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ali_123 · Jun 1, 2009, 04:25 PM

Ok right so basically I was going out with this girl for around 6 months and it was perfect. Everything was great apart from her living quite far away from me, but it was manageble. The one day out of the blue she calls me up and says she can't be in a relationship anymore, I ask why and she gives me reasons about her family and work and just not knowing what she wants anymore. So, naturally I try to reassure her that it will work she just needs to wait it through but she was intent on breaking up even though she was really unhappy about her decision.
Since then (a couple of months ago) I've spoken to her frequently and we've acted perfectly civilised to one another but we both have feelings for each other and I would like to express my feelings for her whereas she still claims she doesn't know what she wants and she can't have a relationship right now.
I am in love with this girl and I have no idea what to do... should I wait for her to come back, give her time to realise that we belong together, I just don't know! Another option I've been thinking of is not talking to her as often and try to let her figure out for herself that she loves me.

Please help! :)

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 1, 2009, 05:52 PM

She's found someone else and trying to let you down easy. Move on.

Gemini54 · Jun 1, 2009, 07:19 PM

Listen to what she's saying - not what you want to hear.

... "She can't be in a relationship anymore ...
...just not knowing what she wants anymore....
...she doesn't know what she wants and she can't have a relationship right now".

It's pretty clear to me what she's saying - what is it about the words: "I don't want to be in a relationship with you now", that you don't understand?

talaniman · Jun 1, 2009, 07:34 PM

You tried, it didn't work, leave her alone. Sorry buddy, she ain't in love with you.

Disappear from her life. That's what she wants. Give it to her.

I wish · Jun 1, 2009, 07:34 PM

You're getting confused because she keeps saying that she doesn't want a relationship right now. That line is really misleading. What she really means is that she doesn't want a relationship with you.

She already knows that you want her back and nothing has changed.

It's time for you to move on with your life. There's no reason to put your life on hold for her. You could be waiting forever.

ali_123 · Jun 2, 2009, 01:59 AM

Yes, but she said that ideally once she'd sorted out her problems then she'd want to get back together with me

Romefalls19 · Jun 2, 2009, 05:23 AM

That's the same line a lot of people use. It's to leave you with false hope, to let you down gently. Just cut all ties and move on

roxypox · Jun 2, 2009, 07:14 AM

I'm sorry, but It does sound like she is just trying to make it easier on you (and maybe even herself) and it's a line filled with false hope.

I think that sometimes its easier on the heart if you read into it... but in the long run, it might be better to actually see the truth of your situation... Why should you wait around and wast precious time and emotions on someone who 'might' get back together with you?

talaniman · Jun 2, 2009, 07:45 AM

You never wait for someone who doesn't have time for you.

roxypox · Jun 2, 2009, 08:22 AM

Tal: had to spread rep... WELL SAID! Exactly!

zachwtay · Apr 21, 2012, 07:59 PM

My girlfriend recently has done the Same thing to me! She told me two days ago that "she didn't want to be in a relationship right now" and we "could get back together later in life." It was out of the blue and we have been dating for about 10 months and everything has been perfect. I live 4 hours from her and come home to see her every two weeks and am about to come home for three months for Summer Break which makes this situation so frustrating! I am trying to move on. If she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, then she doesn't DESERVE to be in a relationship with you.