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    spikeysteveo's Avatar
    spikeysteveo Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 24, 2009, 12:56 AM
    Girlfriend's ex won't go away.
    I've been together with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now. She has a house which she rents out two rooms (her ex and someone else). The ex has been living there for a year. The ex doesn't have a job (not able to hold a job for more than a month) and isn't looking for one and hasn't paid rent for months. My girlfriend's always comes home from work tried and stressed out. I'm 100 miles away 3 days of the week for work. We're trying really hard to pay the bills. Lately I have been getting arguments with her about her ex. She says she doesn't have any feelings for him. I just don't know what to do.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #2

    May 24, 2009, 07:45 AM

    Its not good to have the ex in the picture of a relationship. She might not have feelings for him or she might have only she knows. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable in your position. If you don't think you can take it, its better to break things up with her.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    May 24, 2009, 07:53 AM

    If her ex haven't paid rent in months and she is left with paying his share then she needs to evict him to stop his freeloading ways.

    She has to something because this is unfair to her. If she doesn't say anything to him about this he will continue taking advance of the situation.


    So who do you think is at fault here? Him for taking advantage of the situation or her for allowing him to?

    Time for her to give him an ultimatium or give him his 30 day notice. I wouldn't deal with this and being left stressed over bills and paying my hard earn money for someone that is lazy and who can work but chooses not to. No way! He isn't my child.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    May 24, 2009, 01:01 PM

    There are so many things wrong with this picture.

    1) Your girlfriend lives with her ex, which she shouldn't have done in the first place, whether she has feelings or not.

    2) She's covering his expenses, so the ex doesn't have the pressure to go find a job.

    3) He owes her a lot of money, even if he's evicted, she'll still have to chase him for the money he owes.

    I'm sorry to say, but if I were in your position, I wouldn't be able to trust her. Who knows what her reasons were for letting him live with her.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    May 24, 2009, 02:18 PM

    Why add to the stress by arguing, she will probably have to kick both of you to the curb, just to have some peace.

    Hey look, when a couple is having money problems, they argue over everything. Back up a bit, and get your own feelings under control, so you can talk, listen, and vent to each other, as you come up with a plan to cope with this glitch!
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    May 24, 2009, 04:39 PM

    I'm confused by why you are both stressed about paying the bills. If she can't pay the bills that would be her problem for letting her tenant have free rent. If she starts complaining to you but does nothing to solve her problem, then you are just the emotional sponge she dumps her problems on.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #7

    May 24, 2009, 04:51 PM

    To solve money problems, which seem to stress both of you. Kick the dead beat ex out to the curb, find a tenant that will pay rent, on time
    shelbyhicks123's Avatar
    shelbyhicks123 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jun 7, 2009, 02:20 PM

    Tell her its you or the ex because he isn't getting off his arse to pay the rent and I agree with Romefalls19, chuff, I wish and none12345...
    Its one way or another.

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