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    BleedingLuv92's Avatar
    BleedingLuv92 Posts: 32, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #21

    Jul 4, 2010, 08:32 PM
    Teen marriage,sex,cheating.
    So my boyfriend (of a year and a half) and I had this horrible breakup which resulted in us spending a couple months apart before we got back together. During our separation, I had sex with another guy whom I had been talking to for months. Now that my boyfriend and I are back together, I am still sleeping with the other guy from time to time. I know I should feel bad but I don't.. I guess I feel like my boyfriend deserves it for hurting me so much in the past. Anyway, my boyfriend has bought me a ring and wants to marry me. I am in love with him but I can't give up the sex with my other guy. Any advice?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #22

    Jul 4, 2010, 08:45 PM

    Say no, since anyone that is still having sex with another person is not in "love" with the other.

    In fact you are trying to excuse your immoral behavior by blaming him, What happened during break up time is one thing,
    Merely tell boyfriend you are sleeping with sommeone else, and the issue will solve itself
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #23

    Jul 4, 2010, 08:50 PM

    It's a requirement for marriage that you tell the one you're going to marry if there is any other guy in your life. Once you tell him there is, the problem will be resolved.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #24

    Jul 4, 2010, 10:45 PM
    You have two' men' in your life, one of whom loves you so much he wants to marry you.

    The other is an occasional booty call, with which you happily comply, not willing to give up.

    Your boyfriend wants to marry you someday, despite the fact that you lie, and cheat, and have the moral fortitude of an ant.

    I don't know what kind of answer you are expecting- are you looking to justify your behaviour somehow?

    If you are a teenager, you are learning the hard way that a solid, loving relationship does not include three people. That would be one person too many depending upon your math skills.

    Give your head a shake, try being honest, and try being strong enough to admit when you are stringing along a person who loves you- let him go.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #25

    Jul 5, 2010, 12:41 PM

    When some one cannot manage their own affairs or feed themselves or are healthy enough to know they have issues to overcome, then I doubt seriously if they are ready to be a partner in life.

    You think getting married will fix all the confusion? It will NOT! It makes things much worse, especially if your looking for someone to make you happy, or make all your problems go away.

    Doesn't work that way, sorry.
    BleedingLuv92's Avatar
    BleedingLuv92 Posts: 32, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #26

    Jul 6, 2010, 08:49 PM
    Does he have real feelings for me?
    I had been talking to this guy for about 6 months. We would text all day long sometimes, and nearly every day. I was dating someone for most of that time, but I was seriously crushing on this guy. So once I ended my relationship, I decided to go for it.the guy invited me over to his house where we ended up having sex. Afterwards, things were very awkward. He and I can barely keep a conversation going in person but we continue to have sex. We also don't text anymore. I know that the obvious interpretation is that he's using me but its hard for me to believe that after all the time he has invested in me. Any thoughts?
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #27

    Jul 6, 2010, 08:55 PM

    I'm not really here to judge...

    But honestly, the reason that so many guys (and girls) come on this website to ask questions is because of girls like yourself. You had a boyfriend, yet to continued to talk to a guy and began "crushing" on him... then you moved on very quickly to a new guy, had sex with him, and now you're thinking, "Jeez, what's wrong with this?"

    ... I have a feeling your ex boyfriend is on this site asking, "My girlfriend dumped me and moved on with this other guy...what do I do?"

    But again, I'm here to offer advice, not judge. Yes. He used you.
    parisrose's Avatar
    parisrose Posts: 61, Reputation: 28
    Junior Member
     
    #28

    Jul 6, 2010, 10:39 PM

    There was too much texting and not enough actual in person conversation. Then you two just had sex. So the mystery and excitement was over very fast. This is why it was very awkward. You two moved way to fast and there's nothing left now.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #29

    Jul 7, 2010, 08:52 AM

    I think the time he invested in you was to serve a purpose and that purpose has been served. You spent so much time texting, and you also got into something with this person too soon after you ended a relationship.

    Do you and he do anything apart from having sex? I mean does he take you out, do you talk, or anything else, like one would do in a usual m/f relationship? Any interactions between 2 people is deemed a relationship.

    I agree with previous poster we aren't here to judge, but as you mentioned your thoughts of being used, then I agree you probably are being used. With that said, you now need to ask yourself, is this what you want, or not. If not then you need to consider stopping contact with this person.
    1800proof's Avatar
    1800proof Posts: 63, Reputation: 36
    Junior Member
     
    #30

    Jul 7, 2010, 09:13 AM
    Texting is not much of an investment. I am a man and have had texting relationships with women, and it is easy to NOT put a lot of heart into what you are writing. Plus, it's so impersonal -- there is no face to the words, just a fantasy. You said that you can barely keep a conversation in person and no longer text... so it seems like all there is is the sex part. If you keep coming around, of course he will keep having sex with you. Are you using him?? What is it you want from the guy? You might want to talk to the guy about it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #31

    Jul 8, 2010, 08:20 PM

    You are totally out of control, and a long way from reality. Leave the guys alone and find yourself. You need a counselor really bad and not a sex buddy, or an ex who wants to marry you, so you can get away from a dysfunctional household.

    You are looking for love in all the wrong places. Get the help you need by talking to someone you really trust, who wants nothing from you.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #32

    Aug 7, 2010, 12:34 PM

    Has anyone been following this? Here are the high points:

    May 14 – wants to be with boyfriend who may or may not want to be with her;

    May 7 - birth control removed, unprotected sex, thinks she’s pregnant (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ot-469410.html)

    April 24 - birth control removed, unprotected sex, thinks she’s pregnant (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...nt-466665.html)

    April 21 - birth control removed, unprotected sex, thinks she’s pregnant (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...nt-466665.html)

    April 9 - trying to have a baby but has “situational issues;” can his sperm be frozen for later use (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...ml#post2308485)

    Oct 24, 2009 - on antiobiotics; can she get pregnant (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ml#post2049335)

    Feb 10, 2009 - she’s 17, he’s 18, is it rape (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ml#post2049335)

    OP needs a lot more knowledge if she intends to continue to engage in sex.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
    Ultra Member
     
    #33

    Aug 7, 2010, 02:04 PM

    ... ouchies.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #34

    Aug 7, 2010, 02:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny View Post
    ...ouchies.
    I third and fourth that. :D
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #35

    Aug 8, 2010, 07:18 AM

    Trying to keep this on topic and not have threads serious issues taken away, so thread cleaned up slightly.

    Glad you set it up in the correct time frame.

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