[Meow420]

I have just made an appointment to see a professional about my sex addiction.
The counsellor is a man. Is this OK? Im just not sure if I would be better talking to a woman. I have no problems in talking to a man about this but I just don't want to be judged by him.. Has anyone else seen a proffessional wth a problem like this? Did they notice a difference in seeing a counsellor of the opposite sex?

[Alty]

I've been to counselling, my first counsellor was a man, we didn't click. I don't think that his being male had anything to do with it.

The counsellor that ended up being the right one was female, but it wasn't her sex that made it work, it was her personality, we clicked.

It sometimes takes a few before you find a counsellor that works for you. Don't be discouraged if this isn't the one for you.

The most important thing is finding someone you feel comfortable with and whose advice you respect.

Good luck and good for you. :)

[Justwantfair]

Professionals are not in their field to judge you, they may have an opinion, but it isn't theirs to share with you. That is part of being a professional.

You will not be sharing anything they have not previously heard and can not counsel on. Be honest and upfront and there shouldn't be any differences between the sexs for professional counseling.

If you are uncomfortable following your first session, seek new counsel.

[Meow420]

How do I know if I don't click with him or if I just don't like what he is saying? I guess I'm in a state of denial about my whole issue.. its so hard.
I don't want to dismiss him just cos he is saying something I don't want to hear.. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens when I get there.. thanks x x

[Alty]

How do i know if i dont click with him or if i just dont like what he is sayin? I guess im in a state of denial about my whole issue.. its so hard.
I dont want to dismiss him just cos he is sayin something i dont want to hear.. i guess i will just have to wait and see what happens when i get there.. thanks x x

It's about feeling comfortable, opening up. You won't know right away, give it a few sessions, you'll know.

Just don't resist, listen with an open mind, be honest about everything, you can't heal if you don't acknowledge what's going on.

You're taking a big step, it's life changing, of course it's hard, if it wasn't then it wouldn't be worthwhile, all worthwhile change is hard. Trust me, been there, done that. ;)

You've taken the first step, the next step will be easier and so will the one after that and so on and so forth.

Dare I say I'm proud of you? Well, it sounds mommyish, but I am. :)

Keep us posted on how you're doing. So many times people come here, ask their questions, get answers and then leave, we never know what happens after that.

Good luck to you.

[Meow420]

It's about feeling comfortable, opening up. You won't know right away, give it a few sessions, you'll know.


Dare I say I'm proud of you? Well, it sounds mommyish, but I am. :)

Keep us posted on how you're doing. So many times people come here, ask their questions, get answers and then leave, we never know what happens after that.

Good luck to you.

thank u.. I needed a "mom" comment I think lol
I will keep you updated... thank you for taking an interest. I assumed I was most women's enemy on here now and they all would hope I never returned here again, regardless of the outcome.. So Thank you x x

[Clough]

Hi, Meow420!

I've been through counseling a number of different times for different reasons. Sometimes, it might take some time to find just the correct counselor for you.

I does pay to shop around, but please be open to what any of them say, even if you don't like what one of them might say. They are trying to help you.

It does sound like you would be open to what someone would tell you though, since you're looking for help on your own.

When a person goes to a professional counselor, it can take a few visits for you and the counselor to get to know each other. Those times together are usually just introductory. So, I would suggest being patient.

Is this a counselor who specializes in sexual addictions?

Thanks!

[Alty]

thank u.. i needed a "mom" comment i think lol
I will keep you updated... thank you for takin an interest. I assumed i was most womens enemy on here now and they all would hope i never returned here again, regardless of the outcome.. So Thank you x x

Hey, we're all human, we all make mistakes, the fact that you're ready to move on and get help, that says a lot.

No thanks necessary, but it is appreciated. :)

[Meow420]

Hi, Meow420!



Is this a counselor who specializes in sexual addictions?

Thanks!

Yes he deals with sex addictions.. I spoke to him for 10mins on the phone, he asked me a few basic questions.. the one question that stood out to him was "How strongly do you feel a need to be free and do whatever you want in your life without restrictions? To be your own person and do whatever it takes to make you happy?" and my reply was "very strongly".. I'm not sure what that means, but he got excited by it...

