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    abel Chance's Avatar
    abel Chance Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 26, 2009, 02:01 PM
    Do I need counseling?
    I've been married for 18 years. For the last 6 months I've been acting out gay tendencies and have enjoyed having sex with men. I seem to take on a feminine role and pretend I am woman when a man is in me. After which I feel extremely guilty, which lasts for a couple of days and then I'm back fantazing. Looking, wanting. Do I need counseling?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #2

    May 26, 2009, 02:23 PM

    If you are cheating on your wife, and it seems you are, then YES, you need counseling!
    Megan2345's Avatar
    Megan2345 Posts: 239, Reputation: 8
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    #3

    May 26, 2009, 02:26 PM

    It's hard to say. I think almost anyone can benifet from therapy however it can be pricy. Are you wanting to stop and stay with your wife?
    Keep cheating on her and stay with her?
    Break up with her?
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #4

    May 26, 2009, 02:28 PM
    You surely need to be up front with your wife... the minute you step out of a monogamous relationship, whether its hetero or same sex, you expose your lover.

    Seriously... if you need to act out your desires, fine.

    But I have little to no tolerance for a person who screws around on another and puts their lover at risk.

    Get a f'ing pair and cowboy up... fine if you are bi or gay... I don't care. But you're f'ing around on your mate... and the fact you didn't even ask about her... it shows that you aren't good for her (unless she knows and is OK with it)... so...

    What about the marriage first? Why are you guilty? Forget about the role playing... what do you want?
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #5

    May 26, 2009, 02:35 PM

    There is nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual, but there is definitely something wrong with cheating on your wife.

    She needs to know what is going on and you need to go to counselling not only to understand the feelings you have been having and the actions you are taking but also to discuss your infidelity.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #6

    May 27, 2009, 01:07 AM
    Counselling? I think that you need to get a reality check!

    Have you any idea how your sexual shenanigans with other guys might be putting your wife at risk? At the very least she could get an STD.

    I'd get to a clinic ASAP and get myself checked out and then I'd be talking to a counsellor.

    Your behavior is putting yourself, your wife, your relationship and your family at risk.
    bronzebabe's Avatar
    bronzebabe Posts: 333, Reputation: 62
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    #7

    May 27, 2009, 05:13 AM

    Yes, you do need "couselling". You also need to get a divorce, the way I see it. You are gay, and your wife needs a husband that won't cheat on her, which you obviously will keep doing, putting her at risk for STD's. Go get a check for STD's. Then, tell your wife she needs to.
    lovelyrenae's Avatar
    lovelyrenae Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    May 27, 2009, 05:37 AM

    In my opinion it's up for you to have counseling, I understand your guilt for cheating on a woman whom you have married for 18 years, but have you felt attraction, to the same sex, before marriage?
    If not then maybe you are unhappy with your relationship with your wife. Try talking to your wife where it is quiet and private, and tell her what is on your chest. You may feel a little uncomfortable, but this it the only way.

    FOLLOW YOUR HEART, DON'T CHEAT YOURSELF OR YOUR WIFE.
    dazedandconfused2010's Avatar
    dazedandconfused2010 Posts: 22, Reputation: 6
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    #9

    Mar 15, 2010, 11:48 PM

    One thing I would seriously think about is the deseases you could get and then give her unknowingly.

    As far as having sexual feelings for men, some people don't have those kinds of feelings until much later in life like you have.

    I would really think about what you want. If you love your wife. Is there someone else?

    A choice does need to be made
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #10

    Mar 16, 2010, 07:34 AM

    This thread is a year old.

    Closed.

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