Check out some similar questions!

Homegirl 50 · Jun 27, 2009, 06:26 AM

Then you continue to be his friend young lady.
Keep the friendship pure. But because he is popular as you say, when he gets in one of his "moods" and he may have them. Don't allow him to put you down in front of his "friends"
I wish you well young lady.

Melhoneybee · Jun 27, 2009, 06:30 AM

Thank you for your advice. Being truthful he doesn't get in moods, he just comes to me going "please, mel, help me, cheer me up, I need to speak to you". Thank you. Hes not the sort of person who would put you down in front of other people.

I just hope we can continue our friendship :) Thank you

Homegirl 50 · Jun 27, 2009, 06:36 AM

I hope things remain good for the two of you. Be careful that he does not become an emotional burden to you.
Just take my advice for any guy in the future. Don't ever become so enamored by anyone that you allow them to treat you in a disrespectful way.
You know who you are and you are a bright and sweet girl. Stay true to yourself.

Jake2008 · Jun 27, 2009, 06:56 AM

When I first started reading this I thought what's a 13 year old doing mixing it up with a 16 year old boy.

But, you are very mature as far as understanding what you are feeling, how you are interpreting your emotions, and how you are reading your friend. You sound like a really well adjusted kid to me, and I'd like to pat your parents on the back for their part in raising such a great kid.

Depression is one of those things that have symptoms and causes that you may not yet realize about him. If he has been diagnosed as clinically depressed and is being treated for it, then that is quite different then saying he's just a depressed person. An active, depressed person at age 16 is also coping in a different way with just growing up, which is hard enough to do without being depressed to start with.

You don't want a relationship with him as you've said, and that too shows maturity because you realize that doesn't fit right now. The key here is, he needs you.

It sounds like he's had problems long before he met you. I don't doubt that because he is highly artistic and creative that he is also more sensitive than those of us without talent, and as such, interesting and charismatic. The energy is different.

Watch for balance in this friendship. If you enjoy his company and still keep your natural ability to be practical and think critically, then why not enjoy him. He sounds fun and interesting to be around. On the other hand, when and if instinct tells you that it is unbalanced, and he is needing you far more than you are comfortable with, or that you are learning that he has problems far greater than you can help solve, then take a few steps back.

I don't get the impression that you feel the need to save him from himself, or rescue him emotionally which is also showing strength of character on your part.

Just be careful with how much time you invest in this relationship, and try not to become so involved with him that you lose sight of other friends and activities.

Melhoneybee · Jun 27, 2009, 07:17 AM

Thank you Jake2008 for this advice. I know, "Whats a 13 year old doing, mixing with a 16 year old" is what most people think. I even found myself saying it when I first met him.
Don't worry he's not my only friend. Although everyone sees me as a bit of a geek no one hates me and I don't any enemies. I do have friends my own age so Im not relying on him. And I suppose I have to have friends younger than him as I suppose my life is going to I don't know how to explain but, take a turn back to my old life when he leaves to go to unniversity. I know I will miss him but I can't stop him from going and I know he has to go develop his life further and I have to make continue my life and become a successful person. He's off in May 2010 so we shall have to make the most of our time together.
And don't bring yourself down! Of course you have talent! Everyone has a talent! We may not all make it famous but we can get somewhere with what little talent we have so don't go downgrading yourself with the statement those of us without talent.

Thank you for commenting on my maturity. Most people tell me I'm too sensible and never learn to have fun so the people I did confide in while not mentioning his emotional problems have told me to ask him out but as you know I will NOT be doing that.

Thank you for everything

Jake2008 · Jun 27, 2009, 07:25 AM

You're a good kid Mel, you'll be just fine.

As to my talent, well, I'll continue to sing in the shower while the dog howls! Lol :)

oxanalo0vex · Oct 11, 2009, 06:28 AM

I have the same thing my best friend,going on to 14 has a best friend who is 16 and he is adorable she introduced me to him nopt that long ago but you see I'm only 12 and he's 16 and I went roller skating with him and my friends and we shared an icee and we laughed with the whole group and then we all watched horror movie,I couldn't help but smile when he looked at me all night,it probably sounds foolish but I think I like him... alot, and my best friend knows so I feel for you and I want to tell him,but he's 16 and it would be weird and I know what kind of girls he likes,so good lluck mel, <3 :)

bloobloo1 · Oct 11, 2009, 06:30 AM

I have the same thing my best friend,going on to 14 has a best friend who is 16 and he is adorable she introduced me to him nopt that long ago but you see I'm only 12 and he's 16 and I went roller skating with him and my friends and we shared an icee and we laughed with the whole group and then we all watched horror movie,I couldn't help but smile when he looked at me all night,it probably sounds foolish but I think I like him... alot, and my best friend knows so I feel for you and I want to tell him,but he's 16 and it would be weird and I know what kind of girls he likes,so good lluck mel, <3 :)

Melhoneybee · Oct 11, 2009, 11:05 AM

Things have changed since I last wrote.
He's turned 17 now, and I'm still 13.
We have been talking a lot together, he tells me how special I make him feel, and how blessed he feels to know me.
I was singing at a concert on Friday, and he was in the audience, and he came up to me afterwards and went "That was really awesome Mel" and somehow I found myself in his arms, and we hugged for quite a long time... I thought I had managed to accept him as a friend but now I really don't know. Since that text he's never said he loves me, but he gets so close, or I feel he gets so close to it... I think I really do love him so much... Bother, No matter how I hard I try. We speak to each other a lot more, and I know we should only be friends. My feelings are starting to scare me.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 11, 2009, 05:35 PM

You need to keep this on a strictly friendly level. This guy is too old for you.
Does your mother know about your relationship with this young man?