[artlady]

thank u.. i needed a "mom" comment i think lol
I will keep you updated... thank you for takin an interest. I assumed i was most womens enemy on here now and they all would hope i never returned here again, regardless of the outcome.. So Thank you x x

We do get our ire up about some things but bottom line is we have a lot of humanity as well.
Great that you are getting some counseling.
Think of it as a journey of self discovery.It won't feel so scary then:)

[Meow420]

We do get our ire up about some things but bottom line is we have a lot of humanity as well.
Great that you are getting some counseling.
Think of it as a journey of self discovery.It won't feel so scary then:)

Thanks for your comment. I know where you are all coming from. I just don't know why I accept things in my life, as morally wrong as they are, yet I KNOW they are wrong, but for some reason I put an individual reasoning on everything. In becoming open minded I think I may have lost the way. Man I don't know... but help us on its way lol

[Clough]

Originally Posted by Clough
Hi, Meow420!

Is this a counselor who specializes in sexual addictions?

Thanks!

Originally Posted by Meow420

Yes he deals with sex addictions.. I spoke to him for 10mins on the phone, he asked me a few basic questions.. the one question that stood out to him was "How strongly do you feel a need to be free and do whatever you want in your life without restrictions? To be your own person and do whatever it takes to make you happy?" and my reply was "very strongly".. I'm not sure what that means, but he got excited by it...

Hi again, Meow420!

It's been my experience, over the years with counselors, that they will try to put people into definite personality types in order to figure out the best treatment plan for the patient.

This seems to happen the most with those counselors who are psychologists and psychiatrists.

He probably feels that he was getting somewhere with you right at the get-go in communicating with you.

Thanks!

[Meow420]

Hi again, Meow420!

It's been my experience, over the years with counselors, that they will try to put people into definite personality types in order to figure out the best treatment plan for the patient.

This seems to happen the most with those counselors who are psychologists and psychiatrists.

He probably feels that he was getting somewhere with you right at the get-go in communicating with you.

Thanks!

But I don't want to be put into a personality type? How can the world of people be put into types? Aren't we all different? Oh dear... is he guna assume thigs about me that are not true just because they fit into tha personality type?

[Clough]

Well, I'm just describing my experience with them, that's all.

Is this counselor a social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist?

Thanks!

[Meow420]

Well, I'm just describing my experience with them, that's all.

Is this counselor a social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist?

Thanks!

He is just a counsellor I think.. he does these things:
Treatment
Addiction Therapy
Cognitive Therapy
Hypnotherapy
Psychotherapy
Relationship Therapy
Sexual Therapy
Service
Emotional Counselling
Sexual Counselling


Should I see a psychologist instead?

[Clough]

It sounds like he's something maybe beyond a social worker and perhaps even beyond a psychologist.

Was he recommended to you or did you just do some looking in the phone book?

Thanks!

[Meow420]

It sounds like he's something maybe beyond a social worker and perhaps even beyond a psychologist.

Was he recommended to you or did you just do some looking in the phone book?

Thanks!

I got him off the net.. typed in sex addiction couselling in my area and he popped up.

[Alty]

he is just a counsellor i think.. he does these things:
Treatment
Addiction Therapy
Cognitive Therapy
Hypnotherapy
Psychotherapy
Relationship Therapy
Sexual Therapy
Service
Emotional Counselling
Sexual Counselling


Should i see a psychologist instead?

Sounds to me like you're going to the right person. If he feels you need more help then he can offer he'll recommend other treatment.

Also, yes, we're all individuals, not lumped into groups. The therapist I saw understood that every person is unique and therefore there wasn't a "one size fits all" type therapy available.

The first sessions will be getting to know you, figuring out what works for you, what doesn't and then you'll go from there.

I don't like being "classed" or labelled either.

You went down a very specific path to get where you are and the path that you need to follow to get help will be very specific as well, a good therapist understands that and will tailor your treatment to you. :)

[Clough]

I don't like being labeled or classified as something either. However, there will probably be some test done on paper and maybe by a machine.

This is about a sexual thing, after all.

I'm not meaning to sound like a person has to be grouped or classified. Though.

Thanks!

[Meow420]

Sounds to me like you're going to the right person. If he feels you need more help then he can offer he'll recommend other treatment.

Also, yes, we're all individuals, not lumped into groups. The therapist I saw understood that every person is unique and therefore there wasn't a "one size fits all" type therapy available.

The first sessions will be getting to know you, figuring out what works for you, what doesn't and then you'll go from there.

I don't like being "classed" or labelled either.

You went down a very specific path to get where you are and the path that you need to follow to get help will be very specific as well, a good therapist understands that and will tailor your treatment to you. :)

Maybe u should change your name from "pet Expert" to "expert in all areas" lol.. I meant that in a good way, not being sarcastic x x

Cool... well I'm on the right path I guess.. just have to wait a week before I can turn the next corner...