him to change, but maybe an underlying problem with him. Stress, work problems, a bunch of things could be going on at this point

kctiger · Jun 17, 2009, 05:51 AM

You have sex once every six months? I think my grandparents beat that. If it has been this way for two years, I am not sure that anything will change. Either live with it, or go.

ZoeMarie · Jun 17, 2009, 06:03 AM

Talk to him again. Maybe he should see a doctor. I couldn't go on like that. Is your relationship okay otherwise?

nikosmom · Jun 17, 2009, 06:08 AM

Aside from lack of sex, how is your relationship? Is he affectionate in other ways? Other than saying he'll change, what else he said when you talked to him?

For me, sex is an important part of a relationship so I couldn't imagine that it doesn't affect other areas of your relationship. I honestly don't think, no I know, I couldn't be with someone unwilling to want to be with me physically.

snow124 · Jun 17, 2009, 06:35 AM

Been in a situation where we only had sex once every 2 or 3 months, it's a painful situation to be in. Like everyone else said, talk to him about it and try to get to the bottom of it.

bigdee · Jun 17, 2009, 07:19 AM

How old is he? As I get older, I've noticed that I have a harder time maintaining an erection, hence I stayed away from sex a bit. It's not from any lack of desire. I visited a doctor and he suggested I try some drugs like viagra. It seemed to have helped.

jane667 · Jun 17, 2009, 07:30 AM

Originally Posted by bigdee

How old is he? As I get older, I've noticed that I have a harder time maintaining an erection, hence I stayed away from sex a bit. It's not from any lack of desire. I visited a doctor and he suggested I try some drugs like viagra. It seemed to have helped.

He is only 34. :confused:

jane667 · Jun 17, 2009, 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Aside from lack of sex, how is your relationship?? Is he affectionate in other ways? Other than saying he'll change, what else he said when you talked to him?

For me, sex is an important part of a relationship so I couldn't imagine that it doesn't affect other areas of your relationship. I honestly don't think, no I know, I couldn't be with someone unwilling to want to be with me physically.

Trouble being he is in my house and has no where else to go, so stuck.

spitvenom · Jun 17, 2009, 07:46 AM

So he won't have sex with you but he has no problem masturbating? Talk to him one more time if nothing changes then you have to make a decision if you want to stay like this or move on. I know you say he has no where to go but I fail to see how that is your problem.

I wish · Jun 17, 2009, 07:50 AM

If you've already confronted him about it and he lives with you, so I'm guessing you sleep on the same bed and there's no progress. I don't see why anything would change in the future.

nikosmom · Jun 17, 2009, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by jane667

trouble being he is in my house and has no where else to go, so stuck.

Spitvenom made a great point; the fact that he has nowhere else to go--why is that your problem? What you have is a roommate situation. You two live together, aren't having sex and are nothing more than friends.

I suggest you follow legal eviction proceedings to remove him from your home.

talaniman · Jun 17, 2009, 10:14 AM

You haven't answered the question of what the rest of the relationship is like.

Its been my experience that there are usually other problems to be addressed, when sex is not satisfying to both partners.

jmjoseph · Jun 17, 2009, 10:32 AM

Not once did you mention the word love. He masturbates in your house while you yearn? I say be done with him, he obviously doesn't respect you or care about your needs. Tell him to beat it... at someone else's house. Find someone who will take care of you. Ever wonder who he thinks about while he's doing the solo handshake? Good luck, GOD bless,and be strong.

jane667 · Jun 17, 2009, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Aside from lack of sex, how is your relationship?? Is he affectionate in other ways? Other than saying he'll change, what else he said when you talked to him?

For me, sex is an important part of a relationship so I couldn't imagine that it doesn't affect other areas of your relationship. I honestly don't think, no I know, I couldn't be with someone unwilling to want to be with me physically.

Its not that good. He stays in bed till he goes work at 3 in afternoon. Eats in bed, I sleep in the spare room. He also binge drinks twice a week.

nikosmom · Jun 17, 2009, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by jane667

its not that good. he stays in bed till he goes work at 3 in afternoon. eats in bed, i sleep in the spare room. he also binge drinks twice a week.

Then what are you holding onto? Not trying to be harsh... but I think it's obvious what you need to do. This situation is not fulfilling for you; emotionally or physically.