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KdT · Jun 16, 2009, 12:39 PM

My 17yo daughter was put into custody because of abandoment...

There is a lot of information with my daughter and if I have left anything out I will answer any questions.
Here is the history:

She has been in counseling since she was a child, about 10 years. She is a thief, serious and petty. She lies non stop and has had many diagnoses, currently written as NOS mood disorder but we were verbally told Boderline Personalty Disorder. They told us they couldn't give that as written because of her age.

After about 10 years with community counseling and 2 acute placements we went with MYPAC. We live in MS but they are based out of TN. MS had nothing left for us to use. They had to place her in respite care because of her aggresion and I refused to allow her to return until MYPAC could help her with her problems. While she was in respite care she posted pronographic pictures of herself on the web and texted them to some of her boyfriends. She also threatened to beat the foster mother, her grandchild, and her great grand child , and to walk out the door with her son. (My daughter has a 6mo child who is also now in custody but still with her)

I could not allow her to return because that would mean putting my other children at risk further because of her behaviors.

EX of her behaviors:

I went to a trift store and got a call from my son saying his sister had let a stranger in the house and he could see the boys naked butt jumping on her in her bed.

I was at the hospital because my father had an emergency surgery and I caught her on the road in my car (being stored because of lack of use)with no licsence, tags, or plates. She had left her younger brothers and sisters alone in the house while this was going on.

She stole from 2 family members all of which I repaid. She stole my nieces CS card and forged signature on it and also paid for cell phone service with it.

Before anyone asks WHY did I allow her to be alone with my other children, please look into Borderline Personality Disorder first. She goes through periods of appearing and acting well, then will change on a drop of a dime. All of this happened before we were told BPD by the Drs and before I knew what it was and what it does.

My question is, what is going to happen? The judge told me to get a lawyer but I cannot afford one. I have read that abandonment was a criminal charge, does that mean I can request an appointed lawyer?

Am I at risk for jail time, or losing my other children? Will this go on a permnent record for me? I used to work with children and have a degree for it, will this prohibit me from future employment?

Oh, and MYPAC is a service that tries to resolve problems in the home before residential treatment is sought. By them placing her in a residential facility, they would be proving their services don't work and they would lose funding. One of her counselors told me this after we were already into the program.

As I stated there is MUCH more to this but it would take forever to write it all so I will answer any questions to clear this up. I have also contacted a legal aid service and awaiting their return call.

Another question, I am currently a SAHM of 3 children and raising my niece. I tried to work for about five years but it never worked out because my 9yo son has a severe disabilty and I cannot find daycare suitable to his needs in our area, so I missed quite a bit of work to meet his needs. There was mention (and they gave a financial form) of paying the state CS for my daughter. Are they going to make my husband pay support to her seeing as he is not the biological father? Her bio father has only paid approx 30.00 support and hasn't seen her since she was 1mo old.

Thank you, if you got this far, and for your recommendations and answers...

ScottGem · Jun 16, 2009, 12:45 PM

Ok, let me understand this. You left your younger children in the care of your 17 yr old daughter who then left them without other adult supervision?
Is that correct?

She was then arrested for child abandonment? And now you are worried if you will also be so charged?

With your daughter's mental history, you may be in trouble for leaving them in her care. Child Abandonment is a criminal charge so you can get a Public Defender.

KdT · Jun 16, 2009, 01:08 PM

I knew this would be confusing, Sorry about that. No, she is not accused of abandonment, I am. Because I would not allow her back into our home. She was in respite care and nothing was being done to help her behaviors that placed her there in the first place. She actually got worse. I was concerned for the other children in my home because she was verbally and physically aggressive with them and involved my 11yo in lying for her and he was afraid of her so he did what she asked.

We had they the shelter hearing yesterday and are scheduled for another hearing in July.

When I was leaving her with my other children she had not been diagnosed with NOS mood disorder. She was ADD with possible mild BiPolar. I was told by her counselors I needed to give her more responcibility and involve her in more activities. It was discussed and incouraged by them to allow her to babysit for short periods.

ScottGem · Jun 16, 2009, 01:10 PM

Who are you accused of abandoning? Her or the younger kids?

jenniepepsi · Jun 16, 2009, 01:18 PM

Im not sure about any of the legal issues on this situation. I have boarder line personality disorder, and I would urge you to get her tested for Bi polar as well. Although I would understand if you simply cut all ties off with her.

Good luck hon.

KdT · Jun 16, 2009, 01:25 PM

I am accused of abandoning her because I wouldn't allow her to return home from respite care because her behaviors had gotten worse and they were the same behaviors that resulted in her needing respite care. I felt like they were wanting to return her to our home without proper treatment which in turn would have caused my other children to have been at risk.

She has been "tested" for just about everything but they will not give her a written diagnoses because she isn't over 18yo. Right now it is just NOS Mood Disorder which is a generic term that could imply anything from the least severe to the most severe.

I don't want to cut ties with her. I love her and my grandchild. I want her to receive the therapy she needs so she she can be healthy and a good mother to her son. Right now, I KNOW she isn't achieving this.

KdT · Jun 16, 2009, 07:07 PM

I called the court house earlier and I was told that there weren't any criminal charges against me and I would need a private lawyer. The next hearing is to present evidence to decide where the best placement for her will be. But I was told they have never heard of a residential placement being made in any of these types of hearings.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 16, 2009, 07:33 PM

Two separate issues CPS will decide what happens to the child, but they can turn it over for criminal charges if their board or hearing decides you did it.

I would have a lawyer the day they called and would not have told them a single word without talking to the lawyer first.

The CPS could decide if you are guilty to them, to take the other children from the home ( without having criminal charges) So this can be very serious.