Melhoneybee · Oct 12, 2009, 07:45 AM

I'm trying, I really am, to keep it on a strictly friendly level. But it's so hard. I know, that nothing should happen between us. The age gap between us, I know is too large. I really like him, though. No one else makes me feel this way. We've sort of found each other, and when we're together we feel so happy. But the thing that we both know is nothing is supposed to happen. So I don't think it will.
What does my mum know? My mum knows I am friends with him. She knows that we have each others phone number and she knows that I email him. She thinks it's fine. She trusts me. The school I go to is fee paying and the boys tend to be a lot more sensitive and more gentlemanly.
However what she doesn't know is, how much we text each other, how many times we ring each other up, how many times a day we see each other. The fact that he sent me a text saying he loved me or the fact that I spend most nights emailing hin. I don't know how she would react if she knew.
We've just auditioned for a play, and both of us have got in with really good parts. I guess I'll be seeing even more of him these days...

Homegirl 50 · Oct 12, 2009, 08:07 AM

I'm sure you mother would not like your constant contact and the fact that you both are betraying her trust.
You are a young girl with raging hormones and this guy makes you feel good, but he is old enough to know he needs to leave you alone. Knowing nothing should happen and making sure nothing happens are two different things. You guys are young, adults have problems in this area.
You two are playing a dangerous game. This texting and e-mailing half the night is not good.
13 is too young to be this involved with someone, especially someone his age.

Melhoneybee · Oct 13, 2009, 02:36 AM

I trust him. I trust him a lot. We're making sure nothing happens between us so we can stay friends.
So what do I do? Suddenly blank him and never speak to him again? That's not going to work. It will have an effect on me and him. I will become angry and upset with myself for hurting his feelings by not speaking to him. And he will wonder what he's done wrong. I like speaking to him. He makes everything that goes wrong in my life right. He's always there to support me and encourage me. I easily get unhappy, but since I've known him, I've always felt at ease.
Plus what do I do at these rehearsals for the play we are doing? We always have a conversation and a laugh together during them. If suddenly I turn up to one, and just stop speaking to him, how's it going to make him feel? Imagine how bad I will feel...
What do you think I should do then?

Homegirl 50 · Oct 13, 2009, 07:23 AM

He is a teenaged boy after all and one with emotional problems.
I'm not saying don't talk to him but since you two are determined to make sure nothing happens, do not have any time alone make sure you are always with a group.
He is going to be 18 before you are of age so you will really be a danger to him. (jail bait)
Cut out the talk of love all it does is add fuel.

Be careful with this young man.

Melhoneybee · Oct 13, 2009, 09:29 AM

All we want to be is good friends. And I'm trying hard to put my feelings behind me. Although, to me, the way you speak about him you make him sound like some predator, when in fact you've never met him, nor been to my school and realised how kind and considerate we all are there. But then I guess, your only showing concern and giving advice.
I guess I'll always be in a group, but I am one of the youngest members of this group, seeing as main characters have rehearsals separately.
We both know that the only thing we can share together is friendship. Apart from me being really young compared to him, I don't know how friendship will turn me into jail bait.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 13, 2009, 12:22 PM

I don't mean to make him seem a predator, but he is a 17 year old young man. Hormones!
You said he is telling you he loves you, which tells me there are feeling there.
If he loses control and acts on them once he is 18 and you're a minor, that is trouble for him.. He is old enough to know that.
You two need to be careful. Keep it friendly only. He is too old to be spending this much time with you and if your mom knew, I'm sure she would tell you the same thing.

Melhoneybee · Oct 13, 2009, 12:30 PM

I haven't said he is telling me he loves me. He has only said it once, while he was drunk and that's over 6 months ago now. He gets close to saying it, very close, but never says it.
Anyway, by the time he does turn 18, he has already left my school and is off to unniversity...

Homegirl 50 · Oct 13, 2009, 12:53 PM

Well him graduating and going away will be a good thing for both of you.
The getting drunk is another thing that can keep him from keeping his distance.
You just be careful.

Melhoneybee · Oct 13, 2009, 12:58 PM

Ok, thanks for the advice, I know at times I may have sounded like I've been questioning it, but I guess I'm just a defensive person. It's appreciated

Homegirl 50 · Oct 13, 2009, 01:07 PM

I'm only being "mom" giving you the same advice I would give my own daughter.
I care and want you to be happy and safe, to enjoy your childhood and hang on to your innocence as long as you can.
Let me know how things are going from time to time.
You are a sweet young lady, very respectful.
I wish you the best.