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adrian43092 · May 19, 2009, 10:04 AM

Okay. My Girlfriend and I were going out for 9 months when about a week ago she decided to break up with me. We had a long distance relationship as I lived in CT and she lived in TX. She said the reason for the break up was that she gives me too much trouble and I'm an amazing guy who deserves a girl better than her that will treat me right. But I feel like absolute crap now like I'd rather die than not be with her and worst of all, she totally stopped talking to me like she doesn't answer my phone calls and she dosen't respond to my texts. But right before she stopped talking to me should said she loves me so much and that she's just so sorry for everything. What Do I Do? Thanksn :confused:

spitvenom · May 19, 2009, 10:20 AM

I could be wrong but it sounds like she found someone else.

markerman · May 19, 2009, 10:29 AM

I have been in the same situation as you brother. The best advice I can give you to get your ex back is to stop contacting her. How is she going to miss you if your always contacting her. Contacting her will only push her farther away. It is hard to do, but you have to try. Once she realizes that you don't need her, you simply just wanted her, she will be contacting you. This could take days, weeks and months before she contacts you. In the mean time, realize that its fate. If you are meant to be, it will happen. Focus on showing her you don't need her anymore. Try and move on the best you can. Don't think about her. I made the mistake of contacting, then sending a bad email out of frusteration. Nothing works but no contact! Trust me buddy... start today!! NO CONTACT, you can also use reverse psychology and send her a email or text agreeing with the break up right before the no contact. She will want what she can't have...

MsMewiththat · May 19, 2009, 10:45 AM

I thought the same thing.someone else that was my immediate first mind reaction.
However, not knowing her I would have to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that it is very possible that it is easier for her to make the decision and then not speak with you. Speaking with you would only make it harder for her to enforce the decision that was most likely difficult to make.
Long distance relationships are difficult to sustain and often times you find yourelf byyourself while other people in love around you have each other, it's a lonely choice. Give her some time and then speak to her about the decision, but allow her the time now to get her thoughts together.

kctiger · May 19, 2009, 10:47 AM

Screw getting your ex back, the real issue here is that you need to get yourself back... your confidence, your mojo, whatever you call it. You would rather die than to not have her.. (I know it is a saying, but still). You are way too irrational right now to make a good decision, so the best thing you can do is leave her along. I have used the "You deserve better" line a time or two, and most often it just meant I wanted out of the relationship. I am sorry you are torn up, I know it sucks, but you need to get your head back into the game. For right now, she DOES NOT exist to you. Don't call, text, email, e-creep, nothing. Restructure your life to bigger and better things.

BMI · May 19, 2009, 10:54 AM

Firstly, it's speculative to wonder why she broke up with you, I don't think there is any information to suggest it's another guy and it's certainly not for the reason's she mentioned.

It could be anything really. I'm pretty sure her explanation is but one of a thousand she could choose from, they are just to let you down easy. I mean c'mon, your too good, your too perfect??

When a girl starts letting you down easy it's time to get as far away as possible. Most of us know these lines and they are intended to make a clean and polite getaway, if you force the issue than you force them to be more frank about why it is they left (usually thisis negative). You start contacting her and that's where talk of another guy or something of the like starts to surface, it then feels 10x worse.

Let it go friend.

lillybells · May 19, 2009, 11:18 AM

Right a girl I'd think I would know. Text her, Yes and your probely thinking ''she won't text back'' BUT she might look at it, So put soming really loving like '' you're the one for me and always will be'' or ''you'll aways be the one, We're meant for each other! Girls fall for that but no me!

kctiger · May 19, 2009, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by lillybells

Right a girl i'd think i would know. Text her, Yes and your probely thinking ''she won't text back'' BUT she might look at it, So put soming really loving like '' your the one for me and always will be'' or ''you'll aways be the one, We're ment for each other! Girls fall for that but no me!

Eight year olds fall for that, women do NOT fall for that stuff. This advice is fairly poor. You must be pretty young huh?

I wish · May 19, 2009, 04:55 PM

It doesn't matter what her reason is, the fact remains that her feelings for you have changed. There's nothing you can do about that now.

