[robinnc1971]

I had to pick up my daughter from school yesterday. She and her class were on the playground. I saw my 11 yr being "pawed" on by a boy in her class. She didn't see me at first and she was laughing, not trying to push him away.. etc. Then they started holding hands, that's when she saw me standing there. I looked away for a second and looked back to see her telling this boy, "There's my mom, look you're going to have to go." I walked up to her and for a few minutes talked to her and her other friends about school life, weekend so on so on... Then when it was just me, my daughter and her very best friend "A", I asked my daughter who the little boy was... She looked at me and said "What boy?" Her friend "A" said, you know who that boy is, he's in your class and she said his name. My daughter sort of just looked at me and "A" like she just got caught in a lie. So here's my question: How should I deal with this? She has already started her period, and we have already had "The Talk". I've also told her what is and is not appropriate. I'm very upset that she lied to me. Please HELP!! :confused::(

[N0help4u]

You need to confront her that you know and ask her why is she allowing this boy to grope her.
Tell her that just because mom doesn't see something does not make it okay to do.
Tell her boys will take advantage even when they are not really interested so she shouldn't jump into things and the importance of waiting.
Take it from there and if it leads to 'the talk' then most likely it is what needs to be said.

[glowstone]

HI there...

Firstly, its OK to have concerns right.. it shows you are a good parent. You love your daughter.

Amongst what you have already done by talking to her about sex and things, there's little else you can do. Apart from being a caring and consistent influence, that's fair but firm.
Kids at 11 are going to experiment. I remember the experiments the other kids around me were doing, and it would have freaked our folks out... but that's how we learnt.. by making silly mistakes and getting into silly things!

Statistics show that the average young person is still choosing to have their first sex later into their teens. But do play around early. The media likes to freak us out with the minority of cases were girls and boys having children at very young ages and getting STDS or something!

To your daughter... she is doing something fun and exciting... You are worried for her because you have a value set and a whole bunch of experiences yourself that you would rather she doesn't go through or something... but she will make mistakes... as long as you are there to cuddle her and listen... she will be OK!

Good luck!

[N0help4u]

to add to what glowstone said
you might want to get a feel for what the other kids are doing. From what I see areas where kids grow up too fast they have peer pressure and think it is normal or expected to do what the other kids are doing.
If the kids are basically 'age appropriate' and pre teens not trying to look and act like they are 18 or 20 then she more likely fits into what glowstone said about kids experimenting.

Values, concern, closeness and open communication are the best tools you have.

[glowstone]

Yeah deffinatly, as long as the boy is aged similar then you would be looking at something that is of relative normality... now if the boy is much older then that becomes abusive!
As No Help says, get a grasp of the others around your daughter! They may indicate clues!