[nikosmom]

See that was my point Nohelp! It would've been nice had the younger guys at least offered to help me. Especially since I was in dressy clothes with a baby strapped in the backseat. But nope.

Want to hear something funny- a couple of them even said "hi" when they walked by. Seriously? Really?

[nikosmom]

N0help4u agrees: I hear you!!! in fact with me the people called Childrens protective services on me because I had to get 4 babys and groceries out of my car thats how bad people are nowadays.

That's horrible!

[artlady]

I'm an independent woman; I have to be. I'm a single mom so I pay the bills, mow the lawn, do the laundry, cook the meals, kiss the ouchies, check the oil in the car, toss around the ball with my boy, and still take the time to do my hair and make-up in the mornings. But I still appreciate a true gentleman.

I don't date much these days but when I do I expect that he should open the door for me and treat me like a lady. It's not that I can't do certain things (because I obviously do them for myself when I'm alone), it's just nice to have a man step up and bring back the old ways of the gentleman.

About a month ago when leaving church I noticed my tire was going flat so I headed to a gas station. The tire had completely shredded by the time I pulled into the station so I went in the trunk for my jack and spare. Now an older gentleman, around 70 I suppose, offered to help me. I told him thank you and that I was ok- the truth was that I didn't feel comfortable asking him to do it because of his age. Did I want help?- Of course. It was hot and I was wearing my Sunday's best. Plus my baby was in the backseat. Quite a few 'younger' men walked past while I was down on my knees changing the tire. And not one of them had the kindness of the older man to offer any assistance. It made me sad. Of course I knew how to change the tire and I did and made it home safely. But it would've been nice if those that were physically able had offered to see if they could help in any way.

That is horrible.I know my sons and their friends would have stopped ,in a heartbeat.
Sad.Makes you wonder why? I understand why no one is foolish and stops in a bad area.
I don't care ,I always stand up. I am never not going to sit by and see someone who needs help and not give it.

Were they thinking you were afraid of them so they backed away?
Sometimes

[nikosmom]

artlady agrees: Oh Baby ,you need to date,the man that finds you is LUCKY :)

Wish I could give a greenie on a greenie! Ahh, yes I need to date more... :rollyeyes:

[cozyk]

[QUOTE=N0help4u;1751084]Busy? No I think it is more about selfish. '

Like I hate it when I go in the store to buy two or three items that cost less than $10. I go to get in line and somebody with a overflowing cart cuts in front of me. Use to be if somebody saw you had two or three items they let you go ahead of them.

This has not happened to me. I let people in, and people have let me in when I just have a small amount. Maybe it's where you live. When I lived in Pa. people there were more gruff and aggressive.

Same in driving people cut you off and then give you the finger and drive on cussing you out.

People don't cut me off or give me the finger BUT one thing that makes me angry is when I need to get over in another lane, I have my blinker on, yet drivers will not let me in. In fact they speed up to make sure that I can't get over. What's with that? I always let people over when they need it. The name of the game is courtesy though, even when others aren't courteous to you. Why, because your good behavior should not be contingent on someone else's good behavior.

If children today have bad manners, it is because the parents haven't instilled it into their children from day one. Now, what is the parent's excuse?

[cozyk]

Oh well I have to go back to plan B and find a way to move to one of the places I would like to move to.

Another thing that drives me crazy is these young mothers that take advantage of older people and then talk about them like a dog.
Like they get them feeling sorry for them and next thing you know they are buying them a cell phone and paying their monthly bill. Getting them to come pick up 8 loads of laundry and take it home, wash it and bring it back all nice and folded. Take them shopping and then conveniently don't have enough money to pay for the own baby's diapers so of course the old person offers.
Then they have the nerve to roll their eyes and say '' oh that B!T*H'' when someone says the elderly person is going to stop by to visit them and they don't need them at the minute.

You must live in an awful place. Could it be that you are focusing on the bad and not noticing the good?

[cozyk]

Did ya'll notice after 9/11 that people were nicer and more tolerant? We let people cut in traffic , let the three item shopper go first , held the door with a somber smile. We've still got it in us. And as far as guys' lack of respect, I'm glad I had boys only. Because if some punk with his waistband down to his knees, bolt in his tongue , weedwacker haircut, skull tattoo on his neck , blows the horn in my driveway for my baby girl to come out , I might just snap. At my house it's PLEASE , THANK YOU ,YES SIR, NO MA'AM and GOD bless us all.

If a guy wanted to date my daughter, he would have to come to the door, horn blowing would not be permitted. I'm originally from the south and my children, my son especially say thank you, yes ma'am, no sir, etc. He will soon be 19 and is a really a nice person.
When I lived in other parts of the country, my friends were so amused by his politeness.

I think we have to be careful judging people by how they dress or look. It is not always a reflection of how they behave.

Maybe people were nicer after 9/11 because we felt united and protective of our own.
All I can say is that it is up to each of us to continue being polite and hope it's contagious.

My favorite saying is... Pay it forward.

[N0help4u]

Nah I don't think I am focusing on the bad and not noticing the good. I guess I'm not around the right places at the right times type thing or something.

[0rphan]

Talking of manners, the thing that absolutely winds me up to the point of exploding, is the people.. (usually teenage years and early 20's).. who are talking on their mobile phones, loud enough for you to get involved in the blatant argument that is going on, with every swear word you can think of.

