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    nick88's Avatar
    nick88 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 28, 2009, 12:34 PM
    Am I considered to be his girlfriend?
    So I've been seeing this guy for about 4 months now. We hang out, I come over his house usually late. We been intimate and I feel like that's all we do. He told me he likes me a lot and he likes me more and more every time he sees me. One day when he was drunk, he told me that we're in the stage that we are just hooking up, then it's going to be where we can't hook up with anyone else, then it's going to be exclusive. He tells me this is going to be a long summer, so he's thinking September. Whatever that means. We text everyday and he calls me rarely. We either see eacother at bars or his house or somewhere where we are drinking. We never been on a legite date. He blew me off on our first date. He told me that he's scared that he likes me more and more. He also told me that he feels comfortable around me and that I'm just like him and that's why he likes me. A few times when he was drunk, he asked me to marry him.. which I think he was joking. But was it one of those serious jokes. Another time he asked me if I love him.. I was like "excuse me what kind of question is that?".. I asked, "y.. do u love me" he response with, "im getting there or im in there" something like that. I am so confused as what I am to him. I really like him. I just don't know if he's using me or what. He calls me name likes, baby, babe, my love, mi amore, dollface.. the usual. One night I was hangingout with him and his friend and his friend was talking to his girlfriend on the phone, telling her to come here. He says I'm here with my friend and his girlfriend. What does that mean.. am I or is that what his friend was supposed to say. One day he texts me saying just.. my firstname and his last name. What does that mean too.. this is why I am so confused.. what do you think about this whole thing?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #2

    May 28, 2009, 12:43 PM

    Why don't you guys slow down on the drinking and go out on a legit date? What's stopping you?
    starfirefly's Avatar
    starfirefly Posts: 397, Reputation: 33
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    #3

    May 28, 2009, 12:53 PM

    U need to ask him what he wants out of this, put him on the spot if he says he doesn't know than it sounds like you are a booty call. Sorry for being so blunt but if you really want to know than ask, he has the right to tell you the truth, and if all you are doing is sleeping together and not actually doing things as a couple you need to think to yourself is this what you want?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #4

    May 28, 2009, 12:54 PM

    I think you sound like kids having sex.

    Silly games, no communication, no dating, just drunk sex... talking randomly about love and marriage.

    If your life is all about parting then do it, but you shouldn't try and contemplate real important situations from your silly screw around ways. Have fun and party or grow up and communicate with this person like an adult.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    May 28, 2009, 12:55 PM

    Don't get carried away with the intense feelings, as the alcohol, and the newness of each other is quite heady for the moment.

    Your both being swept away in intense feelings, and emotions. 4 months into a relationship does that especially when you have nothing but each other for now.

    You could try some real dates, and less drinking.

    Only a fool believes a drunk!!!
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #6

    May 28, 2009, 01:22 PM

    he told me that we're in the stage that we are just hooking up, then it's going to be where we can't hook up with anyone else, then it's going to be exclusive. He tells me this is going to be a long summer, so he's thinking September.
    So he wants to have fun over the summer and sleep around.
    Nice catch he is :rolleyes:
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #7

    May 28, 2009, 01:29 PM

    Just like Shazamataz said he doesn't want a girlfriend in the summer to many girls in bikinis. But come September he will jump right back into his safety net who he says sweet things to just to make sure she is there when the bikinis are all gone.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #8

    May 28, 2009, 01:35 PM

    You guys sound like friends with benefits. Calm down the drinking and the sex and have sober conversations for a change. See how it goes and go from there.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #9

    May 28, 2009, 01:35 PM

    Sounds like he has you as 'friends with benefits' and working you up some sort of ladder to girl friend status.
    I would slow down on the intimate until Sept. or further notice.
    Survivor07's Avatar
    Survivor07 Posts: 380, Reputation: 143
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    #10

    May 29, 2009, 04:31 PM

    I agree with all else said here. You are a booty call, a friends with benefits. All that b.s. is drunk talk. I hate to say this, but you're probably not the only one, and if he has his way, you won't be the only one for the summer. That's what he means by it's going to be a long summer!! So many girls, so little time. But he wants to keep you hanging so when summer is over, you are still there ready and willing to have sex with him. He's a player.

    To know for sure, ask him, of course. Better yet, stop having sex with him. You'll get your answer.

    You do sound young and he sounds like he's planning on or is sleeping around, so I hope you're using protection.

    Just my opinion, but if I were you, I would move on. I think you're more into him than he is you, and if you're having expectations of being his girl friend and falling in love... I'm afraid you may be setting yourself up for a real heartache.

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