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kp2171 · May 6, 2009, 05:56 PM

By the way... if it seems like its easy for us to give advice... like leaving a person you care about is nothing... its not like that.

I can't speak for the rest, but I've done more than my fair share of dumb things for like, lust, and love.

So... when I say "really? you are trying to hold on why?"... it isn't because I can't relate... its because I've tried to hold on and only later, after much unnecessary emotional baggage was checked, did I realize

"wow... now THAT was dumb of me to do"...

So...

Unless you can show me how this guy, who has told you directly that he isn't leaving her, has your best interest in mind... I just don't know what else to say other than get out now or sooner.

Its what id tell my best friend. What id tell a sister.

We aren't saying its easy to do what you need to do... but knowing what you need to do isn't all that complicated.

talaniman · May 6, 2009, 09:04 PM

Originally Posted by Audette

Thanx guyz for the advise.It means a lot but am i wrong for wanting to know if its really over?

Yes you are. You are very wrong, because his actions have spoken, but your not listening.

Sorry to be harsh, but sometimes you have to understand the non verbal language as well as words.

Audette · May 8, 2009, 01:54 PM

Threads merged

Its been a week since I spoke to him.I've tried very hard 2 put all the advice given to me 2 good use bt its easier said than done.Im really hurting.I didn't know how strongly I felt about him until quite recently.I miss him so much I know I shouldn't bt I do

I have been sleeping this guy who is involved.I really like him a lot and he wants us to start dating like seriously.I mean the sex is great but I can't stop thinking about his galfrend.should I continue or just end it before a lot of people get hurt?

ajGambino · May 8, 2009, 02:43 PM

A week is a good start. I'm sorry for your pain and suffering but it's all part of the healing process. When you said you didn't know how strongly you felt about him, you didn't realize how much you relied on him to give you happiness. Try to find what makes you happy, without him. Get yourself back, you deserve that much.

You're going to miss him... you're going to miss him for a long time but each passing day will make it easier. Try to pass the day with friends and family because they will always be there for you and never leave.

shazamataz · May 17, 2009, 11:37 AM

No not at all.

They are currently dating someone and therefore "off the market".

If you engaged in a relationship with this person it would mean they are cheating on their current partner...
Would you want to be with someone who is a cheater?

chuff · May 17, 2009, 11:47 AM

What do you think?

Silverfoxkit · May 17, 2009, 11:51 AM

To put it simply, NO.

You should have already known the answer to that no brainer.

artlady · May 17, 2009, 11:51 AM

It is morally wrong and will never lead to anything good.
A relationship that begins with deceit usually has a very bad outcome.

Audette · May 17, 2009, 11:56 AM

I think it depends on whether the person is married or in a serious relationship because if sum1 is married that's a no go zone bt if you are just dating I don't c a problem with dating sum1 like that.

taoplr · May 17, 2009, 11:58 AM

If they are married, living together, or otherwise committed, No.

Silverfoxkit · May 17, 2009, 12:14 PM

I think it depends on whether the person is married or in a serious relationship because if sum1 is married that's a no go zone bt if you are just dating i don't c a problem with dating sum1 like that.

I'm sorry but I am going to have to heavily disagree.

How would you feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend was cheating on you while in a relationship? If you don't ant others to do it to you then don't do it to others.

Plus any person willing to cheat on a boyfriend/girlfriend they are likely to carry those habits into marriage.

Also marriage comes from the union of two people who love and trust one other. If your too busy hitting the sack with someone else then you do you expect to keep a relationship that will make it into marriage.

I'd rather not even look at a cheating loser if I could help it. I certainly wouldn't stay with one. I personally prefer morals and values. I have a higher opinion of spiders then cheaters and trust me, you could not get me near a spider.

artlady · May 17, 2009, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Silverfoxkit

I'm sorry but I am going to have to heavily disagree.

How would you feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend was cheating on you while in a relationship? If you don't ant others to do it to you then don't do it to others.

Plus any person willing to cheat on a boyfriend/girlfriend they are likely to carry those habits into marriage.

Also marriage comes from the union of two people who love and trust one other. If your too busy hitting the sack with someone else then you do you expect to keep a relationship that will make it into marriage.

I'd rather not even look at a cheating loser if I could help it. I certainly wouldn't stay with one. I personally prefer morals and values. I have a higher opinion of spiders then cheaters and trust me, you could not get me near a spider.

Can't rep you but I could not agree more!

shazamataz · May 17, 2009, 12:26 PM

Like I've said many times before...

Would you honestly trust this guy in a relationship..
He is currently cheating on his girlfriend, what makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you?

Definitely end it.

shazamataz · May 17, 2009, 12:28 PM

Ok, I just realised you posted the same question twice...
Didn't like the other answers?

artlady · May 17, 2009, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by Audette

I think it depends on whether the person is married or in a serious relationship coz if sum1 is married thats a no go zone bt if u r just dating i dont c a problem with dating sum1 like dat.

I have to disagree with your answer.They said this person is involved with someone else.
If a person is in a relationship,even if they are not married,they should be true to that person ,unless they have an agreement that dating outside the relationship is allowed.

Please also read the rules regarding chat speak.Thank-you.

Silverfoxkit · May 17, 2009, 12:30 PM

Yes, you should end it or everyone here will be hurt.

If he is so quick to sleep with you then what is he going to do if you do start seriously dating him? Why wouldn't he cheat on you just the same?

Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel? Think about it hard because those feeling will be made reality if you start dating him and become the girlfriend in the same scenario another woman is asking about.

You must also consider the health risks to dating a man that is very unscrupulous in his sex life. He may not just give you a broken heart if he cheats on you but another, much more lasting gift. AIDS for instance. Maybe herpes. The list of STD's is pretty scary actually.

shazamataz · May 17, 2009, 12:32 PM

He has a girlfriend but he has asked her to date him seriously...

I have absolutely no respect for a man that does this...
He is staying with his current girlfriend and using her as a 'safety net' in case you say no.

Would you really want to be with someone who is a liar and a cheat?

none12345 · May 17, 2009, 12:32 PM

Just end it. Don't be a cheater. Takes 2 to have cheating going on. How can you be with someone that is with 2 different people?

Silverfoxkit · May 17, 2009, 12:34 PM

Exactly. If you are going to choose who you are going to be with why knowingly choose a lying scumbag?

liz28 · May 17, 2009, 01:30 PM

How would you like it if you had a girlfriend that decided to cheat on you by dating someone else? Is this called a two timer?

This girl is two timing her boyfriend and I feel sorry for him.

So a simple soluation to this problem would be you doing the manly thing by asking her boyfriend if it is okay for you date her since they aren't married.

Personally I never play the sidelines and Karma will catch up to you and this girl. Play with fire and your only get burnt in the end. Believe me!