[pathfinder616]

What is your definition of unconditional love? Do you believe there really could be a relationship where you could love someone unconditionally, more than you love yourself? What are the limitations? And when do you just say I’ve had enough and walk away from a relationship that is showing signs of failing?

(I have a few other threads centered around a failing relationship which I have made a pledge to myself that I would try to give unconditional love to a woman I deeply care about. This has been sort of my personal crusade to try to love someone more than I love myself. I know this is really about me learning how and when to let go but these are really just words which require actions. I have received some excellent advice which has really helped me to put some new perspectives on my situation. Any additional thoughts and advice on this topic would be greatly appreciated.)

[Krs]

Absolute love.
Unlimited love.

Yes I do believe you can love someone more than you love yourself.
Spiritual love.

Yes it would definitley be signs of a failing relationship if you say that without giving it a second thought at least for a good conversation.

[pathfinder616]

Absolute love.
unlimited love.

Yes i do believe you can love someone more than you love yourself.
Spiritual love.

Yes it would definitley be signs of a failing relationship if you say that without giving it a second thought at least for a good conversation.

Yes, now we have touched the place where I think my relationship has reached, spiritual love. Perhaps this is a more accurate description of where I am or where “we” are and what I’m trying to define or understand. This is new relationship territory for me.

I truly believe that this woman was “sent” to me to awaken my spiritual soul. And she has succeeded and I feel deeply indebted to her. At the same time I recognize that she is in need of something that I can provide, a true friend and companion, a lover if need be.

I’m happy to read that others are aware of this form of love I am experiencing and that it is real and something worth sacrificing for.

[Krs]

Learn to understand it together ;)

[chuff]

All love is conditional. If your mate cheats on you then it's over. For some people that's not enough but what if your mate committed cold blooded murder. Then it's over. There are always conditions. You and your partner must set and agree upon the conditions. Some conditions are agreed upon and some are just understood.

[K_3]

You are to love God above all. Unconditional love does not mean you love someone more than yourself. That is not healthy. Unconditional love it to love someone and you put no conditions on the love. You accept them for who they are. For me it is hard to put into words without it sounding as though they could abuse you or be unkind and you put up with it. That is not what I mean. When one thinks of unconditionally love, they should feel peace in the heart and know that God gives us unconditional love at all times. I do not mean to get off on a spiritual path here. I feel it is so much the same.
When you give unconditional love you have reached a higher plateau in life.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am not sure it is something we have to give, if and when it exists it is something that grows over a life time or a time.

Except for Christ, I am not sure with our selfish natures, our evil desires in our hearts it is really posible to promise or expect that level of love often or completely.

I know that shoulds perhaps the words of a man harded over a life time of pain and hurt. But I have before risk my own life to save others, even people I did not know, I have went into burning buildings, ran down dark alleys after armed men, but I did not love the people, often Idid not even know the people I was trying to save, I did it out of a duty or honor, And often when people give of thierself to others, in what can be viewed as love, I often wonder how much of it is love and how much is honor or duty. And does unconditional love actually contain some of all of their qualities.

A young couple in love, they swear their love, but how soon afterwards does this love cool not for good reasons but because of work or clothes not picked up. And how often does this love turn sour over little things.

The idea of love and our thoughs and love do last, even after relationships end, there are fond memories often 20 year latter, but this is more a memory of the love than the true love itself.

I think that real love is a verb, an action that has to be done, to be in love we have to work daily at that relationshiop to make it grow. And that in a real world, sadly people do put conditions on that love if not on purpose then merely by a result of living.

[Depressed in MO]

To me, unconditional love is when you love somebody, no matter what their faults may be sometimes. Nobody is perfect-everyone has faults. It's when you can still have that same loving feeling towards that person even when their faults are showing through. If someone you love did something that grossed you out for example, and you just couldn't get past it, then that would NOT be unconditional love. It's when you love someone, and don't just take it away because they've done something negative, or something that they just can't help.

[Wildcat21]

I totally believe in it. But it takes TIME!! There is a GREAT chance that other person WILL take you for granted. You should never give too much - ever. You need other things to revolve your life around.

Love like that does happen.

[Krs]

Everybody had faults, no one is perfect. Unconditional love is when you accept that person for whom they are, and respect them and their the decissions they makeand you support them all the way, and vice-versa. And if this love is unconditional between both parties, then their love and respect is strong.

In the case where 1 part would cheat then I believe that the person who cheats doesn't hold an unconditional love for you because instintly they would have betrayed your love and trust.