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    Hiromix's Avatar
    Hiromix Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 26, 2009, 03:12 PM
    Infatuated with my straight best friend
    I'm gay and he's straight, he's a great friend. We have a lot in common in terms of music and such. But he gives off weird signals. He dabbles in gayness. All our other friends think he's bicuriuos, cause when he gets drunk he gets very touchy feely.. with me too. Like getting close to my face and almost kissing me but stoping at the last moment. I actually stop him most of the time. I think be acting extra girly and caring towards him and he may seem to be getting more distant. All my friends know I'm gay. He does too. I love him as a friend and I don't want anything to change. But my feelings may be growing. Me him and a few other friends are actually touring in a week. In the same van. For a month. I think he may know he's teasing me. I actually feel sick just thinking and writing about this. I just want to know ways to handle this.
    crazychick56's Avatar
    crazychick56 Posts: 105, Reputation: 8
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    #2

    May 26, 2009, 03:46 PM

    OK... first I want you to answer that so is what your saying somewhat that your feelings are growing to maybe feel the same way back even if you know he is just teasing...

    Well... I have a gay best friend... I know ALL about him. But since I don't know you too much... its harder to proabbly tell you any suggestions. Well... clearly nobody can tell you what to do but an idea I'm just throwing in here is that if your instincts tell you its just a tease and nothing more... don't let him get to you.

    Your going to end up sooo confused if you play this little "game" not saying he is a bad person or ANYHTING but when he gets drunk you say he is more like gay. Well... that's just what happens to you when you get drunk afraid so. You get drunk and have no cotnrol of hormones or self control or anything and you do things without thinking and he has been around you for so long so when he gets drunk he lets go. And do you think he acts like this majority of the time when he is sober? If not then it just happens when he is drunk and you can't let him confuse you and you can't let anyhting change the way you feel towards him unless he tells you... when he is not drunk... sober or whatever that he feels the same way too and you are sure that its no joke... friends are good at pointing that out. So in the meantime... just try not to let him confuse you so much...
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #3

    May 26, 2009, 03:57 PM

    How about just realizing that he's straight, he's teasing you, and you're never going to be more than friends without COMPLETELY ruining your friendship?

    Stop responding to his mixed signals.
    Hiromix's Avatar
    Hiromix Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 26, 2009, 04:07 PM

    He acts like this a majority of the time. More when he's drunk. But still A lot when he's not. Its bugging me. But I'm trying and doing my best to avoid feeling this way
    crazychick56's Avatar
    crazychick56 Posts: 105, Reputation: 8
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    #5

    May 26, 2009, 04:12 PM

    Well... just keep trying your best and eventually it will become a habit and you will become aware of when he is teasing and when you need to stay away from that(haha:p)

    Anyway... well its certainly odd when he does it a lot when he is sober... well... I still think he is doing it for a tease... maybe attention?

    Has there been anything lately that has drawn attetnion away from him and to others? Is he the attention hogging type?

    Or maybe its just that he just certainly is bicurous... but he knows he won't turn that way... he can be curious all he wants but don't let him test on you... your not the experiment just to find out the experiment wasn't right and he leaves you hanging in the end so just don't be the guinea pig here
    Hiromix's Avatar
    Hiromix Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 26, 2009, 04:31 PM

    Haha, well he certainly is the center of attention in the middle of a group. He was talking to me in the gayest way the other day. Then asked me if he thinks hed be a good actor. I asked him if he was even a little gay. And he said no. its just acting. And he's good at it. He may be messing with me because I myself came out a couple months ago. On another note. I need a boyfriend XD
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #7

    May 26, 2009, 04:45 PM

    I think you should have a talk with him and set him straight that he needs to work on a different character for his acting career. Ask him what he's going to do when he is drunk and someone takes him up on his passes.

    Tell him he is turning you on too much that might be enough to back him off.
    Hiromix's Avatar
    Hiromix Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    May 26, 2009, 04:56 PM

    I don't want to lead him on that I might be slightly attracted to him though. Even if. I wouldn't know how to say something like that to him
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #9

    May 26, 2009, 04:59 PM
    Duplicated
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #10

    May 26, 2009, 05:00 PM

    I don't mean say it in a leading on way.
    I mean like when a girl flirts with a guy and the guy says that certain things turn him on so please do not do those things simply because he doesn't want to go there with her.
    I guess the better way would be saying you don't want to get physically aroused.
    crazychick56's Avatar
    crazychick56 Posts: 105, Reputation: 8
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    #11

    May 26, 2009, 05:12 PM

    Just don't let him test on you I repeat...
    Tahts the main thing here is if you let this go on and not set this straight with him... and work things out to where you can be comfotable again and he knows not to play around with you
    Hiromix's Avatar
    Hiromix Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    May 26, 2009, 06:04 PM

    1 don't know HOW to set him straight. He can be a very sarcastic person. Every moment with him is a light hearted moment. =/
    crazychick56's Avatar
    crazychick56 Posts: 105, Reputation: 8
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    #13

    May 26, 2009, 07:04 PM

    Well just stay strong and be annependent person...
    Yudont want ruin yalls frienship

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