[Nicola1985]

Over Christmas 2003 my Dad was severely ill, comprising of mainly terrible halluciantions/delusions/hearing voices and paranoya. It was originally thought my doctors that he was suffering with schizophrenia. After consulting specialists on Boxing Day at a Mental Institute it was decided that he was not at all mentally ill and they sent him back to the hospital. Turned out that he actually had blood poisoning as his kidneys had not been working properly. After a week of him being very ill, he recovered.

As a family we had all noticed that the amount he drunk was rapidly increasing and it even got to the point where we had to ban alcohol in the house so he was hiding it in the wheelie bin outside and in the shed and behind trees up the road. We tried to help, but we could do nothing and he eventually ended up in hospital as mentioned above.

Several years on, he is still drinking but does try to stop,but all of a sudden after a maximum period of 5 weeks will begin to drink again. He admits that he drinks too much but can not stop and will not help himself.

For the past week he has been up every night, through out the night, keeping my mum awake with hallucinations which are mainly lots of people and children walking around the house and in the garden and he often says that they are arguing. Last night he could also smell burning and was insistent that every one got out of bed and checked the house over to ensure we were all safe.

He is psyhically sick every morning, often has blood from his backside and the halucinations seem to be getting worse again. I have tried to help but I really don't know what else I can do, he won't see the doctor and won't listen to us and I fear that if he carries on, he is going to get a lot worse and this will be the death of him.

Sorry about the essay, it is just so hard to explain without background knowledge. Is there anyway that as a family, we can help him. We constantly try to give him support and love, but it just doesn't seem enough and we think that he is seriously ill.

Please help me.

[Fr_Chuck]

While the actual alcohol may not be, the problems, (liver, kindey, weakened system) will be.

And it is not that he can't, but merely that he does not want to. And normally he has not hit rock bottom yet to decide to stop.

[valinors_sorrow]

Nicola, I am so sorry for the heart-breaking circumstances alcoholism is creating for your dad, your family and you. It is good that you all can love him for the sick man that he is.

What is happening to your dad at the moment could be wet brain or it could be something else more like what you all experienced when he went to the hospital. Without a medical professional examining him, its just too difficult to tell. If I may ask, why isn't he being seen by a doctor again? I would urge you to make that happen immediately.

Additionally, the only way I know to arrest alcoholism is to abstain from drinking completely. I hear you say he will not help himself but I am left wondering if your dad expresses an interest in sobriety, and if so, what measures have been taken to that end? Has he been in touch with anyone who could help him achieve and maintain sobriety? Is he willing to try on a solution of any kind? I ask this because while I don't recommend trying to "solve it for him", I do suggest that those around the alcoholic can be helpful in making some essential connections and I am not sure that has occurred here? In other words I am trying to gently probe you if he is actively and repeatedly turning down real help or is he just lacking for help -- there is a big difference between those two in my book.

I tend to think that realistic optimism is essential in dealing with active alcoholism, which means that although the odds may be against it, while the alcoholic is still breathing, there is hope... for who am I to say its too late when I have seen miracles?

I too think he is seriously ill and actions need to happen. I hope to have helped you focus on some solutions and stand ready to answer any more questions you might have. Thank you.

[talaniman]

Your father should see a doctor ASAP for diagnosis and treatment. It is very important to remember that if he is alcoholic then he will need to face that fact and WANT treatment ,but his present condition has to be addressed. I wish you luck.

[LUNAGODDESS]

A WET brain is a non-medical term to describe any form of alcohol-related brain damage. When someone drinks over a long period of time, cells in the brain stop working properly, even when the person is sober. Problems include memory loss, confusion, hallucinations, depression and anxiety, panic attacks, poor balance and paranoia. Your husband may need to seek help before the damage becomes irreversible. "wet brain"...according to some reading ...As the brain shrinks the ventricles will become enlarged. It basically eats away at the frontal lobe. It is caused through a B1 (Thiamine) deficiency. Alcohol destroys B1. Based on clinical research studies, between 22% to 29% of individuals with dementia are found to be heavy drinkers or alcoholics

Based on clinical research studies, between 22% to 29% of individuals with dementia are found to be heavy drinkers or alcoholics

Amongst its many symptoms are:

- double vision
- uncontrollable or twitching of the eyes. Sometimes one eye may be permanently askew
- eyelid drooping
- loss of muscle coordination
- unsteady, uncoordinated walking
- weakness
- hand tremor
- muscle contractions
- muscle atrophy
- facial paralysis
- sensation changes
- decreased sensation in the feet or hands, numbness
- abnormal sensations, tingling
- thin, malnourished appearance
- loss of hair
- dry skin
- swallowing difficulty
- speech impairment - slurring, choked
- hoarseness or changing voice
- mood changes, emotional changes, and behavior changes, including aggression
- loss of memory, can be profound
- confabulation - pathological lying to fill in gaps of time
- decreased intellect/cognitive skills
- decreased problem solving, confusion when presented with minor challenges
- loss of ability to think abstractly
- orthostatic dizziness
- constipation
- inability to tolerate cold environment
- incontinence
www.worldwideaddiction.com/

Sorry to read about the trouble you and your family will be going through... this sickness will have it's toll on you and others that care... get some help for yourself while you are going through this dilemma... believe me you will suffer mentally and physically from this event... be care not to be the caretaker... he will take advantage of you... and when that happens ( the taking advantage of) then you will hate him... remember that it is the sickness that is causing this and there will be a period of non involvement of the substance for while... it is called a relapse... substance abuser are never cured just delayed... so be carefully... while you are taking this journey... be blessed

[The WB]

I had a similar problem with a loved one and cocaine and I have lost some good friends to alcoholism (death, jail). You can only do so much. Addicted people are great manipulators. Keep the rest of your family close. Keep searching all of his hiding spots. When you find it, destroy it. This is going to piss him off a lot. Remember, he is not in his right mind. When he is away from the house, try to make sure someone is with him so he can't sneak a drink. Ultimately, the choice is his. If he knows all of the risks and continues to drink, there is really nothing you can do but love him. STAY STRONG!

[talaniman]

I hesitated before on making a suggestion to commit him to a care facility but in view of all the pain he will cause it may be an option. It starts with a doctor.