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CocoChannel · Jun 11, 2009, 10:22 AM

Hi I am a 25 year old female. I believe I am heading towards being manic depressive. It all started a year ago when my boyfriend of 2 years decided to emiggrate to the UK because he believes there are better opportunities for a life together are there. He left 4 months ago. And I feel like I have nothing in my life that is worthwhile anymore. We are still in a long distance relationship. I am going to see him in the next 3 months which I will then be faced with the decision to move over myself to be with him.

The problems I am experiencing are within myself. I feel like I had the perfect life before he made his decision. I had a great job.. my family and I are extremely close, I had great friends and then I had him.. life was going the way I felt it should go... then I had bomb drop on me. In the preparation towards his departure I began preparing myself for worst case and best case scenarios... I thought I would be OK. But I am not... I feel like I have no life... I hate my job.. my relationships with family and friends are rapidly deteriorating and I feel so aggrevated that my boyfriend is on another continent! I don't know what to do.. I am so deep in this black hole that making simple decisions has become my worst nightmare.. I cannot handle stress nor can I handle any kind of disappointment... I am stuck in the middle of nowhere... Please help!!

NeedKarma · Jun 11, 2009, 10:32 AM

How did you go from loving your job and being close to your family and friends to hating your job and having relationships with family and friends are rapidly deteriorating? Just because a partner enters or exits your life it shouldn't affect those things.

CocoChannel · Jun 11, 2009, 10:45 AM

That is exactly what I thought! But I have become so isolated.. irritable.. and I feel extremely lonely. Even though I am surrounded by people who love me.. I still feel alone. How did I go from being so independent and strong to someone who can't even cope with every day life?. I feel there is something wrong with me mentally... I am pushing everyone away and all I want to do is be alone :(

justcurious55 · Jun 11, 2009, 10:49 AM

Have you tried talking to a therapist? You said that you feel there is something wrong with you mentally. You also mentioned you feel like your heading toward manic depression. You haven't said anything that sounds like what my understanding of manic depression is... but sometimes it just helps to talk to someone. You might even be suffering from regular depression (as opposed to manic).

CocoChannel · Jun 11, 2009, 10:54 AM

Yes I have seen a therapist... and I feel like she doesn't help... I want to talk to someone who will give opinions and perhaps some suggestions.. not just sit and listen to me...

Well I have always had normal ups and downs... but nothing ever like this... I can't even make decisions anymore! My mind is always running backwards and forwards..

I would even like a suggestion on how to handle this... I feel like I have nothing to wake up to in the mornings.. nothing to look forward to.. my life is boring and I suffer from jealousy. So many girls younger than me are having the life I have always dreamed of.. I can't even pin point the problem... that is how messed up I feel. I can't sleep, I don't have an appetite, I have no interest in anything, I have no hobbies... I have lost all optimisim.

justcurious55 · Jun 11, 2009, 11:11 AM

If you don't like the therapist you're seeing now, find a new one.

And here's some tough love for you... stop whining already. No one can fix you. You have to be willing to make changes. "my life is boring and i suffer from jealousy" make your life interesting then. You have no hobbies. Find some! And you suffer from jealousy? What does that even mean? Its normal for people to get jealous to some degree. But when you say you suffer from it I imagine you sitting there watching people looking for things to be jealous about. Stop thinking about what other people have. Find things in your own life to be happy about.
There's my suggestion on how to handle this. Hopefully I've inspired you to get out and go do something fun instead of upset you. Go take a dance class or a yoga class or something. Those always make me feel better.

NeedKarma · Jun 11, 2009, 11:17 AM

Just to reiterate what was said above, you'll never be happy with someone else unless you are happy with yourself. A man should not suddenly make your life interesting and stable, that's too much pressure on one person. A mate should integrate into your life nicely not completely take it over.

I've had 2 nice LDRs: Canada-UK and two provinces away (9 hours drive). When I wasn't with the person I was busy at home with sports, bars, family, etc. I ended marrying the girl from two provinces away - I moved there, there were very good logical reasons for me to do so.

Good luck!