Remembering that they are in a long line of people waiting to be served, you would think that when it's their turn the phone would go off, but no,they still continue their argument,which by now has the whole shop listening in whilst making signs for what ever they wish to purchase... no please or thank you off they go totally in their own little world... drives me nuts.

There are some younger children who are lovely, very polite always say excuse me, please and thank you.

It seems to be the teens that are the worst offenders, apparently it's not... COOL... to be polite.

Sadly the young ones will become exactly the same in a few years time, simply to fit in and be accepted as one of what ever gang they hang around with.

I have to say though a lad of about 12 did hold the door open for me tonight, which was a pleasant surprise, I fully expected him to walk in front of me letting, what is a heavy door,swing back in my face...

I see lots of parents speak to their children like a piece of dirt, you wouldn't address a dog in the same manner, they then wonder why the child repeats the same language back to them, which also earns them a slap around the face.

It's clear what is happening ( bad parenting) but me as a bystander have no right to do or say anything...

So it repeats itself in each generation.

[N0help4u]

Not only when they have these phone conversations for the world to hear, if anyone comments they are told to mind their own business like you are suppose to go deaf and dumb while they talk.

I know so many little 2 and 4 yr olds that cuss people out with words I never heard until I was 20. Most of the parents think it is so cute.

[spitvenom]

My wife calls me the doorman because I hold doors open for ALL ladies. The younger girls get freaked out I guess they aren't use to a MAN holding a door open for them. The older ladies love it. They always say well its good to know there is still one gentleman left in Philadelphia. It always makes me laugh when I am holding a door for someone then a couple walks in and the so called "man" doesn't take the door for his GF/Wife. I usually get a big Thank you from the lady and he gets a dead man walking stare from her.

But just like JM said My mom told me when I started to date that if I ever think of lying, cheating, disrespecting or hitting a women just Imagine someone doing that to her or my sister. So that has stuck with me forever.

I sometimes say No problem instead of Your welcome but I don't work in retail usually when I say No problem it is a client asking me to go above or beyond what I am supposed to do. So it really is no problem

Come to think of it I hardly ever say your welcome I usually say Thank you because without our clients I wouldn't have a job.


Oh in case anyone was wondering I am 31 and must boys my age don't hold doors for Ladies.

[cozyk]

We seem to just be picking on the kids. This is what has happened to me on 3 recent occasions in a restaurant.

1, Man around 55-60 eating by himself talked on his cell phone the entire time he was there. He spoke so loud that you could hear him all over the dining area.

2. A man around 40ish was sitting across the booth from his wife. She had a news paper spread out on the table and he was on his cell phone, THE ENTIRE MEAL.

3. A man around 35-40 was eating with his daughter (around age 10). Instead of paying attention to her, he was talking on his cell. On the loud side too.

Oh yeah, here's another one. Four men, looked like construction workers kept talking on their walkie talkie. You get to listen to BOTH sides of the conversation, and it's loud too!

Just my 2 cents on what I've observed.

I think we can credit text messaging for me not hearing kids on their cells. Just the adults. But look at their roll models!

[jmjoseph]

I ABSOLUTELY judge people by their actions, not appearance. I think we all (most) know we're talking about the majority. And it's not just the kids either.

[Catsmine]

Came late to this party; sorry.

I believe the lack of manners today is a function of overcrowding. I now live in a small town and know most of my neighbors. We tend to be polite to one another.

I have lived in large cities (Memphis, San Diego), medium sized cities(Chattanooga), suburbs (Columbia, TN), and small towns across the country. The denser the population, the less often I hear a "please."

I do try to combat the urge to respond "No problem" by making the old joke "Chivalry isn't dead, we just had to hide it in the 90's."

[dontknownuthin]

I think the problem is that people have the misunderstanding that manners are for being "fancy" instead of for showing courtesy and avoiding offense to other people. Ever see people who are normally total boors start acting like they havce manners when they are at a wedding or funeral and dressed up? Teach your children, show a good example. Also teach your children that one of the rules of manners is to not point out the bad manners of others (intentional rudeness is something else, but rudeness by error or sloppiness- just let it go!).

[Melhoneybee]

I agree that manners are a little lacking these days. I come from the UK where manners are disappearing. I personally can not stand people who do not show common courtesy. In England it seems that table manners are also a part of life fastly vanishing too as many families have "TV dinners". I personally think that table manners should be something to be taken more into consideration.
I myself have been shown disrespect from elders which I'm very shocked about, as I thought older generations in our society would feel more inclined to used good manners than the younger generation. The fact that I am younger than someone doesn't mean that I don't expect to be treated nicely. But most of the time the youth of Britain are treated badly as the majority are not very well behaven and are rebellious making lots of people think that every young person is a little terror when in fact there is a small minority there to be kind, helpful and respectful.
Going to an ex boarding school manners are something that the school values and are enforced from the ages of 4 upwards which I'm proud to say works wonders for the pupils and haven't come across many with bad manners at the school but having come into contact with young teens from other schools (as you do) I am sometimes dumbfounded at what little manners they have.
But not everyone is so ignorant and rude and there are some people out there with a great sense of helping and support. As it's been said the way you look should not have anything to do with how courteous you are although it seems to be we live in a world of streotypers.
Lol. Long rant I know but I just had to get it out :P