What you need to do is focus on yourself. Like Kc said, you need your confidence and self-esteem back.

Triysle · May 19, 2009, 06:19 PM

Read my signature, friend. Do your best to focus on your own life, and forget about the reasons she may or may not have ended it. It will do you no good.

Remember, no one needs another person to survive or to even be happy in this life. The sooner you realize that, the better off you will be :)

~ Tee

susangpyp · May 19, 2009, 07:02 PM

It sounds like she's letting you down easy. Grieve the relationship but move on with your life. Her going no-contact (NC) is the best thing to move along.

Like others said, you need to focus on you.

lillybells · Jun 3, 2009, 11:54 AM

OK I was wrong before, what u need to do is to give her a rest, u've probely annoyed her just wait she might be back soon

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 3, 2009, 12:29 PM

Originally Posted by susangpyp

It sounds like she's letting you down easy. Grieve the relationship but move on with your life. Her going no-contact (NC) is the best thing to move along.

Like others said, you need to focus on you.

Just go NC. Who knows why she did what she did. It doesn't matter what her reasons are. You are here in the now. You have to deal and start to move on.

roxypox · Jun 3, 2009, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by lillybells

ok i was wrong before, what u need to do is to give her a rest, u've probely annoyed her just wait she might be back soon

Its OK to be wrong, that's how we learn... But I want to add... that NC is for you to recover, not win people back...

And who knows what her reasons for breaking up was... her feelings might have changed, the distance is too long... one can really make several assumptions and speculations about it.

She has broken up with you... seems to have moved on and you should do the same. Do NC... but do it for you! Not to win her back!

ayejay0601 · Jun 3, 2009, 05:29 PM

Listen to the people on this thread who say do not contact her. We all know that we are supposed to move on, but we come on to this site looking for hope. There is hope of getting her back, but very little. In other words, don't hold your breath. However, to maximize the chances, you must not contact her. She must realize that she misses you. Even if there is another man, if the relationship the two of you had was good, she will be with that new man for a fairly short period before she realizes that she doesn't really like him all that much. I think this happens a lot. But there is also the chance that she really does like this person so don't get your hopes up.

Romefalls19 · Jun 3, 2009, 07:03 PM

Ok, I don't know when this board turned into such happy go lucky. She broke up with him, his life didn't end even though he is thinking it has. She used a bogus line to break up with him, she's not taking his calls or any type of contact.

Things to do

1. Get your b@lls back between your legs
2. Delete any sort of contact you could have with her
3. Stop texting or calling her
4. Stalking is not romantic, it's a restraining order waiting to happen.

You went however old you are without her, you will recover, only if you follow our advice

roxypox · Jun 4, 2009, 02:39 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Ok, I don't know when this board turned into such happy go lucky. She broke up with him, his life didn't end even though he is thinking it has. She used a bogus line to break up with him, she's not taking his calls or any type of contact.

Things to do

1. Get your b@lls back between your legs
2. Delete any sort of contact you could have with her
3. Stop texting or calling her
4. Stalking is not romantic, it's a restraining order waiting to happen.

You went however old you are without her, you will recover, only if you follow our advice

Had to spread the rep Rome... but good points.

OP: you should follow Romes advice!

I also want to ad some points of my own:

5. You should be realistic about your situation!
6. You should take this for what it is: she broke up with you!
7. No Contact is for you to get back to yourself, to focus on you and get your focus away from the break up and her.
8. No Contact should not be used in order to get her back!
9. Don't let False hope seep into your consiousness and take over... it will only prolong the process; she will most likely not come back to you!
10. Keep yourself busy and go on with your day to day life. Seeing as she lives far away from you, you have an advatage here... (and yes I'm assuming) but she wasn't a part of your day to day activities... work/school, hanging out with friends etc.
11. Find new hobbeis or take up old ones!
12. Start working out, if your not already doing that

And yes I'm going to repeat myself and Rome; do not contact her, do not look at old pictures or texts etc.... It will just be like wallowing and will not help you short term or in the long run.

And if you need to talk about this. We're here! If you need us to clearify or need more advice (generall or spesific) we're here!